Family and change: how to enlist the support of loved ones

Change is always difficult. Especially the changes associated with a change in the usual way of life. He was a meat eater, he loved to drink beer, and then at some point he decided to limit himself in the use of meat and alcohol. And if for himself he decided everything and put everything on the shelves in his mind, then for the people around him everything may not be so obvious. This is especially true for family members who live with this person.

If you decide to start eating healthy foods and exercising daily, that doesn't mean your family will start doing the same. Other people are more difficult to convince, as they have their own opinion on this matter. And all these changes are not so easy. What if your family has a difficult time transitioning to a new lifestyle? Do not start a new one?

From my own experience, I can say that this is really quite difficult. When Slava decided to minimize the consumption of meat and almost completely abandon sweets, I resisted for a long time. Firstly, I like sweets, and secondly, I like to cook sweets. For me, fiddling with desserts and pastries is like art … almost like painting. And, of course, it is even more difficult to explain to the child why mom will not bake delicious cookies so often now. But gradually we found a compromise and everyone was satisfied.

But such changes do not always go so easily. Leo Babauta, who gradually completely cleared his life of information waste that littered his head, food waste that polluted his body and a huge number of things that littered his house and limited the mobility of his family, also went through a similar experience. Which he shared on his blog.

All aboard

Usually, the scenario is standard: you read a book or article inspired. We walked for a long time and thought it over and finally decided to try it. But you informed the family only at the very end, and it will probably be difficult for others to support you in new endeavors right away and without hesitation. You have already thought it over and played it in your head several times in different versions. And they are not. Therefore, at least it is not fair to demand from them an instant positive reaction.

Leo offers a slightly different option. As his experience showed, if you found something interesting and you just got the idea that it would be great to try this system, share your thoughts with your loved ones as soon as possible. Thus, they will be at the very beginning of the process. Do not let them know when you have already made your own decision. Tell them as soon as you hear about it. Ask them what they think about it? You should discuss together, lay it all out in steps and draw conclusions together. Make decisions together.

People don't like being forced to change. Instead of asking them to change with you, ask them to help you change first. Tell them that you need their support and guidance. And they, without noticing it, helping you in the process to get involved in the new system. Let them make their own decisions. Don't force things.

Lead by example

Not the fact that everyone will immediately agree with you on the proposed experiment. Therefore, the best option to lure doubters to your side is to show a worthy role model.

Personal example is always the best example. This is especially true for children and parents. If you tell your child that a healthy lifestyle is much better and more interesting than constant sitting in front of the TV and eating all sorts of nasty things, but at the same time you yourself will be inseparably sitting at the computer, sipping beer, it is unlikely that the child will run to sign up for the sports section. Our son sees that his parents are constantly involved in sports, he sees that dad can safely run 21 km or ride a bike around the island. And that's it! He doesn't need anything else! He already asks to go jogging with his dad, tells how he will learn to ride a two-wheeled bike when we return home, and goes to taekwando training with great pleasure. Our second friend constantly participates in marathons and triathlon competitions. And his son does not lag behind his dad, having already received several certificates for participating in children's marathons.

No need to persuade and tell how great it will be. Just take it with you a few times. Do it unobtrusively and the result will not be long in coming.

If the family is still left out

If you have not yet managed to convince your loved ones to join the endeavors. Just ask them for understanding and minimal criticism. If you don't want to join, don't bother. Don't counter it. Show that you understand and respect their way of life, but that you yourself want to change.

Make it an interesting game

Another interesting and useful tool for engaging the whole family is “family challenges”. That is, you must set goals together and achieve them together. Some people see nothing interesting about simply following the new rules. In order to change, they need a goal set within a certain framework. And then the transition to the new rules becomes like an exciting competition. Children are especially fond of such competitions. If you turn it into a game of overcoming obstacles, they will happily start playing by the new rules. Up to keeping score records.

It's fun, it's exciting, and most importantly, you do it all together!

Healthy eating

Experience has shown that the transition to a healthy diet is almost the most difficult task. Therefore, this should be done gradually. Especially if you have children. You cannot force them to eat only plant foods. Still, these are children and their bodies are just being formed.

Cook separately for yourself. Leo says that he and his wife can eat the same food for several days, while they cook separately for the children, as they need a more varied diet. Among children, it is quite difficult to find special fans of boiled broccoli or oatmeal in the water.
It is difficult to force children to eat food they are not used to. Not all kids love vegetables and leafy greens. Therefore, you need to accustom them gradually, let's try these products in various dishes. Their taste buds need to be developed. Children need to be taught to taste and savor food, to distinguish between different tastes. And it really works. I can't say that Vanya eats all adult dishes, but he eats risotto with goat cheese and green peas with great pleasure.
If the kids eat something delicious (like pizza), try not to react. If it's hard to hold back, go for a walk or run.
Children will go to any restaurant and eat whatever is given to them if dessert is promised at the end as a reward. You play the game and collect points, remember?
Not everyone accepts vegetarianism. If you are serious about giving up meat altogether, and your family is very reluctant to do so, don't force them. Just look for delicious vegetarian meals, cook and treat them. If it really tastes good, your family simply won't have a reason to give it up. If you already really want meat or pizza, you can set aside one day a week and plan, for example, a trip to a pizzeria. Good Vegetarian Recipe App on the App Store - Green Kitchen ($ 4.99)

Support your family's endeavors

If you want your family to support you, you must also support your family's endeavors. If your wife (or husband) or children are addicted to something, support them, help them. Look for useful books and resources for them, help with projects. When they see how you are helping them, they can provide the support you need. As noted above, the best example is personal.

Learn by teaching others

And the last thing. The best way to change is to start helping others change. Help your family in their new endeavors, study with loved ones, and share what you have learned. And as you tell them what you have learned and what you have learned, you will learn more and more new things.