How to accept and love yourself: 6 tips from Lesya Ryabtseva

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

To be loved by others, you first need to love yourself.

You can be thin, fat, tall or short, wise, fast, slow, you can be disciplined or sloppy … You can be anything, even almost perfect, but it is not a fact that you will be loved. But everyone knows: in order for others to love you, you first need to love yourself. Below I have collected tips for those who want to get to know themselves in real life, accept themselves and fall in love.

1. Don't please others

We often act out of a false sense of duty or guilt. Attitudes such as "we must" and "it is accepted" alienate us from our own desires. Altruism is fine as long as it does not contradict healthy selfishness. Helping others is good and voluntary, but optional.

Before you take on unnecessary obligations, make sure that it does not harm you in any way.

2. Stop liking everyone

Striving to please others, we often forget about our own desires, our health and interests. The most stupid desire is to please everyone, because it is simply impossible. The banal "how many people, so many opinions" should free us from paying attention to other people's criticism, but no. We are still subconsciously looking for our own people, those who will approve and praise, and for a reason: we are social beings. And nevertheless, public opinion is divided into two: it changes like the wind.

3. Don't be afraid to say "no" and "yes"

We are afraid to refuse, even if we really do not want to do something, because we are worried that we will be considered unresponsive, selfish. And you just need to learn to say "no" respectfully.

We are in no hurry to say yes, as if we were afraid to seem intrusive or, even worse, too ambitious, as if it were bad to want more than what we already have. There is nothing wrong with declaring your desires and saying "yes" without aggression, without offending others.

4. Set aside an hour a day for yourself

Sometimes, in a hurry between rushing from home to work and home from work, we may even forget to eat, being distracted by everyday routine. Set aside one hour a day and one day a week to be alone with you. You can devote them completely to yourself without remorse. Warn family and friends that at this time you will not be able to respond to their requests.

It is advisable to plan this hour for yourself either early in the morning, before all the chores, until you are worried about household and work chores, or already before bedtime, when all the chores are finished and thoughts about them will not be distracting.

5. Don't talk bad about yourself

The golden rule of morality “Treat people the way you want them to treat you” also works in the other direction:

Treat yourself the way you want people to treat you.

Have you noticed how the behavior of others changes when someone of higher status enters the room? Or someone very handsome? And even, maybe not so handsome, but confident? But it's just a matter of self-perception. And who wants to respect a person who does not respect himself and scolds. Pseudo-humility and modesty do not paint, but give others a reason for nagging.

6. Plan your vacation

The very thought that vacation is coming soon will cheer you up no worse than expecting Friday, and memories of your past vacation will help you hold out until the next one.

These days you can afford to do whatever you want: arrange a holiday of disobedience in an adult way. Plan a movie trip, restaurant, beauty salon or travel trip, save money to buy a new set-top box or pottery class. Such vents will help to reveal previously unknown potential and show what you really want to do.