Lessons from Loss: What Grief Can Teach

"Everything that does not kill us makes us stronger" - this aphorism of Friedrich Nietzsche fully refers to grief. Despite the fact that this is one of the most difficult emotional states that a person experiences, it can also bring certain benefits. Here are some important lessons grief over the loss of loved ones can teach us.

1. Realize the value of life

Psychologists and people who have suffered loss note that it becomes a powerful impetus for realizing the value of life. Of course, such an understanding does not come immediately. But an encounter with death, sooner or later, can lead a person to a similar conclusion.

American psychologist Lara Honos-Webb says that mourners over and over again recall the ordinary moments they lived with the departed person and realize their significance. So they begin to value more their current life with its most common events.

Philosopher and coach Joel Almeida also notes that facing death leads to the realization of one's own mortality. It helps you prioritize your life and get started without looking back at the opinions of others.

2. Get closer to the living

The loss of an important person allows you to feel how important the connection with other relatives, loved ones and friends is.

Petty quarrels and resentments fade into the background, and love and unity come to the fore.

At the same time, the connection with loved ones is strengthened both during the joint experience of loss, and when they help the person to experience it.

3. Feel the power of connection with the departed

Paradoxically, but it is grief that makes it possible to highly appreciate the relationship with the departed. American psychotherapist Shulamit Widawsky argues that grief connects us to the one we have lost. If it were not for him, we would simply disconnect from the sad event and not feel the power of love that we feel after the loss.

4. Learn to cry

It may sound a little cynical, but during a strong experience, you can learn about the life-giving power of tears. This knowledge is especially useful for, many of whom are told from childhood that they should not cry.

Tears have definite benefits for the body.

Scientist and one of the most famous experts in crying, William H. Frey, conducted a series of studies in the early 1980s, the results of which were published in the book Crying: The Secret of Tears.

Dr. Frey concluded that emotional tears (unlike normal tears, which are designed to moisturize the eyeball) detoxify stress hormones and toxins from the body. In addition, crying can stimulate the release of endorphins. That is, from a scientific point of view, you need to cry.

5. Release emotions

American grief and loss management specialist Jon Terrell argues that working through the negative (anger, sadness, resentment) associated with loss helps to live more fulfilling lives.

Our stuck emotions contain tremendous energy. Releasing this energy is the fastest and most effective way to awaken, heal yourself and achieve your goals.

John Terrell

After all, negative experiences are as much a part of our life and psyche as positive ones. Having accepted them, we are at least a little, but closer to happiness.