5 tips for couples starting a life together

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Mating with a partner is a big step. So serious that sometimes its scale distracts from the small, but at the same time important details of life together. There are at least five mistakes you shouldn't make when you start living together.

1. Don't delay organizing your belongings until the last moment

It is worth dealing with all your belongings before moving to a shared apartment, where there may not be enough space for everything. Tidy up and decide what things really matter to you. Leave room for new things that you will acquire along with the love of your life.

Divide things into four categories:

1. Save.
2. Sell.
3. Give.
4. Throw it out.

Save the clothes you have worn over the past year and essential furnishings that you are not planning to buy anytime soon. Sell something that has value but has become superfluous or just tired of you. Present clothes and shoes that you have not worn for a long time, books and anything that is not worth the effort that will require finding a buyer. Take the rest to the trash heap.

Do not forget to get the opinion of your loved one before you get rid of something.

2. Don't close your eyes to flaws

These can be both minor and very serious problems. Snoring can be the obvious reason for a breakup. But drug abuse can go unnoticed until the moment you find yourself in the same territory. The point here is how well you know each other.

In some cases, a few conversations are enough to answer questions such as:

• Are you able to shower together, or do you prefer to retire while grooming?
• How will your work schedules intersect?
• Who will be in charge of the bills?

Assess what weaknesses your loved one has? Are you ready to work on these moments?

It also happens that your half already has a child. Then you have to decide if you are ready to become a part of his life.

Or maybe we are talking about your weak points. In this case, don't be defensive. Try to look at yourself from the other side and decide what concessions and changes in yourself you are ready to make.

But do not hope that everything will be resolved by itself in the new place.

3. Don't assume that you don't have to deal with finances

The money issue is one of the main sources of tension and controversy in every home. Yours will not be an exception. Although you do not legally owe money to your partner, it is better to share information about your income with each other in order to better plan expenses. The same goes for debt.

Probably, the one who coped better with his own will be in charge of the general accounts. If your favorite is a spender, set up an automatic transfer to your account of at least the part that will go towards housing payments, loan coverage or future joint purchases.

Don't worry about becoming a nanny. Treat this as an investment of your time and knowledge without future conflicts.

4. Do not assign all household chores to just one person

Many couples make this mistake. As a rule, a mountain of dishes is washed by the one who is the first to feel sick at the sight of it. It’s unfair, but it’s very easy to get stuck in such unbalanced scenarios of living together. Before moving in, discuss equality in the household.

• Who takes out the trash?
• Who is washing the dishes? (Often this is someone who does not cook. But it may be easier for someone to completely take over the kitchen, and for another - the bathroom and toilet.)
• Who is fixing the closet when it starts to creak?

All of these tasks have nothing to do with what gender you are or who makes the most money. It is better if it is done by someone who is less difficult.

As a last resort, if none of you wants to do cleaning, you can order cleaning services by entering this cost item into the general budget, and never swear over dust.

5. Don't pretend you're married

This is a serious blunder. Many people see cohabitation as the first step to marriage. For many, this is true. Couples living in the same area have a great opportunity to test each other's willingness to compromise, generosity, emotional, sexual and financial compatibility at the household level. All of this is priceless.

But the fact that you started living in the same square does not mean that you will definitely get married!

Avoid creating unhealthy dependencies on each other. Your belongings do not belong to your loved one, and his things are not yours. When making decisions, you do not always have to consider the interests of your partner. You can try to make something bigger out of these relationships, but you can always break them if they do not suit you. This is the meaning of your life together, isn't it?