Emotional intelligence is the key to successfully interacting with other people

Many of us know by ourselves that in the modern world it is increasingly difficult to get along with ourselves and others. Therefore, it is important to understand that successful interaction with other people directly depends on emotional intelligence. We need it to turn intention into action, make informed decisions, build productive relationships, and raise children.

What is emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the ability to identify, use, understand and manage your own emotions in a positive way, for example, to relieve stress, overcome difficulties, and defuse conflict. Also, this ability allows you to recognize the emotional state of other people.

Emotional intelligence can be improved at any time in life.

However, there is a big difference between studying emotional intelligence and putting it into practice. You may understand that you have to take certain steps, but this does not mean that you will take them, especially if you are under stress. In order to change your behavioral habits, you need to learn how to cope with stress.

Emotional intelligence usually has five components:

Self-knowledge. You acknowledge your own emotions and understand how they affect your thoughts and behavior. You know your strengths and weaknesses, you have self-confidence.
Self-control. You know how to control impulsive feelings, manage your emotions in a relationship, take initiative, follow through on commitments, and adapt to changing circumstances.
Empathy. You know how to develop and maintain good relationships, communicate easily, inspire and guide other people.
Motivation. You imagine your goal and are clearly aware of each next step on the way to your dream.
Social skills. You can understand the emotions, needs and problems of other people, recognize non-verbal signals, feel comfortable in society, determine the status of a person in a group or organization, resolve conflicts within a team.

Why emotional intelligence is so important

Life shows that not always smart people achieve success and high social status. You probably remember a couple of people who have brilliant academic knowledge, but who are socially incompetent both at work and in their personal life.

A high IQ does not guarantee success in a career and family. Yes, he will help you enter a prestigious educational institution, but only emotional intelligence will help out when you need to calm down your emotions before the final exams. In tandem, IQ and EQ reinforce each other.

Thus, emotional intelligence affects:

School performance and productivity at work. Emotional intelligence can help you navigate complex social relationships in the workplace, become a leader and motivate others, and excel in your career. Many companies evaluate the emotional intelligence of candidates in interviews, considering it to be no less important characteristic than professional competence.
Physical health. If you are unable to control your emotions, you probably cannot control stress. This can lead to serious health problems. Uncontrolled stress raises blood pressure, suppresses the immune system, increases the risk of heart attack, promotes infertility and accelerates aging.
Mental condition. Uncontrolled emotions and stress affect mental health, which makes us vulnerable to anxiety and depression. If you don't control your own emotions, you won't be able to build lasting relationships. The end result is a feeling of loneliness and isolation.
Relationship. By understanding and managing your own emotions, you will learn to express your attitude towards loved ones, to feel those around you. This will allow you to communicate more effectively and build trust.

What will help build emotional intelligence

1. Self-knowledge

Psychologists argue that current experiences are reflections of earlier emotional experiences. This means that your ability to perceive anger, sadness, fear, and joy is most likely influenced by the quality and intensity of your emotions early in life.

If you have appreciated and understood your emotions in the past, they will become valuable assets in the future. If the experience was painful and confusing, you will probably do your best to distance yourself from it. However, you should not even distance yourself from negative feelings, because acceptance and awareness of your emotional state is the key to understanding how experiences affect your thoughts and actions.

Ask yourself a few questions:

Are emotions accompanied by physical sensations in the stomach, throat, or chest?
Have you experienced feelings that were clearly reflected in your facial expressions?
Can you have strong feelings that completely consume your attention and the attention of others?
Do you keep track of your emotions when making decisions?

If there is even one negative answer, your emotions are suppressed or turned off. In order to have a healthy emotional intelligence, you must open up to experiences, let them into your comfort zone.

Here are the surest ways to improve your self-awareness:

Train mindfulness. That is, deliberately focusing attention on the present moment. Mindfulness is often associated with meditation in Buddhism, however, most of the world's religions practice something similar in the form of prayer. It relieves anxiety, calms and tones, fosters character.
Keep a diary. At the end of each day, write down what happened to you, how you felt, and how you dealt with difficulties. Look back periodically and analyze typical situations, note where you did not put the squeeze or overdo it.
Ask loved ones who they see you as. Testimonials from multiple people will expose your strengths and weaknesses. Don't forget to document everything and find patterns. The main thing is not to argue or object. It is important for you to look at yourself through someone else's eyes.

