14 reasons to be happy when a woman earns more than a man

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

If a wife's high salary becomes a problem, her sources should not be sought in numbers.

There are at least a million texts in the world on the topic “What to do if a woman earns more than a man”. And in each of them, in different languages, advice is given on how to be, so as not to hurt this fragile male ego.

Such articles are always aimed at women who, it seems, should be ashamed of the fact that their work is in demand, that their work is no less serious than that of a man, and they move from the role of "decoration" in a team and with a husband to the status of a valuable employee …

The heroine of such a text, in addition to work, must also:

• pretend that her success is an accident, so as not to offend a partner;
• to make amends by tripling the efforts to maintain a household in order to show that she serves the family enough, does not act to her detriment;
• throw all your strength into strengthening the husband's ego in areas that do not relate to money;
• to inspire a spouse to earn more and “not sit on his neck” (as an option - “not to become his mother”);
• eventually quit a high-paying job because you have to stick to gender roles.

The high salary of a woman is always presented as a problem, although there is no problem. The answer to the question "What if the wife earns more than her husband?" one: to rejoice. And there are many reasons for this.

Why is it good for a man

1. Next to you is a very smart and purposeful woman

Employers prefer to hire men, so women are forced to accept lower wages.

So, if your wife got a good job with a high salary, this indicates that she is a really cool specialist - judging by the statistics, perhaps better than the male competitors applying for the same job.

2. The wife next to you is not because of the money

Obviously, if a spouse can provide for herself, then she is not with you because she will starve to death without you. Do not be in a hurry to rejoice, perhaps your marriage is reinforced by harmful stereotypes like "albeit inferior, but mine" or "who needs me now, I'm not 18". Or are you a really good person, this often happens.

3. If you lose your job, the world will not collapse

When one person brings money to a family, its economic well-being is unstable. If you lose your job, it will take some time to find a new job. And disability will lead to long-term financial problems, especially in the absence of insurance.

If both make good money, force majeure will worsen the financial situation in the family, but will not lead to disaster.

4. You don't have to be responsible for everything

Being the only breadwinner in the family is stressful, since the loss of a job or a domestic injury will leave not only you without money. The high salary of the wife allows you to redistribute this burden from two shoulders to four, and so it becomes much easier.

5. You have more opportunities for self-realization

Equal rights entail equal responsibilities. It is considered normal for a man to provide for his family, and a woman “looks for herself” for some time, for example, goes to courses and trainings. It works both ways.

True, this is not always possible precisely because of the gender difference in income: the family can live on your salary, but not very much on your wife's income. If your woman gets more than you, there are no such obstacles, improve as much as you like.

6. You are also given expensive gifts

Men are often outraged that they give a smartphone, and in return they receive conditional socks. And they overlook the fact that a woman often has nothing to save money to buy reciprocal gadgets. You will hardly feel prejudiced by finding a PlayStation under the tree instead of shaving gel.

7. You have an incentive for development and a reason for pride

When talking about salaries, it inevitably comes to competition and leadership in a pair. Maybe it's time to stop seeing family life as a competition? No one wins from the fact that you are constantly pulling the blanket over yourself and want your opinion to be decisive, even if it is wrong.

When someone is improving nearby and gaining new victories, this is a great incentive to develop, too, to grow together. In the end, the fruits of your work together are good for both of you, and the growing family budget is usually good news.

If you want to suppress your partner at any cost, perhaps you better go not to the registry office, but to a psychologist.

In addition, the wife's large income does not have to be embarrassed to hide, and you can brag about it. Perhaps the phrase "my wife earns more than me" in a man's company will cause ridicule. Just add "and more of you" to it and everything changes. Who's on horseback now?

Why is it good for a woman

1. You are definitely a very intelligent and purposeful woman

The road to a high-paying job for a woman is still not as easy as it seems. Despite the optimistic reports that Russia is the leader in the number of female leaders, the reality is a little different from what it says on paper.

Statistics are significantly improved at the expense of chief accountants. The position is considered typically female and at the same time "firing squad": an accountant can fall under a criminal article and answer with personal property for the dubious activities of the company, even if he did not know about it or could not influence what was happening.

