13 tips for starting a conversation right

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

How good do you think you are? How long have you had awkward pauses in a conversation? A few tips in this resource will help you become a better conversationalist, and awkward pauses will become a thing of the past. Being a good conversationalist is just a combination of different communication methods. Body language, a few tricks, and you can have a casual conversation with anyone.

Start with a question

Do you want people to remember you? Ask him an interesting question and listen to him carefully. This will give you the opportunity to make friends.

Find out someone else's opinion

For example:

• Could you recommend a good cocktail for me?
• Do you know the city well? Can you tell me a good restaurant?
• Where did you buy this phone / accessory / clothing?
• What do you think of this party?

Applying an economic concept to a conversation

Imagine that your conversation is a bank. If you have a lot of investments, then things are going well. If loans are more than investments, then something should be changed. Transferring this metaphor to communication, we get this.

Emotional investments

1. Agree with the interlocutor
2. Correct body language
3. Use the name of the interlocutor
4. Tell jokes
5. Encourage the other person's ideas
6. Listen attentively
7. Asking for an opinion

Emotional loans

1. Disagree with the interlocutor
2. Wrong body language
3. Talk a lot about yourself
4. Lie
5. Flattery
6. Vulgar and personal questions

Imagine starting your conversation with zero balance and do whatever it takes to increase it!

Copy body language

The practice of copying body language can be very helpful. Did your interlocutor cross his legs? Cross yours. Put your hands on the table? Do the same. Everything is very simple. Timing is also very important. Wait for the moment:

• When the other person tells you something interesting
• When you wonder
• When the other person is proud of something

And then copy it. The person will think that you empathize with him and it will be great if this is true.

How to talk about yourself and not be terribly boring

You can be an incredibly charismatic and interesting person. But, people are simply not interested in hearing about others, no matter how wonderful you are. If you continue to follow our economic concept, then you must make an emotional investment. Make the interlocutor feel emotions and he will be very interested in talking with you.

Change the depth of the conversation

Do you know the proverb: small minds discuss people, medium - events, and great - ideas? Use this. Start small and play a trick on someone, then get the other person's opinion on an event, and then move on to ideas related to that event. For example:

Introduction: Hi, how was your day?

Event: Are you planning something for Valentine's Day with Katya?

Idea: I saw an article on the internet about how we perverted Valentine's Day compared to its traditional meaning.

Ask the other person to be interesting

Each person is interesting in its own way, but very few people actually reveal themselves. So give them a chance to open up and they will only think about you. Here's a simple example:

Tell me something interesting about yourself.

This is a great conversation starter that will make you look more attentive and at the same time give you the opportunity to learn something really interesting about the person.

How to ask people what they are doing

How do you spend your time when not …?

Instead of a void at the end, there should be something that you know about the person. Here are some examples:

How do you spend your time when you are not writing your exciting blog?

How do you spend your time when you are not on Facebook?

How do you spend your time when you don't go to the gym?

Be a good listener

If you asked me for one piece of advice on how to become a good conversationalist, I would stop there. This is the most important part. Listen to the person. Be genuinely interested in what he is talking about. Lead the other person's story with your questions. Take an interest in him and he will be interested in you in return.

The pace of the conversation

Basically, a fast paced conversation is a sign of nervousness and excitement, while a moderate pace is a sign of confidence. Therefore, try to speak at a moderate pace, but if your interlocutor speaks at a fast pace, copy him and speak as well.

Change the topic of conversation correctly

This happened to everyone: you are discussing something with your acquaintance, but then a third person rushes into your conversation and turns the whole conversation in his direction. This is terribly annoying. But, only if you are doing it wrong. You should make an emotional investment at the end of your monologue. It will distract attention and you won't look like an idiot changing the subject. Example:

Chris: My son is a very good footballer.

Me: Cool! You once talked about where he trained. My son recently earned a black belt in Karate and is leaving for Korea on a student exchange program. Didn't your son train in Korea? Can you give me some tips?

In this dialogue, the emotional investment was a compliment to Chris and his son. I changed the topic of the conversation to the one I needed, doing it right.

Give the right compliments

Compliments are a very powerful tool when used correctly. The correct way to use compliments is to make them about what the person is proud of. For example:

• If the person is in good shape and it is obvious that they spend a lot of time in the gym, compliment their figure.
• If the person is successful in their career, compliment their creativity, business acumen, or intelligence.

Do not compliment the qualities of people if they have not achieved it on their own. Don't tell a beautiful girl that she is beautiful. She already knows it.

Unite friends

If you are at a party or social event, you are unlikely to be standing in one place. Most likely, you will walk from one group of acquaintances to another. If you see people you know in different groups, don't be afraid to invite them to talk together. Do it jokingly and without stress. And then your friends will remember you as a very friendly person.