2. Self-control

Awareness of feelings is the first step to emotional management. You must use your emotions to make constructive decisions and build behaviors. When you become overly stressed, you can lose control of yourself and lose your thoughtfulness.

Think about how easy it is to rationally think in a state of overexertion. Probably not. This happens because the brain is withdrawn from thought processes and switches to an overabundance of feelings.

Emotions are important pieces of information; they tell us about ourselves and others. However, under stress, we become depressed and lose control of ourselves. Learn to deal with stress. This way you can control feelings and behavior, manage relationships, take initiative, follow through on commitments, and adapt to a changing world.

So how do you learn self-control? You've probably heard of the old-fashioned way of counting to ten when you are angry.

It is not always possible to suppress anger or depression, nevertheless, the physical push will be in place. Feeling tired - do some exercise. If you can't muster up your strength, slap yourself in the face. In general, use any physical stimulus that will result in mild shock and break the vicious circle.

3. Empathy

We constantly focus on what is most important to us. However, our emotions are only half of the relationship. All other people also have their own feelings, desires, triggers and fears. Therefore, empathy is an extremely important life skill.

Here are some tips to help you become an empath:

Talk less, listen more. This is the golden rule for any sincerely empathic person. Of course, you cannot let the whole gamut of another person's feelings pass through yourself, but you can try to hear him. Just let the person talk without interrupting them with your thoughts. This is difficult, especially if strong negative emotions are present. However, almost any bond will grow stronger just by waiting an extra few seconds before engaging in conversation.
Accept the opposite opinion contrary to your own position. To understand what motivates a person, you need to be in his place. If you think your boss is in a reckless state, try to justify it in your head. Perhaps you would have done the same if you had found yourself in his shoes.
Understand the difference between "I know" and "I understand you." The first indicates that you have allegedly had a similar life experience. The second suggests that you thought about the situation and played it on your own behalf. Of course, understanding other people's problems is a more trusting and truthful level of relationships.

Empathy implies your reaction, but it must be timely. If someone is about to burst into tears or is bursting with deep pain, do not try to muffle the feelings. The person needs to express emotions, and he will need your help.

4. Motivation

When we talk about motivation as a component of emotional intelligence, we mean an inner core, not psychological forces, to get your body out of bed. As psychologists say, our core is located in the prefrontal cortex of the brain. She begins to be active at the mere thought of completing a significant task.

The goal can be a career, a family, a work of art, or whatever, as long as it makes a difference in your life. When motivation gets down to business, it merges with reality, and we do real things. To start a family, motivated people start dating. In order to advance in the service, motivated people take on self-education.

How to find your core? First of all, you need to find out your own values. Many of us are so busy that we don't have time to dig into ourselves and set priorities. It is even worse if a person does work that directly contradicts his worldview and principles.

Secondly, you should transfer your goal to paper and paint it in detail. At the same time, it is necessary to understand that great success is greatly extended over time. It consists of small victories and bitterness of defeat.

5. Social skills

Social skills are the ability to understand non-verbal cues that people around you are constantly addressing to you. These signals give a clear idea of what the person is experiencing and what is really important to him. In order to receive non-verbal signals, you need to pause your thoughts, not think about the goals and objectives that you pursue while being close to the person.

Social skills cannot work for you if you are thinking about something other than the current event. When we are immersed in memories or transported into the future, we are simply not in the present. Because of this, it becomes problematic to catch subtle non-verbal signals.

Don't be under the illusion of multitasking. Yes, we can switch between topics very quickly, but in the transition, a subtle emotional shift is lost that helps us understand other people.

Social skills are good to improve by resolving disagreements:

Take time for each other and then come back to the problem. In a romantic relationship, you need to remind your partner that the criticism is caring and loving.
Make sure that both sides have a clear understanding of the cause of the conflict. Offer a mutually beneficial solution that takes into account mutual desires and eliminates additional requirements.
End on one note, even if it's not entirely positive. Let your boss, colleague, or significant other know that you are moving in the same direction, albeit from different points of view.

Along with resolving conflicts, you need to teach yourself to get acquainted, maintain a conversation, and play. At the same time, it is advisable to study in advance the mentality of people of different nations.