How to do cunnilingus correctly: expert advice

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Sexologist Vanessa Marin believes that it is quite easy to bring a girl to orgasm.

Cunnilingus is undeservedly considered one of the most difficult sexual activities. Apparently, this stereotype follows from another - about the "complexity" and "mysteriousness" of female genitalia. The tips below will refute this absurd opinion.

I will add that Ian Kerner, author of She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide To Pleasuring A Woman, helped me in creating them. I consider this to be one of the best sex guides out there that goes over every aspect of cunnilingus and provides a bunch of techniques.

But let's finally move on to the instructions.

1. Let your partner relax

Many women experience discomfort during cunnilingus. For some, it is associated with complexes about their own smell and taste, or with confidence in the "ugliness" of their genitals. Others worry that the man doesn't like doing it. Still others do not like to be in the spotlight and cannot relax. As a rule, a woman is hypercritical about her body, so your eyes, nose and mouth in the most sensitive and vulnerable area of her cause at least a slight resistance.

Of course, you cannot change your partner's sense of self at once. But you can help her relax. Körner says that a lot of success will depend on your perception of oral sex.

One of the main misconceptions about cunnilingus is that it is not as enjoyable as penetrative intercourse. Fact: For a huge number of women, the opposite is true.

So let the girl know that you are taking the process seriously, that this is not a prelude to the "main part" for you and that it really turns you on.

In the chapter titled The Cunnilingus Manifesto, Körner provides three postulates that a man needs to learn in order to enjoy the process with his partner:

1. During cunnilingus, you forget about yourself: now your pleasure depends on her pleasure.
2. Take your time: she deserves all the time in the world. And you want to enjoy every moment.
3. Her smell is exciting, her taste is amazing. And both of them are part of a beautiful nature.

If you can show your partner that everything is exactly like this for you, then you will be one of the few super lovers.

2. Prepare your partner and yourself for long-term enjoyment

Foreplay before cunnilingus is another way to relax and excite a girl. Plus it is simply necessary: the clitoris is too sensitive, taking it impudently is not the best solution. So take the time to kiss, hug, touch, tell your fantasies. And only when the woman is sufficiently aroused, move on to the genitals. But there, too, there is no need to rush: start with light movements of the tongue up and down.

Please note: even after this preparation, the partner will reach orgasm in an average of 20 minutes. Therefore, take care of your comfort.

Make sure your body is in a comfortable extended position. Try to position your lips and tongue at a 45-degree angle rather than a 90-degree angle - this will make it easier for you. To do this, rest your gums on the partner's body, and with your head on her leg. For this to be possible, her legs must be close enough to each other.

If you don't like doing cunnilingus while lying down, you can kneel by the bed. But whichever method you choose, make sure that you are comfortable and ready to take all the actions without haste.

3. Master the basic cunnilingus technique

Another important rule: during cunnilingus, it is better to be gentle and methodical, and not rude and unpredictable. This means you need to find a way your partner likes and stick to it.

Körner offers the following basic techniques:

1. After preparing, focus on licking the anterior commissure area (the area just above the head of the clitoris where the labia meet). From time to time, caress the clitoris itself with your tongue and index finger.
2. With increasing arousal, penetrate the vagina: first with your tongue, then with one or two fingers. But don't back and forth. Better to press your fingers against the front wall of the vagina where the G-spot should be, and continue to stimulate the clitoris with your tongue.
3. With your free hand, caress your partner's breasts, abdomen and other erogenous zones.

This method can be used as a starting point. However, don't forget that every woman has her own preferences. Some people like simultaneous oral and manual stimulation, others don't. Some people reach orgasm faster when they lick the clitoris, others when they suck. Observe the girl to see what brings her more pleasure. Better yet, ask directly: she's probably in the know.

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4. And again: pay attention to the anterior commissure

The anterior lip commissure is an area that is often ignored in cunnilingus due to its criminal proximity to the well-known clitoris. Körner claims that the pressure on this area stimulates the body of the internal clitoris (yes, the head is just the tip of the iceberg).

He suggests using the following method: Press your upper lip or gum over the clitoral hood and lick the area around the clitoris. If your mouth is at a 45-degree angle to the woman's body, depict an Elvis Presley smile - this lip position will make the process easier.

5. Prepare for orgasm

As the partner approaches the final, Körner advises to close her legs tighter to increase the stimulation.

But the more important thing to learn: don't change the rhythm and the way of stimulation itself (unless your partner asks otherwise).

For most women, stable caresses are the main key to orgasm. Therefore, when you find the same method, do not change it. Otherwise, you risk being left in the bedroom with an upset girl.

One final tip: remember that the clitoris is very sensitive after orgasm. Give your partner a break from cunnilingus before moving on to new activities. And of course, don't forget to tell her how much you enjoyed it and congratulate yourself on a job well done!