7 reasons why couple fights are okay

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Conflicts and their constructive resolution are the only way to achieve harmony in a couple. Find out what you can buy if you stop fighting.

1. You will start to trust each other more

Conflicts that cannot be resolved quickly terrify many couples that they prefer to avoid them by any means necessary. People consider such fights to be fatal to the relationship. And completely in vain.

If you manage to talk without getting personal, but at the same time not suppressing your emotions, but on the contrary, making them available to your partner, such a quarrel will only strengthen your relationship. You will understand this when the storm has settled.

After experiencing one fight, you will be less afraid of the next. You will become more trusting in your partner and yourself, knowing that you can handle possible disagreements. As a result, you will not put off difficult conversations with your spouse until the last. You will understand that it is better not to accumulate negative emotions, but to find out what is wrong as soon as possible.

2. After an argument, you will feel much better

Managing to express your emotions and letting off steam will release tension, anxiety, and fear. This will have a positive effect on both your mental health and physical health.

Of course, this does not mean that you need to drain all your toxic thoughts on your partner. Although sometimes it is better to express everything that is boiling than to keep it inside and wait until everything is formed by itself.

Greg Godek, author of Love: The Course They Forgot to Teach You in School, believes that the golden rule of ethics rarely works in real fights. Talking too carefully will get you nowhere. Therefore, sometimes it is better to release all emotions in order to finally figure out what's the matter.

The only rule to follow in quarrels is not to hit your partner or throw heavy objects at him. For the rest - go ahead: make noise, slam doors, swear with the last words. Do anything if you feel it will help.

Greg Godek

3. The partner learns about your thoughts and feelings

No matter how close you are, your partner cannot read your thoughts. He probably just does not know how much a topic touches you.

At the same time, the question arises: how to convey your thoughts to your partner so that he perceives them correctly and does not take offense? Especially if these are some kind of claims in relation to him. How not to discourage him with his discontent?

Try not to blame, but to talk about your feelings, about how your partner's behavior reflects on you. Psychologists call these self-statements. For example, you might say, "I'm already fed up with your work." An I-statement that conveys the same thought would sound like this: “I am very upset that you often come home late. I would like to spend more time together."

Quarrels are said to show all our worst traits. But they can also discover our best qualities if we tackle the hardest part of them.

4. You will get closer

During fights, you figure out what is important to your partner, what he loves, what he wants, how he sets boundaries, how flexible he is, what hurts him, and what he needs to feel better.

If you quarreled over the fact that your half is throwing socks around the apartment, the matter may be completely different. Perhaps the reason lies in respect and personal space, not neatness.

Greg Godek

There is one more fact that must be mentioned. Sex after a spat is worth almost any fight. And he, too, will bring you closer to each other. In all senses.

5. You will understand that your soul mate is a separate person

Quarrels very quickly dispel the illusion that you have already merged into one whole and achieved complete mutual understanding. It's even good if this never happens. So you can get to know each other from new sides all your life.

6. You will become better

You learn to focus on the essentials. On the fact that your soul mate is very important to you and you want your loved one to be happy. So you become more patient, understanding and caring, learn to truly love.

When you are in the middle of a fight, you clearly have no time for fun. You feel disgusting. In a way, fights are like sports training. Is it always nice to sweat in the gym? No. But this is how you pump your weaknesses.

Greg Godek

To quarrel is to forge a sword from steel. Only after hardening, after repeated immersion in hot oil and cold water, you get a work of art that can survive any test. So it is with your union.

7. You will understand that you don't have to be perfect

Quarrels show that you are only human. Sometimes you are in a bad mood, sometimes you are overwhelmed by stress, and sometimes you are simply tired. Accordingly, your relationship cannot be perfect either.

All your inner cockroaches, which you are aware of or not aware of, will make themselves felt in close relationships. It's unavoidable.

During a quarrel, our inner children interact. They are vulnerable and irrational. It's like you're two or three years old again. Therefore, when you are hurt, remember that a child is doing it. To do this, you can keep a baby photo of your beloved at hand.

Hedi Schleifer is a licensed consultant psychologist, director of the Relationship Therapy Center

Use conflict as an opportunity to grow. View fights not as a hindrance, but as an aid to building healthy relationships.