Why it is better to drink, and not play sports

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Can you combine sports and alcohol consumption? Any athlete will tell you not to do this. Any drunk will answer you: "Yes, easily!" Life experience suggests that sooner or later you still have to make a choice. And in any case, your choice will be correct …

At a certain moment in life, each person faces a passive choice: what to do in his free time from work and family. Certainly, each of us has such an occupation: someone just lies on the couch in front of the TV or with a book, someone works out in the gym, for someone it is hunting, fishing, a summer residence, and for someone - traveling where away.

But there are two more global and incompatible concepts - alcohol and sports. You can, of course, combine them in moderation, but then you should not expect any results either there or there. If the choice is between a serious hobby, either alcohol or sports, then, according to statistics, in our society the majority chooses the former. And he does the right thing, after all, drinking is much better, isn't it? And here's six proofs …

You will not break corporate traditions and will not be considered a black sheep in the team

Drinking at a corporate party with colleagues, and even more so with the bosses - this is not discussed. You don't want problems and unnecessary questions. After all, you are an outgoing person and need to be on the same page with everyone in order not to be seen as a smug hermit. Well, what kind of sport can it be when you "took the goat" through pubs until five in the morning? And even more so why? You are not a robot, you can skip it or postpone it for later - team building is more important. So what if you accepted the majority behavior model? You are the soul of the company, and you are loved and respected. Is not it?

You don't care if gyms are open on Saturdays: you have a legal hangover after Friday

In general, why is it possible to drink only on holidays? Who invented this? You earn hard and nervous, but honest work and have every right to relax on Friday. It's only one evening a week. What a night. And then how can it be without the traditional "goat" until five in the morning, because it is so difficult to stop on time …

And why limit yourself? Anyway, tomorrow is a day off, and you can sleep off normally. But you are an active participant, not a passive observer, and on Monday you are always a cucumber! Fifty-two Fridays a year. Well, cool! Give up all this fun for the sake of some ghostly healthy lifestyle? Oh no. Nobody will understand.

You can drink like a normal man, not like these athletes: they get drunk like children

By drinking alcohol on a regular basis, you train your body in a certain way to respond, process and dispose of it. And given the fact that in our society all business is done in restaurants, what is the real use of your workouts in life? Well, you will not sign a contract for a joint jogging or squeezing a barbell - just imagine how stupid it looks. And how to find out the true intentions of a person without getting him drunk. How do they say: if a person does not drink, then he is either sick or a bastard? Well, doesn't your rich life experience tell you that this is the truth? Or a silly stereotype? No, what a stereotype, really. Yes, and a good excuse.

Expansion of consciousness through alcohol is not as boring as monotonous workouts

Well, what is the life of an athlete? I came to the gym or the stadium, changed into clean clothes (at best) and worked. Plow physically like a plantation slave. Either it is a matter of intimate conversations and psychological experiments with a bottle of good whiskey. Or vodka. Well, or beer, but then you need a box. This is more like the life of masters, not slaves.

In addition, all sports activities are usually predictable: training, competition, training again. Expanding your consciousness with alcohol, you can never predict for sure how it will end. And it can be very different - it's fun! And all athletes are boring, there is nothing to even talk with them about. Although, maybe it is not interesting for them with you? No, this is out of the question, you are the soul of the company.

Don't bother yourself with concepts like aerobic and anaerobic drinking

Have you ever been in the company of two runners or, God forbid, triathletes? Have you tried to understand any of their conversation? Heart rate zones, aerobic and anaerobic loads, TANM, VO2 max, some kind of intervals, not to mention tights, fartleks, wetsuits and cutting bike frames. Just talk, which is better: Garmin or Suunto, Sram or Shimano.

Plump, of course, is much easier: you are open to everything, you are ready to try everything, and in one evening. Combine the incompatible? Easily! But there will be experience. And such concepts as aerobic and anaerobic booze simply do not exist. Why bother with all this in your head, which will endure everything anyway? The number of nerve cells in the human brain is surely enough for our age. Probably. Well, that should be enough.

After all, sports are much more traumatic for humans than alcohol

Well, there is nothing to explain. If you are drinking with friends in a pub, you will not be crushed by a barbell and you will not break both your legs in a bicycle blockage. If we talk about the bath, then there is already enough load. Have you tried push-ups in the steam room? Better not: it is dangerous for the heart. And to plump and relax is what the doctor ordered.

But even if you do without injury, how will you deal with DOMS? This is not a hangover for you: "ppraz 100 grams per morning", and will take it off as if by hand. The main thing is, firstly, to have a hangover with what you got drunk, and secondly, not to get carried away, so as not to accidentally go into a binge. And even if you leave, then nothing: there is still Sunday in reserve, and your work is hard and nervous. And you know all these rules well, don't you? You have the same experience.

Thus, the choice between alcohol and sports is clear. It is much more pleasant to come home after work and have a drink in your favorite chair than to trudge to the gym or, God forbid, to the stadium and amuse the young people there, traditionally sitting on the sidelines and sipping an evening beer. At least normal people won't see you in the gym.

The path of an athlete is work, sweat, pain and not always the expected result, which means disappointment. The path of an athlete is anger at oneself and perseverance in work, it is a willingness to be rejected and rejected by the majority, and this is happiness in victory over oneself. Just? Over yourself? Now it is definitely clear that sport is for masochists and perverts.

Have you ever been told about any endorphins? What are they and how do you touch them? Another illusion, a lure to sell you trendy sneakers of the latest model. Forget it. And there is no need to rock the boat - it is safer to be a gray mass, and not an exception to the rule. It is obvious. Or not?