How to stop self-destruction and make friends with yourself

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

It is not difficult to stop interfering with your life and change for the better. The main thing is to adhere to certain tips and be honest with yourself.

Imagine a friend who points out your every mistake, constantly repeats that you are not good for anything, and stops attempts to change for the better.

You tell him, "I decided to quit smoking." To which he replies: "Come on, your whole family smokes, your friends are all smokers, don't make this up, you don't have a single chance to quit." It is unlikely that you greatly appreciated such a friend …

But often we do this to ourselves. We know that some habits are bad for us, but we still continue to follow them. We feel that we must do something for our health and well-being, but we usually neglect it.

It turns out that the worst enemy that interferes with a normal life is ourselves.

How to understand that you are preventing yourself from living

The first thing to do is to track bad habits, to realize that they spoil life.

The problem is that any habits become a part of life, like brushing your teeth before bed or watching the news feed in the evenings. You don't even notice what you are doing. To deal with bad influences, you need to identify your bad habits.

Consider your day from the beginning. Let's say you are in the habit of skipping breakfast or quickly eating a sandwich and washing it down with strong coffee. You don't even notice it, although you have heard more than once about how important it is to have a full breakfast. Or, for example, you are used to a sedentary lifestyle and during the day you do not think about getting up and walking around or stretching a little.

Analyzing every aspect of your life and identifying bad habits and actions is the first step to starting to fight them.

Find out the reasons

When you have a list of things that get in the way of your life, think about the reasons for your behavior. Maybe you don't meditate because you don't have enough time or are bored with it? Or do you overeat because you want to numb the discomfort from work or family problems? Maybe you are because you are afraid of responsibility or you are not interested in the work you are doing?

Be honest with yourself - go through different reasons until you find the real prerequisites for your destructive behavior.

7 ways to get rid of self-destruction

1. Protect yourself from harmful thoughts

Sometimes we develop strong erroneous beliefs that are extremely difficult to overcome. It seems to you that they are part of you, but they are not. A person is plastic by nature and can accept any attitude, if it takes a long time and persistently to form it. This ability can be useful. Track down the beliefs that prevent you from living: low self-esteem, lack of opportunity for change, and so on.

Ask yourself questions, become your own psychoanalyst. For example, if you feel uncomfortable in a company, ask yourself: "Why did I decide that shyness is my natural quality?", "What prevents me from communicating freely?", "When it started?".

None of your negative qualities, taken for granted, should not be left without consideration. Avoid answers: "I am like that by nature", "This is my destiny", "There is nothing you can do here." Remember that everything can be changed.

2. Create a life in which you don't have to fight with yourself

When something that you do not like appears in your life, you begin to struggle with it in one way or another. For example, if you hate your job, you are late, do your job poorly, quarrel with colleagues and bosses. At the same time, you do not quit, but the whole struggle takes place on a subconscious level and spoils your life.

Make sure that there is no room in your life for a war with yourself. Either accept things as they are, or try to change them.

3. Make a conscious choice

If you choose your own business, friend, life partner, sport or something else, do it consciously, be ready for anything. For example, if you want to create your own business, then be prepared not only for the fact that you will have money and independence, but also for risks, the possibility of failure and lack of free time. If you decide to get married, then in addition to love and life with your loved one, you may expect a partial loss of freedom, everyday problems and periodic quarrels.

4. Stop procrastinating

We don't take on things when we expect them to be boring, scary, or unbearable. Basically, we put off what scares us. To defeat fear, start small and don't think about what lies ahead. Complete tasks that take no more than five minutes. This will help you get rid of the fear and start tackling more challenging tasks.

5. Destroy harmful beliefs with actions

To overcome negative beliefs and habits, thoughts alone are not enough, action is needed. For example, if you feel that your opinion is not appreciated, try to speak up more often in public meetings, suggest new ideas, and state your point of view. Gradually, your negative attitude will change to a positive one.

6. Don't chase the ideal, welcome gradual progress

If you are, any failure can unsettle you and make you wonder if it was worth starting a business at all. The pursuit of the ideal ends in tears and broken hopes. Instead, welcome incremental progress, praise yourself for any accomplishments, and don't beat yourself up for failures. Remember that failure, like success, is part of every endeavor.

7. Remember that life is finite

We forget that life can end at any moment, and no one knows what will happen next. If you don't create something worthwhile now, when will you do it? And who is stopping you from doing everything you want, if not yourself? Who can forbid you to be happy if not you? When you think about breaking bad habits later, remember that this may not be the case.

Quit self-destruction now. You can become yourself a friend who does not give bad advice and does not scold for miscalculations, who will always console, support and come to the rescue.