Table of contents:
- 1. Praise others rather than yourself
- 2. Demonstrate your strengths in difficult times
- 3. Learn to make decisions
- 4. Don't be afraid to be vulnerable
- 5. Become an example for others
2023 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-05-22 06:26
Develop them to make friends, build a relationship with a partner, or become a good leader.
1. Praise others rather than yourself
A good leader takes on a little more blame than he deserves and a little less credit than he should.
Arnold Glazow American scientist
We used to think that the most important thing is to demonstrate our merits and win recognition. But you’re unlikely to be successful by telling others how much you’ve done. People usually judge you by what you choose and how you act.
Therefore, when something good happens to your friends (they have achieved some goal or received a reward), do not skimp on praise. But don't praise yourself, even if you've had a little hand in their success.
This will kill two birds with one stone. First, show the person in a good light and make them happy. Anyone will be pleased that you notice their achievements and appreciate them. Perhaps this will even help him develop further. Second, you will set an example. When you accomplish something important yourself, you don't have to brag - your friends will praise you.
2. Demonstrate your strengths in difficult times
Better to stay in the background and put others first, especially when you are celebrating a victory or something good. Step forward when danger approaches. Then people will appreciate you as a leader.
Nelson Mandela politician
Support in difficult times "cements" relationships and helps them develop. Maybe you took a friend to the doctor when he didn't have the strength to get there, did something for him while he was depressed, or helped him find a job. Joint overcoming of difficulties brings together the best in the world.
Psychologist James Graham was convinced of this when he researched what strengthens the bond between partners. During the experiment, 20 couples wrote to scientists several times a day what they were doing at the moment, what their mood was and how they were treating their partner right now.
After analyzing more than a thousand such notes, Graham found that couples who regularly do something difficult together feel more sympathy for each other, and their relationship is closer. And this is true not only for romantic but also for any other type of interaction.
3. Learn to make decisions
The true leader is not the one who seeks mutual agreement, but the one who creates it.
Martin Luther King American Baptist preacher, social activist
Most people spend a lot of time asking others what they want and trying to come to a common agreement. Leaders make decisions. Of course, the opinions of others are also important, but weighing the options too long is often not good. To avoid wasting time, leaders come up with a solution they like and make others feel like it comes from them. This applies to both work projects and movie or restaurant choices.
For example, you want to watch a movie with someone. Say, “I want to see a movie. I heard X is very funny. Do you want to see something? " That is, start with a vague phrase, go to specifics and end with a question that is likely to be answered the way you want. If you disassemble this technique point by point, you get the following:
- You say you want to watch a movie.
- Offer a specific feed that interests you.
- Ask if your friend wants to watch a movie.
By agreeing to the last question, the friend is likely to take your offer positively as well. Don't forget to add a characteristic (good, funny, entertaining) to it. Such a positive assessment will help to persuade the person in your direction.
4. Don't be afraid to be vulnerable
Anyone who wants to conduct an orchestra must turn their backs on the crowd.
Max Lucado writer
We are afraid to be completely open with other people and show them our weaknesses. I want to hide so as not to give a reason for unpleasant statements. But look at the situation differently: some people don't like you and some people don't like you. By closing, you may be avoiding criticism, but you are missing out on a lot.
Good leaders overcome this fear of vulnerability to share their crazy ideas with the world. Some of these ideas have evolved into the gadgets we all use today or the movies we watch. The same is true in personal communication. You can spend time with people and have fun in general, but true friendship comes from sharing genuine thoughts and not hiding from others.
Absolute honesty is scary, but it is she who convinces others that a person is a great leader. He does not have to say this because he demonstrates leadership qualities with his behavior, remaining himself. By doing the same in a personal relationship, you can lose a few people you know, but you can make good friends.
5. Become an example for others
Be the yardstick for quality.
Steve Jobs entrepreneur, co-founder of Apple
It is not within your power to force others to change, but you can lead by example. If you don't like some behavior in others, never do it yourself. Be guided by this principle in both work and personal relationships.
For example, if a friend did something that hurt you, don't reciprocate. Pay attention to the problem, but do it in a respectful manner. Good friends will learn this and will do the same. Or if you hate those who park without leaving a place to leave for others, never park your own car that way. Even little things like this will demonstrate to your friends that you strive to become better, and many will follow your example.