Kittenfishing: why people lie about themselves on dating sites and how to recognize it

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

If you don't want disappointment, be attentive to detail.

What is kittenfishing and catfishing

When communicating on the Internet - whether you're on a dating site or just chatting with someone on social media - you have to take people's word for it. And when it comes to meeting, sometimes unpleasant surprises can await us.

For example, you meet a young fit man on the Internet, but on a date it turns out that the site has a photo of ten years ago and your interlocutor has changed quite a lot. Or do you admire your favorite blogger, but then you see him in real life and understand that behind all the filters and beautiful words a completely different person is hiding. Such behavior on the Internet, in particular on dating sites, is called kittenfishing, and if a person completely invents a non-existent person for himself, it is called catfishing.

The second phenomenon got its name from the 2010 documentary Catfishing (in Russian - "How I was friends on a social network"). In this feed, the photographer Nev Shulman wanted to find a girl with whom he had been talking for many months on the Internet, the beautiful 19-year-old singer Megan. By the end of the film, it turned out that no Megan existed: she was invented by a middle-aged woman who lives a thousand miles from Shulman.

Since then, the term "catfishing" has been used to describe such situations. And kittenfishing is for easier cases when the interlocutor composes or changes only part of the facts about himself. Here's how it can manifest itself:

• a person posts old photographs in which they look different from what they are now;
• strongly changes pictures in graphic editors;
• underestimates or (less often) overestimates their own age;
• invents for himself non-existent regalia and achievements;
• ascribes to himself talents and skills;
• tells stories that never happened to him;
• carefully hides the flaws (of course, here we are talking about something more serious than a smeared pimple).

How to understand that you are being deceived

1. A person looks different in all photographs

Composition, length and color of hair, style of dress are very different. This may mean that the pictures were taken at different times, and it is not clear which ones are relevant.

2. Only close-up photos are displayed in the profile

Not a single shot in full growth, or at least waist-deep. Probably, your interlocutor is hiding his figure, for example, he is embarrassed by excess weight or other features of his appearance.

3. The pictures were taken from a strange angle, the person is almost always wearing a hat or sunglasses

Perhaps in this way the interlocutor is trying to hide features that seem unattractive to him. Or does not want to be recognized by someone from real acquaintances. So, he probably has something to hide.

4. Photos have too many filters and retouching

Too smooth, "plastic" skin, unrealistic proportions of the face and body, effects and masks like virtual makeup or dog ears - all this can change a person's appearance beyond recognition.

5. There are inconsistencies and gaps in the stories about yourself

The man says that he can play the violin, but does not know the nuances of the process. Claims that he graduated from a prestigious humanitarian university, but makes gross spelling and grammatical errors.

6. The portrait of the interlocutor looks too perfect

He knows 15 languages, is engaged in several sports, has traveled all over the world, was at the reception of the Dalai Lama, genius, billionaire, philanthropist. If the look is so brilliant and sleek, there is a risk that it really is just an image.

7. A person gives too general information about himself

For example, he says that he works in a consulting firm, but does not specify in which one and what he does there.

Why do people cheat on others on the internet

Psychologists put forward several hypotheses.

1. Cheaters are not sure of themselves

People are afraid that they are real, without a luxurious appearance and bright achievements, no one will like them. We have to embellish.

Excess weight, baldness, skin diseases such as acne or vitiligo, an asymmetrical face, scars, or even just exotic features of appearance can also become the reasons for complexes. A person with such characteristics may try to hide them - at least until he shows himself as an interesting person. So that a new acquaintance would eventually meet him according to his mind, and not according to his clothes.

2. They want to get emotions

For example, admiration: people will be much more delighted with the owner of a successful business than with an ordinary office worker. Or even compassion: for this, Internet deceivers sometimes come up with terrible diseases, difficult childhood and other difficulties.

Once I myself faced a similar one. I read the blog of a girl who said that her loved one crashed on a motorcycle and was in intensive care in a very serious condition. The tapes garnered dozens of sympathetic comments. People supported this girl, asked how she was doing, sent warm wishes. I was also very imbued with this story, worried about the owner of the blog and her husband, followed new posts.

Then someone found out that the whole story was a lie from beginning to end. The events are fictional, the characters are too, the photos are stolen from other sources. When the girl was taken out into the open, she admitted that she just really lacked attention and initially she did not plan to go so far in her inventions. By the way, she never asked for any money and even refused if she was offered to transfer.

How to avoid being cheated

1. Check the information

This will help search engines and accurate inquiries. The interlocutor tells you that he acted in films or won the All-Russian Olympiad in Mathematics? Google it to see if it is. Tells he is a polyglot? Ask him to casually translate a small text from a foreign language, which he, according to him, speaks. It also does not hurt to upload photos to a search engine to make sure that a person does not steal them from another site.

2. Offer to talk via video link

Of course, not from the first messages, but when communication has already begun and is gradually moving towards a meeting. Refusing a video call should be alarming.

3. Look for the accounts of the interlocutor in social networks

You can search by first and last name, email address, nickname - depending on what you know. All found pages can be used to verify information: name and place of residence, age, education, etc. If a person is telling the truth about himself, the data on different accounts will most likely match.