Why we find it strange to disagree with us

It seems to me that both a man and a woman work in a modern family. They are discounted for general expenses and evenly distribute responsibilities around the house. When I hear a different point of view from my friend (“A woman should be provided for by a man, otherwise why is he needed at all?”), I start to shake. How can you think so ?! This is nonsense! Something must be wrong with you …

We constantly draw such conclusions when faced with alternative views. This cognitive bias is called the false-agreement effect.

What is the False Consensus Effect

The False Consensus Effect is manifested when a person considers his opinion to be generally accepted, and explains another point of view by the personal characteristics of people. It was first described in 1976 after a series of experiments at Stanford.

In one of them, students were asked to walk down the street for half an hour in an advertising sandwich "Lunch at Joe's." They were not paid money and were not told about this person, they were simply warned that the choice is free - they can refuse.

Of those who decided to advertise the unknown Joe, 62% assumed that there was nothing wrong with this, and therefore other students would agree. Of those who refused, only 33% thought the rest would wear a sandwich suit.

The effect was observed in other experiments as well. The students were offered a choice in several situations: to participate in an advertising campaign for a supermarket or not, to complete an individual task or work in a group, to support the space program or to protest against it. Participants were asked to suggest what percentage of fellow students would do one way or another, and also to answer what they would do themselves and how they would rate those who hold an alternative point of view.

As expected, the students considered their vision to be more widespread, and their disagreement with it was explained by some personal traits. For example: "The one who does not agree to wear a sandwich for the experiment is probably very withdrawn and afraid of public opinion" or "The one who does this has no self-esteem."

The reasons why we do this

There are several mechanisms that can explain the effect of false agreement.

Justifying your point of view

Probably the simplest explanation is to strengthen your self-esteem. After all, if your opinion is shared by most people, it is probably correct. Thus, we protect ourselves from dissonance and the worm of doubt: “Am I living correctly? Am I a good person?"

The habit of looking for similar things

People are very social creatures. We constantly identify ourselves with others: we look for similarities, adjust our behavior and views. Therefore, thoughts about similarities between people come to our minds faster than about differences. Next comes the accessibility heuristic - another cognitive error that makes whatever comes to mind as true.

The tendency to focus on the closest social circle

As a rule, we communicate with people who share our views and principles. Therefore, colleagues, friends, and family are more likely to really support your opinion. The problem is that the social circle is not the majority.

This is where another cognitive distortion comes into play - the illusion of clustering. It occurs when you summarize data without reason: judging the population as a whole from one or more cases. For example, suppose that because your 90-year-old grandfather smokes, the habit does not increase your risk of death.

Scientists have tested this theory in an experiment: when students made predictions about the behavior of their peers in an educational institution, the effect of false agreement was especially pronounced.

Emphasis on the influence of the environment

Any opinion can be explained by two reasons: "such circumstances" and "such a person." As a rule, in real situations they mix, but people tend to exaggerate the influence of one of the factors and underestimate the importance of the other.

Moreover, when evaluating other people's actions, we first of all think about the personal qualities of a person, and explain our actions by external circumstances. For example, if you saw a movie and you didn't like it, you think that the reason for the dissatisfaction is the quality of the picture, and not at all your tastes. In such a situation, it is logical to assume: since the movie is bad, most people will not like it. This is what you do.

How the effect of false consent spoils life

The false consensus effect leads to misunderstandings, hasty conclusions, and hurtful labels. If a person's point of view does not coincide with yours, you automatically begin to consider him strange, narrow-minded, too tight, too relaxed, and so on.

In the case of close people, you can still talk and find out the motives and prerequisites, even if this happens after the quarrel. With new acquaintances, the situation is worse: disagreement on some issues can destroy communication and create negative opinions of opponents about each other.

In addition, the effect of false agreement can be quite a hassle in business and marketing. If, when choosing a product, new solutions or advertising methods, you are guided not by statistics, but by personal views, you can greatly miscalculate.

Another unpleasant effect associated with this mistake is belief in a good future: a person is inclined to believe that sooner or later his opinion will be supported by the majority of others. This is bad, because then people give up the fight. Since a bright future will come anyway, why bother?

How to overcome this effect

To avoid falling victim to this effect, try to pay more attention to the facts rather than your feelings.

Let us analyze this approach using the example of alternative views on the family life. So, you've heard something with which you fundamentally disagree. Here's how to proceed.

Check if there is objective information on the topic: scientific research, statistical data. In our example, you need to find out the percentage of housewives in Russia and other countries, find out the connection between work and life satisfaction, and look for other facts on the topic. If there is data, draw conclusions. If not, go to the next item.
Find out what circumstances could lead a person to this opinion: previous experience, associated beliefs, evidence. At the same time, you remember what you are relying on when making your choice. Arguments like "This is obvious!" not accepted. In our example, we take into account the history of the family, examples of friends and acquaintances, cultural characteristics.
Based on the results of the analysis, come to a consensus, or at least understand the motives of the other person without rewarding him with a label.