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2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44
How much do you earn? When is the wedding? Are you planning to have kids? Wow. Restrain your anger and respond appropriately.
Sometimes people around you forget about tact and ask such questions that they baffle with their arrogance. There is no desire to answer them frankly, and this is not necessary, because there are many ways to get away from the answer and avoid an awkward situation, while remaining within the bounds of decency.
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Diplomatic responses
Sometimes inappropriate questions come from completely strangers, with whom, nevertheless, there is no need to spoil the relationship. And even more so, do not satisfy their curiosity. Quite politely, but firmly, let them know that you do not intend to develop a discussion on the topic raised. Here's how you can answer:
- I would not like to talk about it.
- Sorry, but this is personal.
- No matter. Oh, well, what's the difference.
- Long story.
- Complex issue. I can't answer it straight away.
- Why are we all about me! Let's talk about you better.
- Sorry, I can't tell you that. I hope you understand.
By the way, the phrase "I hope you understand" works wonders. It makes your opponent realize that you consider him a polite and tactful person who knows himself why you cannot keep up the conversation on the topic he is talking about.
Your words will sound nicer if you say them with a smile.
Answers for the curious
What is tactless for some, for others can be a healthy curiosity, in which there is nothing to be ashamed of. Such people do not even realize that their questions have hurt you in some way. They are waiting for a sincere answer and will probably repeat their question if you try to hush up the conversation. Hints won't get you anywhere either.
For example, if you respond to an inappropriate question with a counter meaningful “Why are you asking?”, Be prepared for the fact that this will not work and the person will not understand that he asked too much. It may also happen that you will receive an answer that is stunning in its simplicity: "I'm just curious." After that, they will continue to wait for an answer from you. In this case, you have to say bluntly that you do not want to discuss this topic.
The dialogue may not end there, because your interlocutor will quite sincerely ask why you do not want to talk about it. And if you have the time and patience, it will be useful to really explain why you think the subject of the conversation is inappropriate. You will have to answer simply and directly:
- Because we discuss this issue only with our family and with no one else.
- Because this topic is unpleasant to me.
- Because it's personal and only concerns me.
- Because I promised not to talk about it.
- Because I don't like to share such things.
- Because I don't feel like it.
It is very important to say this in a calm tone, without a challenge in your voice. Let the other person know that you are not hostile, but you will not allow yourself to violate your boundaries.
It is more difficult if your interlocutor is not just curious, but deliberately seeks to embarrass you. In this case, there is no choice but to say directly that you will not answer this question and this topic is not discussed.
Answers with humor
The first reaction to a tactless question is shock and indignation. However, the person who asked him may not have done this to offend you or provoke a quarrel, but simply without thinking. Most often, this is the sin of friends and relatives, who are sure that we will always understand them correctly and will not be offended. To avoid conflict in these situations, try laughing it off:
- Is this an interrogation? I need a lawyer!
- How much do I get? And is it not only food that is given for work?
- It's a secret. Can you keep secrets? I can do it too.
- Of course I can tell you, but after that I have to kill you.
- When will you get married? Probably I won't be in time today. Maybe tomorrow.
This will throw the ball halfway across the field of your interlocutor. Now let him think about how to react to your joke.
Did you ask? We answer
How much do you earn?
- Enough for life.
- Thank you, I'm not complaining.
- I would like, of course, more, but who would not want, right?
When will you get married / have kids?
- Everything has its time.
- When we are ready to take on such responsibility.
- As soon as possible.
Why were you fired?
- Long story. Better tell me how you are doing.
- Oh, everything is so complicated there, I don't want to burden you with details.
- Because everything ends someday and it's time to move on.
Are you dating someone?
- Every day! Today, for example, we met with you.
- I'm not complaining about loneliness.
- I'll tell you later.
In addition to evasive answers, jokes and polite refusals, there is another option - not to say anything. You can just smile silently and let the question hang in the air. Chances are, your opponent will feel uncomfortable and want to change the subject.
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