3 reasons why you're still lonely

1. You don't respect yourself

How much others respect and admire you is proportional to how much you respect yourself. If you take care of yourself mentally, emotionally, and physically, other people will also strive to take care of you.

If you don't believe me, try taking care of yourself for at least a month. Exercise and eat healthy foods. Sleep a lot. Work hard and plan your life ahead of time. Communicate with people for fun, not for your own gain. Give up bad habits. Be open about your thoughts and don't expect anything in return. Share with others just like that. Don't take rejection and criticism to heart.

It's difficult. But if you want to build a relationship with an emotionally mature person, you yourself must first become that person.

2. You have unrealistic expectations

Some people cannot build relationships because they expect something from a partner, but are not ready to offer anything in return. As an example, imagine an unemployed balding man who lies on the couch in front of the TV all day long and at the same time complains that all the women he likes are unable to appreciate his spiritual qualities and therefore reject him.

Other people are ready to contribute to the relationship, but at the same time they want the partner to fully meet their needs and meet absolutely all expectations. An example is a young, well-groomed, educated woman who periodically starts a relationship, but breaks up with all partners. With one - because they have different musical tastes, with the other - because he defended his Ph. D. in philology, which is impractical. Etc.

Understand that each of us has flaws. And those with whom we meet, too. This is fine.

Don't try to find someone without flaws. Look for someone whose flaws are comparable to your own.

Learn to accept other people's negative sides and fight your imperfections.

3. You don't know how to build intimate relationships

There are people who, at first glance, are good at everything - smart, interesting, educated, beautiful, talented, successful, active - but they are lonely nonetheless. They periodically go on dates and even meet with someone, but they fail to build a long-term relationship. In such cases, the key most often lies in the fact that they do not understand what intimacy is.

A happy relationship requires a deep emotional connection between partners.

It is not enough just to have fun together; you also need to be able to open up and feel the other person.

If this is your problem, try redefining your perspective on relationships. This is not another line on your to-do list or resume. Relationships cannot be measured objectively, such as the number of interesting conversations or time spent together.

Learn to accept and be aware of your own deepest experiences, because without it you will never be able to achieve the level of emotional closeness with your partner necessary for a successful relationship.