What to do when you're single (but want a relationship)

Don't judge yourself through relationships

Your value does not in the least depend on the presence or absence of a pair. This is hard to believe because modern culture extols those who have found the other half. The meaning of life is personal happiness - we hear about this from every iron. The lonely ones are looked down upon, ridiculed, despised and even feared.

The more we avoid loneliness, the weaker our ability to experience it and the more it scares us.

Michael Finkel American journalist, writer, author of the book "I Eat Silence with Spoons"

This is actually a clever use of basic instinct. Two people of equal value enter into a relationship. Their importance is confirmed long before the start of a romantic relationship.

Remember, even if you don't have a mate, you are a wonderful and worthy person. There will always be those who will condemn you for being alone. You shouldn't pay attention to them: nerves are more expensive.

Find hobbies

The secret of many successful people is to be passionate about what they are doing. It gives energy and strength to move forward.

Find a job that will captivate you and give you satisfaction. This is not a way to kill time while you are alone. These are new ideas that fill and decorate life.

Life makes sense if it has passion.

Don't confuse infatuation with obsession. The latter is exhausting, drains energy and easily turns into an addiction.

Apperciate things which you have

A lonely person often thinks that he is deprived of something and because of this is unhappy. There is a rational explanation for this. The point is that the brain is better at remembering negative experiences. This is essential for survival and evolution. Therefore, it is generally difficult for us to appreciate what we have. It is doubly difficult for a lonely person to appreciate their achievements.

Take time to pause and be happy with what you have. And these are not necessarily material goods: apartments, cars and oil rigs. There are people who would give half their lives for the opportunity to read this text with their own eyes or see the sun at least once.

You can have little and do more with it.

Periodic reassessment has a beneficial effect on the brain: it increases the production of serotonin and dopamine. It is also helpful for creating and maintaining positive thinking habits.

And do not hesitate to thank the people you love: they make you happier and love you, whether you are in a relationship or not.

Give more to get more

Today it is somehow unfashionable to open yourself up and help others. We are all focused on ourselves and on the houses that we carry around like snails. But the more you give to others, the more you get in return.

Many people are stopped by the thought “I cannot do anything that will globally change people's lives, so there is no point in doing anything at all”. In the meantime, even tiny attempts matter. Volunteering can help you connect with others and bring goodness into your life, especially when it seems dull and boring.

In general, do good, no matter how small.

Love yourself

If you don't love yourself, how will someone else love you? Relationships are not magic. The dull Dr. Jekyll will not turn into the flamboyant and sexy Mr. Hyde. If your life does not bring you pleasure, an affair with another person is unlikely to help. And from loneliness, by the way, will not save.

Clever is the one who knows people. The one who knows himself is enlightened. Victory over people gives power, victory over oneself gives power.

Lao Tzu, the ancient Chinese philosopher of the 6th-5th centuries BC. NS.

Relationships are not the meaning of life, but just one of its facets. If you have an interesting life, the other person will want to be a part of it. Therefore, invest in yourself, in your development. Love yourself and others will catch up.