Why Listening to Those You Disagree With Is Helpful

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

As you become familiar with controversial ideas, you will develop empathy and deepen your understanding of the situation.

The parents of some of my friends, barely seeing me, came to the conclusion that my main talent was basketball. It upset me that my race made it harder for them to see me as a student who loves to read, write and discuss.

These impressions motivated me to work tirelessly to refute the attitudes of those around me. To make a good impression, I had to be patient, observant, and painfully well-mannered. To prove that I fit in, I had to exude confidence, speak well, and listen carefully. Only then would my peers see that I deserve to be among them.

At university, I joined a group of students who invited controversial speakers to lecture. Many were against these people, and I faced serious resistance from students, teachers and administration. People did not understand the value of such performances and saw only harm in them. It was sad to see personal attacks and cancellations of lectures, to hear how others misinterpret my intentions.

I realized that my work hurts the feelings of many people. I myself hate to hear speakers who argue that feminism is a war against men, or that blacks have lower IQs than whites. And I realized that some have experienced trauma, and listening to such aggressive attacks is sometimes akin to reliving them.

But ignoring opposing opinions does not destroy them, because millions of people still agree with them.

I believe that by interacting with provocative and offensive ideas, we can find common ground. If not with the speakers themselves, then with the audience, whom they are trying to brainwash. Through this interaction, we gain a deeper understanding of our own views and learn to solve problems. This is impossible if we do not talk to each other and do not try to listen to others.

I know from my own experience that it is very difficult to change the values of the intellectual community. But when I think back to the personal interactions with those who support my work and those who are against it, I feel hopeful. This kind of personal communication gives a lot.

For example, some time ago I met with the political scientist Charles Murray. In 1994, he wrote the highly controversial book The Bell Curve, which claims that some races are smarter than others. During our conversation, I understood his arguments better.

I saw that he, like me, believes in creating a more just society. Only his understanding of justice is very different from mine.

And the way he approaches inequality is also different from my approach. I noticed that his interpretation of issues such as social security and positive discrimination is tied to an understanding of libertarian and conservative beliefs. Although he expressed his views eloquently, they still did not convince me. But I understood his position better.

In order to make progress despite difficulties, we need a sincere desire to understand humanity more deeply. I would like to see a world in which more leaders are thoroughly familiar with the views of those with whom they disagree and understand the characteristics of everyone they represent. And for this, you need to develop empathy and deepen your knowledge, getting better acquainted with other people's points of view.