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2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44
The annoying moments seem funny until they happen to us personally. And when they do happen, then from embarrassment I want to literally sink into the ground.
Hiccuping in public transport, ripping your pants in a busy place, opening the toilet door and discovering that someone is already there, confusing a pregnant girl with a fat one - all this is terribly embarrassing. Now imagine how something from this list also happens in the circle of colleagues, with whom you will then have to work. Any of these oversights can seriously damage your reputation.
An awkward situation makes us feel embarrassed and uncomfortable. But it is not all that bad. If you look at it from an unexpected side, you can understand that it can bring a lot of benefits.
Susan David is a professor of psychology at Harvard University.
Embarrassment and awkwardness are the emotions we feel towards other people when we puncture or behave inappropriately to social norms and standards. Emotions that are associated with shame and guilt are often viewed as negative when in fact they are not.
The positive aspects of awkward situations
1. Increasing the level of trust
People who find themselves in uncomfortable situations and feel embarrassed and uncomfortable about it will have a much greater credit of trust just because they don't give a damn what impression they make on others. There is also a high probability that their embarrassment will be forgiven and forgotten much faster than the embarrassment of a person who does not care about the opinions of others.
2. Preliminary preparation for difficult life situations
Imagine that you have to tell a prospective customer about your product. To make a good impression, you will try to prepare yourself as well as possible and think in advance about the answers to all tricky questions.
Potentially possible pitfalls encourage us to try harder so as not to lose face at a crucial moment.
Once you get into embarrassing situations and come out of them with dignity, you become more resilient and more prepared for the difficulties that may someday occur in your life. Situations of embarrassment and embarrassment can be considered excellent workouts that build character in many ways.
3. Broadcasting key values
Awkward situations serve as a kind of social regulator. With their help, people understand which behavior is acceptable in a normal society and which is not. These situations are designed to maintain order and shed light on things that really matter to us: caring for others, caring for loved ones, and being interested in making a good impression.
Three ways to deal with embarrassment
Most of us deliberately try not to get into awkward situations, but no one is immune from them. Here are a few things you can do to help alleviate the awkwardness.
1. Treat the situation with humor
The most common behavior patterns for people in awkward situations are:
- fade away and try to hush everything up unnoticed;
- take the blow courageously and try to work it out.
The advice is: don't try to hide what has already happened. Everyone has already noticed that you screwed up. What is the use of denying everything? The best thing you can do in a situation like this is to treat it with humor.
Show that you are not afraid to laugh at yourself. This will show others your courage and confidence. You can even say something like, "Wow, how awkward I am!" To keep the tension to a minimum.
2. Control your emotions
Tips like “don't be nervous”, “cool it down” and “relax” seem pretty commonplace, but no less effective.
An interesting and revealing experiment was conducted at the University of Western Ontario. Participants were asked to recall situations for which they were ashamed, and situations that evoked pleasant emotions. After that, they were offered a choice of hot and cold drinks.
People who recalled embarrassing situations mostly chose cold drinks. This is due to the body's natural reaction to situations that make us feel uncomfortable: we are thrown into a fever, our face turns red, we want to somehow cool down.
Emotions and our body temperature are closely related. If you find yourself in a situation that is out of control, try to calm down and not aggravate it further.
3. Forgive yourself
It is necessary to learn to overcome difficulties. This is the price we pay to be imperfect but normal people.
Leslie Shore Psychologist.
If you are often embarrassed, then try to overcome yourself at least once and observe the reaction of others. Do they laugh in a friendly way and give you a sympathetic look? Instead of hiding your eyes, apologize and laugh at yourself with them.
When you make a mistake, you don't have to endlessly torture yourself. One must practice self-compassion and self-forgiveness. When you admit that you, like everyone else, are not perfect, it can help you let go of the situation and say goodbye to the past.
We hope these simple ways to overcome embarrassment will help you at least a little.
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