10 mistakes that prevent us from changing

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

How difficult it is to develop new habits! Every day you have to overcome yourself, fight your desires. If all else fails, we get frustrated and blame ourselves for the lack of willpower and determination. In fact, the wrong strategy is to blame. Find out 10 serious mistakes that prevented you from changing your habits!

By avoiding these mistakes, you accelerate the formation of good habits and give them a firm footing in your life.

1. Rely only on willpower

Many people, during the period of inspiration, plan major changes in their lives, relying only on their willpower. For example, you promise yourself to eat more healthy foods, exercise every day, and walk more.

But willpower is a finite resource, and the more you use it, the less will remain. As a result, after two days of healthy food, workouts in the gym and hour-long walks, you "burn out", buy ready-to-cook foods for dinner again, and watch TV shows instead of walking.

Instead of relying on your willpower for everything, start developing small good habits.

You don't have to spend a lot of willpower on them, and when they become habits, you don't need any willpower at all. So, gradually, you can acquire all the good habits that you wanted.

2. Big steps instead of small ones

It seems to us that only great achievements are recognized and it makes no sense to set small goals for ourselves. Walking for two hours a day is a habit you can be proud of, and 15 minutes of walking seems to be not an achievement at all.

Three times a week, a full workout in the gym instead of half an hour of dumbbell workout at home, only healthy food instead of including more vegetables and fruits in your regular diet.

Nevertheless, as practice shows, big goals are fulfilled for two or three days, and then everything returns to normal.

So forget about gigantic plans and feel free to start small. Instead of a strict diet, replace sweet and flour snacks with apples and nuts, instead of walking for two hours, spend 15 minutes outdoors and do not forget to praise yourself for your progress. This is how you create positive associations and gradually develop the desired habits.

3. Ignore the influence of the environment

To ignore the influence of the things that surround us, and rely only on willpower is simply stupid. For example, if you want to get into the habit of eating healthy, get rid of delicious junk food in the refrigerator.

Don't just hope that you have enough motivation to take an apple instead of a donut. Just get rid of donuts and your chances will go up a lot. Yes, and put food in small plates, this trick also helps you eat less.

In order not to get stuck in social networks, remove social networking applications from your smartphone, and if you want to quit smoking, try not to drink alcohol in the company of smokers for the first time, because this way the chance of breaking out is greatly increased.

Change the environment and your behavior will change.

Whatever habits you want to create, identify what in the environment is getting in your way and what can help you. And do not neglect any opportunity to help your willpower with some material changes.

4. Get rid of old habits instead of starting new ones

Bad habits are hard enough to overcome, and it is much better to develop a new positive habit than to get rid of an old negative one.

For example, in his book, Dr. Robert Maurer described how he helped one patient quit smoking. He asked her to send him a voicemail whenever she felt a craving for cigarettes. As a result, the woman realized what the main reason for smoking was for her and overcame her addiction.

So you can replace your bad habits with good ones, for example, instead of a cigarette, accustom yourself to breathing exercises or short warm-ups.

5. Blame lack of motivation for failure

Motivation is similar to a good mood - it is there, then it is not. And don't rely on motivation alone - you will be disappointed. Of course, you can cheer yourself up every day with motivational books and videos, but the day will come when nothing will help increase it.

Instead of raising motivation, which is usually enough for one time, you need to make it so that it is not needed. As Leo Babauta says, "Make the action so simple that you just can't give it up."

For example, the goal is “to run one circle in the stadium”, or “to eat two apples a day” - you simply cannot think of an excuse for yourself.

6. Not understanding the power of incentives

Every habit is based on the same neurological circuit - the brain reacts to a stimulus and you automatically perform some action.

No habit can exist without stimulus, and if you want to get rid of bad habits, you need to find and remove the stimuli that trigger them. Rather, not eliminate, but replace with other stimuli that will cause good habits.

For example, alcohol is often the incentive for smoking. You can replace your evening bottle of beer with cycling with a player or some exciting new hobby that cannot be combined with smoking.

7. Belief that information leads to action

Power is not in knowledge, but in knowledge and action. An idea cannot be useful by itself, its embodiment brings benefit.

For example, you read this article and decided to start gradually changing your habits. But if you don’t do anything, the information will be useless to you.

Read the tips - try to apply them. Less rationality, more emotion - make change synonymous with pleasure for you, and no change synonymous with pain.

8. Focus on abstract goals instead of concrete behavior

You have read a book or attended a seminar and are full of motivation and energy to "start a business", "lose weight", "make more money."

Yes, you have good goals and the belief that everything will work out, but there are no specific, clear plans. So create them.

You have a desire, keep it in your head, but the specific steps that you will take towards your goal should come to the fore.

9. Strive to change behavior permanently, not for a short time

Thinking about changes in your life and putting them into practice, you should not remember the past or think about the distant future.

Concentrate on what is happening now, on what you can do today. One step after another.

The very word "forever" does not provide any motivation. A fixed period of time that can be calculated works much better. “Seven days since I don't smoke”, “For seven months I walk every day in the evenings”, “For seven years I go out for a run every morning”.

You are more likely to not break your chain of days with a good habit: “Lasted two weeks, but now I'll give up? Oh no!.

10. Thinking Change Is Difficult

It’s much easier to admit that you don’t have enough willpower or make some other excuses for yourself than to change something in your life.

But when you have a basis for change, such as small good habits, you can no longer justify yourself.

Decide what you want to change right now. Pick one good habit and start implementing it.