Why it's okay to use dating services

The popularity of dating services (from English dating - "dating", "acquaintance") is growing. Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg recently announced that he is creating a competitor to Tinder. On the basis of the social network, its own service will appear, where users will be able to meet, communicate, fall in love, and look for a mate.

There are 200 million people on Facebook who call themselves lonely. There is definitely something you can do here.

Mark Zuckerberg

The attitude towards dating services is different for everyone. Someone thinks that this method of finding a partner is only suitable for losers. Others are sure: Internet dating is practiced only by scammers, perverts, married or married, looking for entertainment.

We talked with experts and concluded that it is ok to use dating services. There are at least five reasons for this.

1. It's in the spirit of the times

Adults, whose childhood was for a while without gadgets, divide life into real and virtual. Generation Z has no idea how the world existed without the Internet. Therefore, acquaintance through dating services does not cause rejection among its representatives.

There were times when a newspaper ad “I want to meet” was considered the last opportunity, a sign that a person was desperate. A public display of loneliness was considered something shameful.

Today everything is different. For active Internet users, a public request for communication, acquaintance, search for a partner is quite normal. It is easier for a young man who likes a girl to first find her on social networks, rather than go up and get to know her right away. Increasingly, people begin to communicate via the Internet and dating services, and only then establish relationships offline.

Svetlana Makarova Deputy Director of the Center for Social and Psychological Assistance to Families and Children "Ulyanovsk Regional Family Resource Institute"

With virtual communication, it's not so scary that someone doesn't like you or someone doesn't like you. This "cure" is simple: removed from friends, blocked, stopped communicating. A different sensitivity mechanism is triggered. Therefore, failures in communication on dating services are perceived not as painful as in reality.

Oleg Ivanov psychologist, conflictologist, head of the Center for Settlement of Social Conflicts

Internet dating is the response of society to the loss of certain communication links. There is a gradual atomization of society. People are increasingly moving away from each other, trying to be autonomous, isolated, to live in their own narrow circle. And virtual dating allows you to expand your social circle without leaving your comfort zone.

But the simplicity and ease of virtual communication has a downside. In order to meet in real life, many partners need a lot of courage even after long-term communication. A person who seemed perfect in correspondence can be disappointing. Therefore, quite often online dating does not lead to a real relationship.

It so happens that one of the partners hesitates for a long time to meet in reality, fearing to destroy the ideal romance. And this is also in the spirit of the times.

2. It's simple and convenient

You can meet online in any convenient place, regardless of activities and time of day. And the conversation, if desired, is interrupted at any time at the touch of a button.

Simplicity wins over. To get to know someone in the real world, you need to do certain things. We'll have to somehow prove ourselves, try to please. Virtual communication simplifies everything: you can be “someone” by sitting in shorts on the couch and simply pressing buttons.

In addition, many today are better at virtual speech: it is easier for them to write than to say.

Maria Semerok psychologist-profiler

Today is the time of minimal costs and lazy actions. A dating site is a great option for those who are always in a hurry. Fast food, fast sex, fast life. You can create your profile while sitting on the couch, at your desk, or lying in the bubble bath. The speed and ease of action is the engine of progress.

Dating services are convenient. You immediately see the profile of the interlocutor, you can study information about him and, already based on this, refuse to communicate or initiate it. It is easy to select by filters those who are suitable by age, interests and other parameters. All this without leaving home, on the way to work, sitting behind the wheel of a car in a traffic jam.

You decide what to look for: the love of your life or a partner for one night, an interlocutor for communication, friends of interest. You don't need to be active and courageous - just like the photo or write "Hello!"

There are no gender stereotypes here: both a girl and a guy can be active. And if it didn't work out, you shouldn't be upset, because there are other options.

3. It saves time and hassle

In online dating, everything is simple: if you don't like a person, behave inappropriately, impolitely, offensively, you can not waste time and nerves on him. And time is one of the most important resources, which is always in short supply.

Marina Rybnikova founder of the International Association Neo Lady

In a big city, few people want to spend their time traveling to a meeting to get to know each other. On the Web, you can quickly understand what kind of person is talking to you, and stop the conversation at any time. And in parallel with communication, you can do any business.

Importantly, virtual communication helps to minimize the stress that occurs when you first meet. Before you see eye to eye, you can study each other solely through correspondence. And when you meet in reality, you will communicate as familiar people.

4. It helps to learn to assess yourself and others adequately

The image you show to your virtual friends says a lot. It helps you understand whether you love and appreciate your real self.

When communicating on dating services, many have a difficulty: it is not clear what exactly to write in the "About me" section. Over-praising yourself is not the most correct option, because a flawless image is more likely to repel than attract. Downplaying the dignity is also not the best way. You will have to look for a middle ground that is closest to your real image.

Likewise, it is difficult to assess your partner's profile: the picture may not be true at all. Correspondence erases emotions and gestures, the hero of your ideal romance in life can be a very unpleasant person.

Carefully, with the meticulousness of a profiler, browse the profiles: photos, quotes, descriptions. This will help you assess the interlocutor adequately. And get rid of the loneliness from your head, which screams that you need to find at least someone, to lower the bar. Be sure to pay attention to your first feelings during the meeting. This is the most honest opinion: it comes from your subconscious, intuition.

Maria Semerok psychologist-profiler

5. It is safer than outside

Dating on the street, unfortunately, sometimes turns into serious troubles. Virtual communication usually helps to avoid these problems. And the ability to end communication with the press of one button is calming.

Artyom Kotenko Head of Promotion Department "Computer Engineering"

On the Internet, you can more likely stumble upon those who are trying to cheat for money than rapists or maniacs. Linking a mobile phone to an account, a photo in a profile, OpenID - all these methods of identity verification in dating services make life difficult for fraudsters.

Fraudsters on dating sites post other people's photos, publish false information, pull confidential information, ask for intimate photos, which can then be blackmailed. To protect yourself, follow the well-known adage "Trust but verify." After all, what exactly you tell the interlocutor depends only on you.

Ilya Loevsky Deputy Head of the Russian Quality System

You should be careful when using applications in public Wi-Fi networks: some programs do not encrypt data in transit, and therefore they can get to attackers. For more information on researching mobile apps for online dating, read Roskachestvo.

Dating services are a good way to get to know each other and find a second half for anyone who lacks time, opportunity and determination. The main rule is to use them wisely.