8 rules you shouldn't break on a first date

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

By following these rules, you will greatly increase your chances of a second date after your first date.

The first date is a bit like a college entrance exam or job interview. Of course, we are not talking about the main event in your life - all the fun is just beginning. Nevertheless, a successful first date is a kind of pass that gives the right to continue the game and reach the next level. To make a good impression, try to follow a few simple rules.

Rule # 1. Don't get drunk until you lose your heart rate

Moderate amounts of alcohol are the perfect seed for any soulful conversation. The key word in this sentence is moderation.

Of course, there is a place for different stories in life. Sometimes a successful joint binge on the first date becomes the key to a happy and strong relationship for many years. However, this development of events is rather an exception to the rule.

The reality is that if your companion (or companion) went overboard on the first date and behaves like a cheeky monster, you are unlikely to want to get to know the interlocutor better, even if you have a person of a big and dazzling soul in front of you. One may simply not have time to (and then not want to) see the inner beauty behind a veil of intoxicated revelations that seem appropriate only to the speaker himself. In fact, they represent the usual drunken delirium.

Rule # 2. Do not be rude to the taxi driver and do not flirt with the waitress

On the first date, we are often driven by the desire to please our interlocutor. As a rule, in the company of someone we like, we behave a little differently than usual. We hope to make a good impression and be appreciated.

But so that the first date does not become the last, it is not enough to observe the elementary rules of politeness only in relation to your companion. Often, a conclusion about what you really are can be made by communicating with others - waiters, cloakroom attendants, sellers, taxi drivers and other people who were nearby at this moment.

Even if in relation to your companion you behave like a London dandy, any rudeness towards the service personnel can be perceived as a litmus test, indicating your natural bad manners. The same applies to girls. Even if you are a languid beauty with the smile of a Cheshire cat, this is not an excuse and not at all a reason to be rude to the cloakroom attendant.

Another notoriously bad dating strategy is flirting with other people. Believe that your companion (companion) expects that you will show signs of attention to him (her), and not to the man at the next table or the waitress taking the order.

Rule # 3. Don't just talk about yourself - ask questions

A date does not mean a monologue, but a dialogue. Any conversation requires feedback. If your interlocutor speaks only about himself, does not ask any questions and has already managed to present to you his detailed biography with a description of childhood illnesses, adult allergies and the shortcomings of a best friend, perhaps this indicates his obsession with himself (or banal selfishness), and also about complete disinterest in your person.

A date for such a companion, like any meeting, is an opportunity to find free ears. It's up to you to decide what suits you and what doesn't. But you hardly want to waste your time on a person who only wants to be listened to.

The root of the problem may lie in a total mismatch of temperaments or in an elementary lack of interest in the opposite person.

Rule # 4. Keep the conversation focused on your ex

A rich past is a good source of topics for conversation on a first date, if you don't get on the slippery slope of discussing former affections. The topic of exes is generally sensitive, and many couples never came to a consensus about whether to discuss their previous relationship.

If you can still discuss this topic, then starting a conversation about your ex on the first date is bad manners. In the long run, this tactic is quite a failure.

If you speak disrespectfully about your ex, then the interlocutor may have several reasonable questions at once: "Why were you even with him, if everything is so bad?" In addition, the description of a tragic painful breakup is unlikely to do without surging negative emotions that neither you nor your interlocutor need on the first date.

Rule # 5. Don't show up on your first date with a girlfriend or boyfriend

It would seem obvious: if you are called on a date, it is implied that you will come alone or alone. Nevertheless, half of my interlocutors admitted that in their lives there were cases when that same girl came on a date not alone, but with a friend, and the desired young man came to a meeting in the company of several friends.

Life is an interesting thing. Perhaps your destiny is not just the one who invited you on a date after a fleeting acquaintance, but his friend who unexpectedly found himself in the same bar that evening. But if you are called out on a date, you are expected to come to the meeting. So if you want to continue the party and get an invitation to a second date, it might be worth leaving your army of friends hanging out without you.

Rule # 6. Don't spend your entire date with your phone

We live in a changing world of gadgets, where smartphones have triumphed over our attention and completely captured our consciousness. But the romance of a first date involves letting go of that momentary need and not grabbing your phone at the slightest hint of vibration.

Imagine that you have asked a girl out on a date, and she is only passionate about checking chats in instant messengers, putting likes on Instagram and reading other people's statuses on Facebook. Not very nice, right? All this, like any urgent questions, can wait a couple of hours when your personal life is at stake. Dating has its limitations, and if you decide to go to big sports, then play by the rules.

Rule # 7. Don't act like a freak

Recently, an acquaintance of mine in paints told me about an unforgettable meeting with a pretty girl who on the first date showed herself from a slightly strange side.

At the bar, the girl constantly ordered shots of tequila and soaked in obscene jokes. Then she began to unbutton the guy's shirt and said that in general she was ready to go "for fun."

Surprisingly, the guy was not ready for such a rapid development of events. He ordered a taxi to leave the bar, as the girl had already practically undressed him in public. In the taxi, the lady showed in every possible way that she was ready for anything right now, but for some reason my friend politely refused her.

The girl got terribly angry, began to insult him, hit him on the cheek. As soon as the taxi stopped at his house, she went out with the guy and proudly announced that she would not just give up and leave.

Perhaps for some, such a girlish pressure is a real dream, but practice has shown that not all guys want such a development on the first date. The agreement of the parties can be reached only by mutual desire.

Rule # 8. Don't talk too much or beg for gifts

Do not take the first date as the last chance to speak up and be heard. There is absolutely no need to overwhelm the interlocutor with your problems and complex storylines from the life of your friends and relatives.

An interesting conversation means having fun stories, but don't put the other person in a situation where, after the first date, he knows too much about you.

Another important point is that you do not need to demonstrate your consumer essence by begging for gifts and ordering everything that is most expensive in a restaurant.

The first date is by no means the last chance to come off, not an attraction of gifts and not a demonstration of the available benefits. This is just an opportunity to get to know each other and get to know each other better. A man who feels like he was seen as a cash cow will run away faster than you can think of a second date.

It would seem that we have listed quite banal and obvious wisdom. However, not everyone around them knows these rules, and if they do, they do not always follow them. But in vain!