Why you shouldn't rely on self-control

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

We often try to resist different temptations with the help of willpower and self-control, but psychologists say that this is not the best way to get rid of temptations.

Vox.com science columnist Brian Resnick spoke about common misconceptions about self-control. Lifehacker publishes a translation of his article.

We usually think that in order to change something in ourselves, we need to work hard. It seems to us that people who have developed willpower find it easier to deal with various temptations. But people with self-control do not start a fight.

This theory first appeared in a study published in 2011 in the Journal of Personal and Social Psychology. During their research, scientists observed 205 people for a week. Participants were given phones and from time to time asked questions about what desires and temptations they have during the day and how often they have to control their actions.

It was then that scientists faced a paradox: people with developed willpower (those who answered affirmatively to the question "Do you easily overcome temptations?") Noted fewer temptations during the study. Simply put, those who, by their own words, know how to control themselves, practically do not resort to self-control.

Psychologists Marina Milyavskaya and Michael Inzlicht later developed this idea in their research. They similarly followed 159 students from McGill University (Canada) over the course of a week.

If overcoming temptations is good, does it mean that the more often we resist temptations, the more success we achieve? The results of the study did not confirm this. Students, often holding themselves back, not only failed to achieve their goals, but also constantly felt exhausted. Those who were less likely to experience temptation turned out to be more successful.

Why some find it easier to resist temptations

1. Pleasure

Self-restraint people really enjoy doing things that others find it hard to do, such as eating healthy foods, studying, or playing sports. For them, these activities do not seem to be a tedious duty, but entertainment.

It is much easier to achieve goals formulated in the form of the phrase "I want" than in the form of the phrase "I have to." In the process of achieving such goals, there are fewer temptations and less effort.

If you run because you have to get in shape, but at the same time running disgusts you, you are unlikely to be able to achieve significant results. In other words, you are much more likely to repeat activities that you enjoy than activities that you dislike.

2. Good habits

In 2015, psychologists Brian Galla and Angela Duckworth published a paper that analyzed six studies and the results of more than 2,000 participants. They found that self-controlled people usually have many good habits. They exercise regularly, eat right, and sleep well.

People with well-developed willpower build their lives in such a way as to avoid the need to limit themselves from the very beginning.

Building your life correctly is a skill that can be learned. For those who repeat an action (for example, running or meditating) every day at the same time, it is easier to achieve their goals. And it's not about willpower, but about routine.

Many people find it difficult to wake up in the morning. It seems that this requires an iron will. But it’s not willpower, it’s just planning: just leave the alarm on the other side of the room and you’ll have to get out of bed.

This theory goes back to one of the classic studies of self-control, carried out in the 1960s and 1970s by Walter Michel. During the experiment, children were asked to either eat one marshmallow immediately or eat two after a while. Children who were able to bide their time to get two marshmallows were not necessarily naturally more resistant to temptation. They just took a different approach to waiting. For example, they did not look at the sweetness or imagine it as something else.

The decisive factor in deferring gratification is the ability to change the way you think about an object or action that you want to resist.

3. Genetics

Our temperaments and tendencies are determined in part by genetics. Some people are more likely to be hungry, while others have a predisposition to gambling. Those less likely to be tempted simply won the genetic lottery.

4. Wealth

When the marshmallow experiment was carried out among children from poor families, it was found that it is more difficult for these children to give up the sweets that are being offered right now. And this is quite understandable. People who grow up in poverty are more likely to opt for immediate gratification, because they are used to the fact that their future is uncertain.

conclusions

Self-control is not some kind of special moral muscle that can be pumped up. This is the same solution as everyone else. And to make better decisions, you need to change the environment and learn not to resist temptations, but to avoid them.

Brian Galla

While researchers cannot say whether it is possible to teach people the necessary skills, there are more and more different approaches designed to make our life easier. For example, scientists are looking for new ways to increase motivation using mobile apps and other modern technologies.

Another way to make a difficult activity more enjoyable is to add an entertainment element to it. In one study, participants were asked to listen to an audio version of The Hunger Games while exercising in a gym. And it worked: many noted that it was easier for them to force themselves to go to workout.

Of course, this is not to say that self-control, which requires enormous efforts from us, does not help at all. It's just better to treat it as the body's last desperate attempt to protect us from a bad habit.