REVIEW: “What to dream about. How to understand what you really want and how to achieve it”, Barbara Sher

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

We present you a review of the book "What to Dream About" by Barbara Sher. This bestseller will show you how to find your goals in life and show you the shortest paths to achieving them.

In her book "" Barbara Sher told readers about how to make dreams come true and how to decide to start doing what you have a heart for, despite the fact that people around you may a priori consider your plans unrealizable, stupid and unworthy of attention. It was a fascinating conversation between the author and the readers, which gave them confidence in their own strength.

After the release of Dreaming Is Not Harmful, Barbara over the years received letters from readers who expressed gratitude for the book, but at the same time noted that they could not follow the advice given: they do not have a dream, they do not know how to understand what they really are want. Barbara Sher decided to ask this question and understand why people cannot determine what they want more than anything else, and how to deal with it. Thanks to this, the book "What to Dream About" was published, which we will tell you about today.

How to understand what you really want: Separate your real desires from the desires of others

Where does childhood go? Oddly enough, nowhere - it is always with us. It lives there, somewhere in a secluded corner of the soul, in the form of childhood memories, grievances, attitudes that we unconsciously transfer into our adult life. Remember who these people who were your role models and the best advisers in childhood? Whom did you need to listen to and who always knew what was right and what was wrong? That's right, these are your parents.

Any parent wants his child to be happy. But each person puts his own meaning into the word "happiness". Dad wanted you to get a degree in economics-manager and continue your family business. This way you will become a successful and respected person who will not be lost in life. You, as a child, took it on faith, received a red diploma and, perhaps, really became a successful and respected person. But despite this, you do not feel that you have achieved something significant, but the feeling of dissatisfaction and the question "Where next?" haunt you daily.

What to do? Take a pen and a piece of paper. Divide the sheet into two columns, the first heading "My loved ones wanted me to …", and the second - "I wanted me to …". Compare these two columns. The result may surprise you. You wanted to become a writer, ballerina, florist, or whatever else you have on the list. But then, in distant childhood, they drove away these dreams and adopted the attitudes that the parents declared. Now you are an adult, and it is in your power to separate what you really want from what your loved ones want for you.

Parents have formed the images of successful sons and beautiful wealthy daughters - well-arranged children in life who can be proud of in front of others. Very few parents have such a luxury as peace of mind, which allows them to realize that the most reasonable thing for a child is to find their own path and follow it.

Barbara Sher

How to understand what you really want: go from the opposite

You can't figure out what you want, but you probably know what you definitely don't want. You may not know what your “heavenly” job should be, but you can easily describe the “hellish” one. What exactly would you not be able to tolerate? Weekly and boring, by and large no one needs, but at the same time mandatory reports? Coming to work by eight in the morning? List everything. And then carry out a simple operation: change minus to plus - describe the work, which will be the complete opposite of "hellish". This simple exercise can be applied not only to work, but to most of what you cannot decide on.

How to understand what you really want: choose from a variety of options

Someone cannot find at least something that he would like to strive for, while someone has many options, but he cannot choose one of them. You belong to the second type if 24 hours a day is not enough for you. Seven days a week is not enough for you. But what can we say on trifles - one life is clearly not enough for you. You dream of reaching many heights, but you cannot begin to climb any.

There is a way out: again take a sheet of paper and a pen (and if you read a book, it is better not to put them far away at all) and list everything that you want to do in life. Become Bill Gates in a skirt? Travel around the globe? List absolutely all your desires. Keep the list as complete as possible, even if it may take you a few days to compile it. As soon as it is ready, imagine that out of 10 (20, 30, 40 …) items you need to leave only one - the most important for you.

Start crossing out the items one by one, asking yourself the question: "What can I refuse?" It’s easy at first, but toward the middle of the list, it’s harder and harder to “cross out your desires”. But this is the easiest way to find out what is more important for you. In the end, you should have one dream left - this is what you want most. Now everything is only in your hands - go for it. And, of course, after the main goal is achieved, do not forget to go back to your list, rewrite it in clean copy and repeat the deletion operation.

The above are not all the exercises, techniques, tips and thoughts that Barbara Sher shares in her book. In addition, you will learn what to do if you suddenly realize that for many years you have been chasing a goal alien to you. What to do if it seems to you that the main thing in life has been lost, and you no longer see the point of fighting. How to cope with the fear of making the wrong choice and finally understanding what YOU want from your life.

Impressions

Barbara Sher's creation is not just a book. This is a reliable and loyal friend, to whom, even after reading once from cover to cover, you will periodically return. This is a book that allows you to remember your childhood dreams and aspirations and find a place for them in adulthood. Barbara not only shares her personal experience, but also brings stories of her clients who have faced similar problems.

The abundance of practical exercises allows you to remember what you read and be guided by it every day. Perhaps, when analyzing your childhood and adult actions, you will become unpleasant, ashamed, and maybe even hurt and offended for all the opportunities that you missed. But at the same time, you will understand the main thing: it is never too late to follow your dream and start living the way you, and not someone else thinks is right.

Whom to read

Anyone who feels that he is confused and cannot understand what he really wants to achieve, what he wants to strive for. All parents, no matter how old your child is now - five or 25. In a separate category, I would like to place graduates who have recently graduated from their studies and are planning to look for work.