What you need to know for a happy pregnancy: tips from Lesya Ryabtseva

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

About trust in doctors, the importance of support, an active life and ridiculous prejudices about pregnancy.

During pregnancy, I read so many horror stories that I do not want this to others. And I'd rather tell you about my discoveries and experiences so that someone is not so lonely. And I’ll also tell you all this with humor, of course, so that it’s not only not scary, but even fun. Most of all, for my pregnancy I lacked a sense of lightness and someone's support: they say, what are you, no ssy, that's all bullshit. But intimidation, unsolicited advice and criticism - more than enough. So read on and don't be afraid. I went through this, and you will.

Pregnancy is not a disease

And you are not crazy. Remember this, please. With pregnancy, inadequacy, insanity, impotence, disability and lack of independence do not come to you. Some acquaintances, after they found out about my situation, actually began to lead me by the arm.

Yes, you become more capricious, more frightened, or something, you want more affection and support. And this is normal, because you are flooded with waves of hormones, the environment presses, your own fears and insecurities do not allow you to sleep normally at night.

Once again: pregnancy is normal, not fatal and, most importantly, temporary.

In general, this thought about temporality is very important. You need to remember this, and when you are tired and something is wrong, and when, on the contrary, everything is fine. Enjoy the moment of pregnancy if possible and do not focus on the negative.

Everything a pregnant woman wants is the law

Although there is cement - this is already strange, and it is better to tell the doctor about this desire. By the way, this desire to eat something like that is called pikacism, or parorexia, or allotriophagy. Read about this and you will understand that, again, there is nothing strange and unnatural in this. If only there was no volvulus.

Stick to the rule that if you really want to, then nothing terrible will happen from one piece. Anyway, give yourself a discount - you are pregnant.

I’m not saying that you can eat everything, pour it over with alcohol and smoke like a locomotive. And there is no need to justify gluttony by pregnancy either. And such reasonable prohibitions as not eating raw meat and fish (although some doctors still allow sushi) exist for a reason.

I had to give up peanuts, chocolate, many dairy products, cherries, tangerines, bananas, strawberries and a dozen more foods, not because of doctors' advice or a strange diet, but because otherwise terrible allergies, rashes and heartburn began.

I adhered to the rule that if I want the same thing that I would want without pregnancy, then everything is in order. And for all 9 months I not only didn’t get "too much", but I also never faced the fact that I wanted something unusual and in gigantic volumes. Everything is the same that you want during PMS and menstruation. Ice cream, soda, marmalade, spicy.

Anxiety is contagious

Run away from everyone and everything that makes you worry. Yes, I don’t want to seem rude, and in general, how is it possible - to interrupt communication with someone. But this is necessary, believe me. I stopped communicating with anxious pregnant friends, with anxious not pregnant, but experienced acquaintances, anxious overprotective relatives …

There would be another way, I would have gone to them. But I had no choice - no requests, no comments, nothing helped to establish contact. I continued to be besieged with opinions and advice, and I continued to worry. This, of course, affected my mood, well-being, and my relationship with my husband, which again affected my well-being - and so on in a circle.

The most important thing for me during pregnancy was my condition and the health of the baby, not social connections. Whoever needs it will understand and draw some conclusion. And who does not - well thank you. You are not on the priority list. Now the priority is the baby.

Your body will change, and you will not predict exactly how

You can read about it, listen to the stories of experienced people, sit on the forums, but no one will ever feel these changes in the same way as you, and for you. You may be warned about one thing, but not told about another. Not because they did not want to or forgot, but simply because each pregnancy goes on in its own way. It is a small individual story within the same individual life. There are similarities, there are diagnoses, but still we are different. Everyone has their own perception, and what one does not notice can be a disaster for another.

I was distinguished by a terrible emotionality and sensitivity even before pregnancy. Therefore, early (relative to the medical "norm") I felt the first kicks of the baby, suffered from heartburn due to lack of sleep and diet, and because of laughter, I vomited. But at the same time, I easily overcame edema and shortness of breath, rode antelope while gaining weight, flew on an airplane from the beginning of pregnancy until the 35th week … In short, everything is individual and, yes, only partly predictable.

Life does not end - do what you are used to

As I said above, I flew by plane at all stages of pregnancy. Of course, after consulting a doctor and being confident in your condition. I worked until the contractions and was not going to go on maternity leave, which every third person asked me about (by the way, it infuriates). I am accustomed to an active lifestyle and do not understand why and how a baby can interfere with this.

Of course, I had to give up active, more precisely extreme sports, I could not go on a yacht trip with my husband, and I had to sleep and eat much more than usual. But the rest is the same. In the end, the child should see and know a happy mother, and I will not be happy without the usual and favorite things. If you are accustomed to running, then consult your doctor, and if your health is in order, keep running. I remember how I was sobered by videos with pregnant women who pull weight with sickly dumbbells and catch a wave on the surf.

Yes, awareness and responsibility for the life of another person is added, but your life is not interrupted.

Different doctors are needed, different doctors are important

I'll say a terrible thing now (oh my god), but doctors can be wrong. Yes, yes, how dare I. But to doubt someone else's opinion, even a medical one, is normal.

