How to recognize a resident of the former USSR abroad

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Did it happen that in some overseas store our compatriot identified you and immediately began to speak Russian with you? And it is this our ability to define "ours" that is shocking. You didn't even open your mouth! How did he identify you from the crowd? You are dressed very European and behave differently. We have a special gift and it does not concern clothes, burnt skin on vacation, or love of alcohol. No, there are other reasons, and it is remarkably written about them in SNOB magazine.

Below you will find six main hypotheses of the "connectedness" of Russians and all post-Soviet people who see each other no matter what.

1. Post-Soviet person, when he is on vacation outside of postsovka, least of all wants to meet compatriots … The logic is clear: there are a lot of them and houses around. Well, if you have arrived somewhere, and there are all your own, it means that you have missed something, fell for the common bait, you will not be able to brag properly upon your return. At the sight of another Russian, almost each of us instinctively makes a grimace: well, I thought, I was the only one so unique, experienced, inventive, who had strayed from the herd. Well, this grimace, of course, makes the recognition final.

2. Herding. In the age of booking.com, TripAdvisor and anywayanyday, travel agencies are still buying from us. Not necessarily package, however "individual" - different travel agencies still send travelers to the same places, the owners of which fed our agents and operators. It is extremely rare to meet professionals in the travel industry who have had the imagination to come up with some unusual routes and establish the connections necessary for their retail sale - there is not much business sense in this. As a result, “ours” in any place where travel agencies are sent are always enough to provide contrast with other travelers, recognition and associated discomfort (see paragraph 1).

3. The gait of a post-Soviet man. Perhaps its closest analogue is the pimp walk of an African American from a disadvantaged area. Or plastic wolf from "Well, wait!". The feet of our man in every possible way demonstrate his self-confidence. Moving forward, if he does not radiate danger (for this most of us lack muscle mass), then he sends a clear signal: do not put a finger in my mouth, do not even try to deceive me. Even a clerk, even, scary to say, a hipster strives to walk like this when he feels a threat emanating from an alien external environment. I must say that the post-Soviet gait is not only instantly recognizable, but seems to provoke all sorts of crooks and street sellers of unnecessary things: these guys have seen everything in life and accept the challenge.

4. Photographic habits. In a Russian couple on vacation, the man is almost always in charge of the camera. He knows all her settings and flaunts this knowledge, first of all in front of his girlfriend. Perhaps she also knows how to shoot, it is likely that she is better than her man, but she does not show it, but on the contrary, pretends to confuse the buttons - she is so brought up: you do not need to create complexes in a man, then you will have to pay for this. It is better to take flirtatious poses, portray a mermaid, build cute faces, stretch out lips - except for post-Soviet women, no one else does this. This behavior also dictates the popularity of services like Odnoklassniki. Photos like “I am against the background of the Colosseum” or “I am bathing in a waterfall” are an obligatory genre, part of our unique national culture. And yes, photographs against the background of the hotel, which can be shown to relatives and colleagues, are also ours, as our semi-Asian nature speaks in us. At the same time, you cannot confuse post-Soviet people with the Chinese, who are also filmed like that.

5. Recklessness. If, in front of your eyes, someone jumped from a cliff, on which it was forbidden to climb, - this is our person. Actually, in one Asian national park I came across a sign that said in English Do Not Climb the Rocks - and below, in Russian: "Do not jump off the rocks." Deep down, we despise not only rules, but dangers and our very lives. In addition, we work so much and in such an acidic environment that we have already ceased to notice the everyday manifestations of this very recklessness in our own countries. Abroad, you can see them: we commit reckless acts on a routine basis. And not only we risk our lives or get drunk like pigs, but we also buy some extravagant items with our last money, so that later, after bringing them home or receiving a parcel in a couple of weeks, look at the acquisition in bewilderment: what was it that bothered me so much? Why do I need this?

6. Excessive mimicry … Who in a nightclub - of any kind - best suits their dress code? Who is most diligently avoiding the main tourist route, but meets in places whose "authenticity" is described in the texts of experienced Russians that are easily found by Yandex? Who abroad reads English books, turning the pages too slowly for an American or an Englishman? Who, having chosen wine, tastes it according to all the rules, spinning the glass and sniffing the bouquet for a long time? Our, of course, our man, infinitely dear and reminiscent of James Bond from the anecdote: the parachute drags after the spy all over the Arbat.