2023 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-05-22 06:26
So, you've finished your office romance. You threw away all reminders, deleted joint photos from social networks, complained to friends and girlfriends. Working together with a once loved one is hard. There are several ways to survive the ending of an office romance, even if your ex is sitting at the next table.
Any break in relations is a blow, but ending a romance in the office is a completely different situation. Unfortunately, it doesn't matter if you broke up by mutual decision or someone left the game unilaterally. But this is not a reason to change jobs. Let's see what we can do to smooth out the consequences of the breakup.
1. Agree on neutral behavior
We hope you and your partner agreed initially not to mix work and personal issues. If not, now is the time to do so. Don't let relationship difficulties ruin your reputation or affect your bottom line.
You need to dot the i's and decide how you will communicate.
At work, only business communication is allowed, and first of all you will have to adhere to this principle.
Even if you split up as friends and maintain a good relationship, carry it over to your workflow. Remember that everything is over between you. And at least for the first time, do not bother each other.
Only the conversation should be personal, no collectivization and showdown in the corridor.
2. Professional etiquette
Treat your ex the same way you treat other colleagues, even if it seems impossible. Communicate politely (especially if you recently split up) and only on work topics. No sarcastic remarks, even at the limit of hearing. Sometimes it is difficult to bite your tongue in time, but you have to: no one will get better from the squabble in the office.
It’s harder to stay in line with corporate ethics if a former partner provokes a scandal and acts like an offended schoolboy after a failed party. It's trite, but there are no recipes other than completely ignoring attacks in your direction.
3. No gossip
After a relationship breaks down, it’s tempting to wash your ex or ex’s bones with anyone who’s willing to listen. This is generally the first item on the "What to do after a breakup" list. Only the office romance has different conditions.
No office gossip, do not chat with colleagues about the details of your breakup (even if you are tortured, keep quiet like a partisan).
If your inner voice demands revenge and tells you how to ruin your partner's reputation, you will not achieve anything, just make yourself look unfavorable.
Do not add fuel to the fire, otherwise your story will turn into an office bike that will be told to everyone. "But we have one couple in the marketing department broke up, and then the report had soooo pictures …"
4. No revenge
By the way, about photos, secrets and compromising evidence. Leave such passions to the scriptwriters of the series and do not turn the office into a movie set for a soap opera.
If you broke up, this is not a reason to delay the report, not transfer documents on time or disrupt a meeting with a client to a former partner. Anything could be between you. But, if in the organization someone starts to work ineffectively, in the end all employees suffer due to the loss of profits and additional costs.
At work, you sail in the same boat, so discard dislike as unnecessary ballast.
5. Cut back on communication
So, you accepted the fact that your hurt pride needs to be calmed down, negative emotions - muffled and continue to work with this person. This does not imply communication for the entire 40 working hours.
While the wound is still fresh, use the old avoidance tactic. Because of the former, you should not miss meetings and corporate parties, but there is always an opportunity to adjust the work schedule so as to overlap to a minimum.
By the way, about a visit to a corporate party. 100% sober for you. This is out of the question. If you recently completed an affair, do not play with alcohol in front of your colleagues. There are not many anecdotes on this topic, so bad are the consequences of a glass of wine at a work party with exes.
Come to work a little earlier so as not to walk down the corridor in oppressive silence. Don't run to the cafeteria when it's lunch time with your ex, or go to lunch with someone else.
If emotions are very strong and you cannot work calmly, take a vacation for a couple of weeks, throw out all the negativity and leave it as far away from the work chair as possible.
6. Channel your energy into a peaceful track
At some point, parting will take over all your thoughts. This is normal, we are all human. But stop bothering with the fact that the former partner is already going on a new date. Direct all the energy from unnecessary emotions to work.
It's not always easy, but try to leave emotions outside the office door. You just need to complete the required hours. Concentration on work will distract you from mental anguish. And at the same time, you will show your boss how well you can work. The prize will definitely sweeten the pill a little.
7. Don't talk about yourself
Don't talk about your personal life. You will start a new relationship sooner or later.
Even if enough time has passed and the parting has become the past, do not wake up resentment and do not explain over the speakerphone that you are going on vacation with a new passion.
Do not give a reason for gossip and do not try to show your unearthly happiness in spite of your former partner.
If you are asked for details, it is best to interrupt the conversation or not maintain it. After all, the personal must remain personal.
8. Remember your experience
There is nothing surprising or bad in the emergence of office romances. We spend too much time at work, and many colleagues open up with attractive aspects.
But as you recover from a failed relationship, assess the consequences. Was this novel worth the subsequent hardships? Maybe, maybe not. Whatever you decide, weigh the pros and cons. Especially if you are going to dive into new romantic relationships in the workplace.