The Secret Ingredient for Extraordinary Psychological Resilience

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Most of us believe that you can build character only by going through difficult life situations. However, according to psychologists, the opposite approach is needed to develop real psychological endurance.

Some people have enviable endurance and poise. Usually we imagine them as such "tough nuts" who have hardened themselves to such an extent that any difficulties that life throws at them bounces off them.

If we consider psychological endurance from this point of view, then it is easy to assume how you can develop this quality in yourself. Set hard-to-reach goals for yourself, leave your comfort zone, constantly fight with yourself, then any difficulties will be of no concern to you.

But is it really so? Many psychologists believe that the opposite approach is needed to develop true psychological stamina. Don't try to hide yourself behind three layers of armor. All you really need is love and inspiration.

Devotion and enthusiasm can help you survive failure

American sociologist, writer and journalist David Brooks covered this topic in his column in The New York Times. He wrote about college students. Many believe that in order for the younger generation to learn how to cope with life's difficulties, its representatives need to fill a couple of bumps themselves, and not hide behind their parents who are forever taking care of them.

Brooks, in turn, admits that overprotection really does not lead to anything good. However, in his opinion, young people are negatively influenced not so much by the lack of difficulties as by the lack of purpose in life. It is the goal that helps people go through fire and water.

People who admire us for their resilience are not really tough. They are passionately and sincerely devoted to their cause, goal or loved one. Devotion and inspiration help such people survive setbacks, cope with pain and betrayal.

David Brooks

Resilience has nothing to do with fear of failure

Positive psychology expert Christine Carter expresses a similar point of view with more practical examples. In her opinion, we are making a gross mistake by simply trying to cultivate resilience. This approach is too perfectionist, it is not related to intrinsic motivation.

The abstract desire to never give up and always be perfect has nothing to do with real resilience. What we really need to cultivate in ourselves is the fervor and enthusiasm that allows us to get through even the most difficult times.

Christine Carter

According to Christine Carter, if you are a teacher or have children of your own, and you want to develop psychological resilience in them, the first thing you need to do is forget about what you want from them. Instead, focus on what inspires them and keep them inspired.

In other words, if you want to achieve the psychological stamina you desire, you first need to find your true passion, purpose, calling, or true love.