The first gynecologist from a private clinic convinced me that I:

• well, not pregnant in any way;
• I have a tumor and need an operation;
• you do not need to take tests, because she is 99% right, and leaves the last percent to the will of God.

Thank you, at least I left this percentage. Another gynecologist also denied pregnancy for a couple of our friends and generally said that they were incompatible and would never be able to make common children.

Ask for a second opinion, go to consultations with different specialists, listen to your inner voice. Of course, a doctor has education, experience and authority, but you are also responsible for living with the decision you have made.

In the end, to follow the doctor's instructions and whether to go to a doctor at all is initially your decision, no one forces you. They warn about risks, write prescriptions and send them to procedures, but in the end, all of you, all by yourself.

How many times during my pregnancy I was prescribed a terrible heresy, from which at least there was absolutely no effect, and at the most it got worse. How often the doctor could not answer the question: "Why is this necessary?" And how many times during my pregnancy I heard unscientific obscurantist nonsense from doctors, I don't even want to remember.

And no, there is no need here about the fact that I went to provincial clinics and was to blame. All the doctors to whom I signed up had specialized education, which speaks of the quality of it in our country, and some had dissertations, many years of experience behind their backs, conferences, research and others like them.

Of course, not all doctors and not always terrible. I'm talking about the fact that it is important to find out yourself, to be interested and understand that only you bear real responsibility for your health and for the condition of the child.

Hypotheses need to be supported by a foundation of knowledge

This applies to what is written above, and to what you hear from friends, and what will seem to you.

Here I will just leave the most "brilliant" opinions and advice, which were presented to me by almost passing people.

The dried fruit seller said that pregnant women shouldn't have churchkhela. It turned out, as I later read from the Internet, it is not advised to eat it because of the starch in the composition. Point one: why the dried fruit seller decided that I needed his advice. Point two: believe me, nothing will happen to you from churchkhela alone (unless, of course, you are allergic to the ingredients).

The landlord advised me not to raise my hands up - he saw me reaching for a jar of spices on the top shelf. It's good that the moment when I was cleaning the mezzanine went unnoticed. I never received any arguments from the landlord himself, it was something like: "I already have three, I know better." The Internet reports that raising hands is dangerous because the umbilical cord can entwine the baby. It is surprising that, according to the same principle, the movement of the arms to the sides does not tie sea knots on the umbilical cord.

I will leave without deep analysis the most commonplace prejudices: for example, about the fact that a pregnant woman should not cut her hair.

I do not mind receiving good advice, even if it is unsolicited. But I want a person to not just carry some heresy, but at least somehow explain why this is so and not otherwise.

No one knows better than yourself

If you think that you definitely need to be tested every two weeks, you want to give birth using a caesarean section, and after birth, the child should sleep with you in bed, you will carry it in an ergonomic backpack, and bottle feed with a mixture - your choice.

If you are sure that this is better / more convenient / calmer, then it is.

Do not listen to anyone except those whose opinion you trust. Better yet, find out different opinions and add your own. To each his own, each child is individual. And only you can know what is right for you.

Support and support is essential

You can't do without her. It can be a doctor, sister, mom, girlfriend, friend - anyone! It was my husband. It was he who protected me from other people's influence, endured and fulfilled whims, soothed and loaded me with gifts. Without my husband, I definitely would not have done it. And now I understand that without a person who is always on your side, it will be not just difficult for you, but unbearable. Indeed, for pregnancy you need to make so many decisions, so much responsibility, sort out a heap of knowledge. Without someone to help you stay insane, this is extremely difficult.

It is also important to remember that this person needs gratitude and feedback. He takes care of you, gives you affection and care, which means that somewhere he himself must replenish these reserves. Give thanks, remember his needs, note how important he is.

Seek Care, Avoid Intimidation

Some midwives who preach natural pregnancy and natural childbirth have a theory of bullying and caring. It is difficult to distinguish one from the other, but I'm sure pregnant women will understand me. There are those "caring", after whose words I do not want to live, let alone give birth. And yes, they justify their behavior with love: they say, we are so worried about you. But, honestly, it would be better not to worry.

Explain to others that instead of telling you that you look bad, eat a little / a lot, wheeze strangely, sniff and grunt, it is better to say that you look very fresh and cheerful and in general do a great job. Instead of saying whether you should walk more or, conversely, move less, let them call you to the museum or join watching TV shows on the couch.

And you yourself do not instill fear in your fellow mothers - they, just like you, devour themselves from the inside with doubts.

No one harasses themselves as much as pregnant women, you know. Better keep in one flock. Once a woman came up to me, stroked my shoulder and said: "You are gorgeous."After these words, I was ready not only to move mountains, but even to reach the remaining period, although with edema and extra pounds it is oh, how difficult it is.

In fact, the only thought I wanted to convey was that no one would tell you how to be you. You will make your mistakes, there will be your own disappointments, and your own discoveries. It took me time and strong faith of my husband to understand that only I am my own mentor and teacher. After all, I am a mother, and this is not only a role in the life of a child, it is also an internal reconfiguration of oneself. Brace yourself. Your long journey has begun.