How to prevent fear of success from getting in the way of your goals

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Sometimes we ourselves become our own worst enemies. Fear of success leads us to sabotage our own work and miss out on rare opportunities. A life hacker will help you understand if you have this fear and tame it.

What are you most afraid of? When answering this question, the fear of success is unlikely to come to your mind. And it is completely in vain, because in fact many of us are afraid not to fail, namely to succeed in any business. And one by one they lose the chance to change their life for the better.

If you think that this is not about you, do not jump to conclusions.

Symptoms of Fear of Success

Unlike many other phobias, we are rarely aware of the fear of success. This is precisely his cunning.

If most of the statements below work for you, the reason for your failure is your fear of success.

• You don't finish what you started all the time.
• You talk a lot about what you are going to do, but you don't take action.
• You are working on several projects at the same time without properly concentrating on any of them.
• Your list of New Year's promises has the same items year after year.
• You are often self-critical.
• Distraction and procrastination are your best friends.
• You don't really like your job.
• In situations where you are about to achieve success, something always goes wrong.
• You feel guilty for any, even the smallest, achievements you have, if your friends, relatives or colleagues have not achieved the same.
• You don't tell anyone about your success.

Therapist, coach and author of the popular creativity blog Mark McGuinness identifies three main types of fear of success. Depending on which one you are facing, you can choose an action strategy that will help overcome this fear.

Varieties of fear of success

1. Fear of not coping with success

As bestselling author Hugh McLeod notes, Success is more complex than failure., it is harder to achieve success than to fail. To some extent, we are more comfortable staying in not the most pleasant, but familiar conditions. To be successful is to follow a path that has not been trodden. On it you will receive close attention and criticism from others, more pressure and more responsibility. And some small (or not so) anxious part of you clearly would rather not risk it.

How to overcome it

Olga Bezborodova practicing psychologist, systems therapist, specialist of the Center for Consulting and System Solutions

A person who is haunted by this fear focuses more on their experiences, fear of responsibility and less on possible success. His task is to set goals correctly, gain access to internal resources and believe in himself.

Remember: in reality, everything is not as scary as your negative fantasies tell you. If you have the strength to get through the tough times, you can do it too. Yes, you have to change, learn new things. Just remember, you are flexible and creative enough to do this. And if you still have doubts, remind yourself of the additional resources that will bring you success:

• you will become more confident in yourself;
• you will gain useful connections;
• you will make more money;
• you will form a good reputation that will open more and more doors for you.

2. Fear of getting worse

He is well known to representatives of creative professions. It is about them that they often say: "written out", "burned out", "not the same." Nobody wants to be successful at that price. However, if your achievements are seen by the general public, someone will undoubtedly say unpleasant things about you. Including - that you are "not the same."

How to overcome it

• First, accept the fact that you cannot please everyone at once. No successful person has escaped evil tongues.
• Secondly, you yourself must clearly understand what you want from yourself in terms of work. Make a list of signs for yourself that will tell you that you are "burned out." And may he always be at your fingertips. If you start to doubt, just look into it and check if you really strayed from the right path. Let your own ideas be a guide for you, and not other people's speculations.

Your endeavors are only your business. How can others know how to make it better? Constantly looking back at the opinions of other people, you will not only deviate from the chosen path, but also get lost altogether. Your own point of view and line of behavior are the main guidelines on the approaches to success.

Olga Bezborodova

3. Fear of losing yourself

Unlike the previous fear, this fear is not about your job, but about your personality. If you experience it, you worry that you will change and your loved ones and friends will not recognize and accept the new you. Yes, this fear has some basis. You can really be arrogant. Or your loved ones will simply start to envy you. Unfortunately, this also happens.

But it all depends on you. After all, if you are comfortable with everything, then why change? Moreover, to change does not mean to magically turn into a completely different person. This is a much more complicated process. Change can only enrich your personality.

Any new experience changes us. Here we always take a certain risk: what suited us before may no longer suit us now. Change, life experience is the price of our growing up.

Olga Bezborodova

How to overcome it

Think of changing yourself as building your character. You are developing, now you can give more to this world. In addition, you can try yourself in roles that are unfamiliar to you - and they do not have to be negative.

When the winds change course, some build walls, and some build windmills.

Chinese proverb

At the same time, no one bothers you to remain the very good guy that your close people are used to seeing. Spend more time with them, and you will feel as if you are taking off a new fancy outfit and putting on your old favorite jeans. It's all the same you, just in a different "suit". And remember: the more such "costumes" you have, the richer your life and wider opportunities.

This is how, without unnecessary psychoanalysis, you can overcome the inner strength that makes you give up all the good things that happen in your life. Do you know other recipes to help you cope with your fear of success? Share them in the comments.