Work on yourself: how to start changing

Why do we want to change?

If it seems to you that something needs to be changed in this life, then it does not seem to you.

Rinat Valiullin

I am that the first step to making a conscious change in life is planning. However, I did not specify what exactly makes us start planning, looking for sources of motivation and working with our resources.

Everything is very simple - it is a rejection of reality.

We begin to think about changes when a desire is born in us to say: “There is something wrong in my life. I do not like it! . It happens when something makes us question our living standards.

I recently read the story of a girl who lost 20 kilograms. I will give it as an example.

“I was on the subway when all the seats were taken. My grandmother was sitting in front of me and for the first few minutes she carefully examined me. Then she got up and with the words: "Sit down, daughter, you are not supposed to stand with the baby" - gave me a seat. Burning with shame and holding my "baby", I sat down. It was at that moment that I realized that it couldn't go on like this."

The first thing that you must understand when you embarked on the path of change is that the new standards you are striving for do not correspond to what you have at this stage. But after all, not everyone has such an opportunity to experience a moment of utmost clarity, to see themselves from the outside and rethink their habits, like the aforementioned girl. So what do you do?

1. What do I want to change?

It doesn't make much sense to climb a ladder if it's against the wrong wall.

Stephen Covey

This is the main question that worries most people who have received a charge of motivation, but do not know where to direct their energy.

There are many ways to identify problem areas, but the simplest and most effective of them is a competent assessment. To do this, you need to separately consider the main areas of your life, which, as a rule, include:

love;
friendship;
welfare;
health;
Work;
hobby.

This classification was proposed by Russian business coach Radislav Gandapas. You can use your own division by expanding the individual directions in more detail.

Now you need to evaluate each of them on a ten-point scale. This will help you determine which areas need your attention in the first place. If you have opposite assessments (for example, 3 and 10), then you should think about how to redirect your efforts to the area that needs it more.

If all the numbers are approximately the same, then start with health and love, since their development most of all trains the will and gives motivation for self-improvement.

2. How to force yourself to act?

To change something, a person needs to go through a catastrophe, poverty or the nearness of death.

Erich Maria Remarque

After you have decided what to work on, you must put yourself into a state of rejection of reality. Your desire to raise existing standards must overcome the fear that is guaranteed to cause the desire to leave things as they are. What is needed for this?

Take a piece of paper and write down the goal in the chosen area. For example: "I want to develop a strong relationship." Now divide the sheet into two columns with the following titles:

Old standards. What will happen in five years if I leave everything as it is?
New standards. What will happen in five years if I start working on myself in this area?

Now try to be as honest as possible and write down the detailed answers to these questions. In our example of strong relationships, old standards would include loneliness, lack of understanding, emotional instability, and so on. For new ones - emotional support, a pleasant pastime, a happy marriage.

So what standards do you want to live by?

3. Live by new standards. Today

There is no balance in life. Every moment is either a movement towards perfection or degradation.

Andrew Matthews

Now you know in which direction you need to move and what results await you at the end. At this stage, overwhelmed with emotions, we first begin to make plans to change the chosen area, but our enthusiasm quickly disappears.

To prove to yourself that your standards are truly a thing of the past, start changing your chosen area today, right now. The picture below is a great example of motivation for you.

To see multiple changes in a year, it is enough to change by only 1% today. Write to an old friend you haven't spoken to for a long time, do some exercises, ask about career opportunities at work. Do something every day that will bring you closer to your goal, even if just one step.

Start working on yourself and change your life for the better!