Add to the list of school principals, kindergarten directors and heads of PR departments, and the list of top managers among women will turn out to be really extensive. However, when it comes to profitable areas, they are not very welcome there. For example, 52% of female IT executives face gender bias (statistics are not Russian, and there is no reason to believe that everything is better in Russia - on the contrary).

In a word, if you earn a lot, you are very cool, this is a reason for pride, not shame.

2. It is easier for you to ensure the safety of yourself and your children

Economic violence is a common way to control a woman and one of the abuser's tools. He will persuade his wife to leave work or change her to a low-paid one under various pretexts - from caring for her to persuading that her high salary humiliates his manhood. As a result, the victim finds himself in a situation where she has no means of subsistence at all, she becomes addicted.

A frequent companion here is reproductive violence, when an abuser forces a wife to give birth to a child. In this case, the woman is already responsible for two or more lives, she cannot leave and is forced to endure any attitude towards her, up to physical violence. High income makes it easier for you to get away from the person who makes your life miserable.

3. You do not need to ask for money "for tights"

In unrestrained patriarchal fantasies, men shower their hearth-keepers with banknotes, and they non-stop spend them on their own needs. In the harsh reality, not everyone succeeds in meeting a millionaire who does not count money. Most men (and even more so women) earn very modest income.

As a result, the income of two working adults is not always sufficient to provide a normal family life. In this situation, unnecessary spending really has to be justified, even if you take out bills from your wallet.

A high income allows you to more freely manage money and not feel remorse for every penny spent.

4. The world will not collapse if the husband loses his job

If your spouse is fired, you just continue to live in peace: you will have what to buy food, what to pay for housing and communal services and what to refuel your car. This state of affairs will save you a lot of nerve cells.

5. In case of divorce or death of your spouse, you will not stay on the street

Low or no income in a difficult situation can lead to great difficulties. If you earn good money, you can provide yourself and your children with housing, food, clothing. Money can help you create a safe space in which to experience emotional distress (and you cannot do without it in such situations) is much easier.

6. You can claim a higher quality of life

The joke about the fact that “if there are three cakes in the fridge of a family of four, then mom definitely doesn’t want sweets” is not a joke at all. Women often save on themselves if they can spend money on children and husbands. A stable high income allows more funds to be directed to health, quality food, massage and a beautician. As a result, you feel refreshed, more energized, and happier.

7. You are a good example for your children

You can persuade children to study well in order to achieve more. But when they see my mother's diploma with honors and the size of her salary, they will draw conclusions. A smart, ambitious mom is a great example, just like dad.

What does it mean

If one of the spouses earns a lot, it is good in any case, no matter what gender he is. Money may not be about happiness, but money helps create a safe space and improve the quality of life for the whole family.

If you see a problem that a woman earns more than a man, then the salary is not the problem. This could be:

1. Inconsistency with gender roles

Yes, in my head, like twice two is four, it pops up that the man is the breadwinner, and the woman is the keeper of the hearth. But gender roles are a social construct. In addition, if you look at the past, while the men hunted the mammoth, the women were engaged in gathering. Guess who came home with the loot more often?

2. Feelings of injustice

The idea that a wife earns more than her husband can be hard to come to terms with because of the stereotype that a woman cannot work as efficiently as a man. It seems that she takes someone else's place (perhaps yours), got to the position in some unknown way and does nothing at all, only receives a salary.

But this is not true. There are no significant differences in the structure of the male and female brain. Moreover, scientists have refuted the main argument of men who do not want to see women in leadership roles: fluctuations in hormones during the menstrual cycle do not affect cognitive performance. Therefore, nothing prevents the ladies from successfully coping with official duties and effectively managing the team.

3. Loss of control levers

Money means power. Not everyone has the strength and talents to influence something global, so they try to declare tyranny within the family, or at least get the illusion of control. The suspicion of competition as an attempt to take the reins of power can be added to this point.

4. Deceived expectations

The husband does not care how much his wife earns, but he expected that she would fully serve him in everyday life. The wife does not care how much her husband earns, but she works the same 8 hours and expects that he will take on half of the household responsibilities. He accuses her of careerism, she accuses him of being of no use. Quarrels do not stop, but what does the salary have to do with it.

Therefore, if you are seriously worried about the size of a woman's salary and you cannot rejoice, this issue should be resolved with a psychologist.