How love can change the quality of your life

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

And how to feed it so that it does not fade away.

My job is to write about passion and efficiency. I know that winning a medal, making a deal, or getting promoted is very enjoyable. But I am beginning to believe more and more that love is important for a long, happy and healthy life. This is not just some kind of spiritual truth - scientific research also confirms this.

Over the past 80 years, Harvard scientists have monitored the physical and emotional well-being of over 700 participants. This was one of the longest and most detailed studies of this type. Many conclusions are quite expected: one should not drink too much alcohol, not smoke, exercise, eat well, and constantly learn something new.

But according to psychiatrist George Vaillant, who has led the study for over 30 years, love is a key component of a long, healthy, and happy life.

The quality of the relationship has an incredible impact on the quality of life.

The deeper and fuller they are, the better. The words "relationship" and "love" usually evoke associations with the union of two people, but this is too narrow a concept. After all, you can be in love with some occupation, community or nature. In any case, if the feeling is sincere, you will benefit.

However, it is not so easy to love, no matter whether it is a person or an occupation. Love is an ongoing process and needs to be nourished. In our time, when a constant desire to be online and a culture of consumption reign in society, this is especially difficult.

Abstraction, busyness, and an incessant desire for something more are the opposite of love. Because of them, she is relegated to the background or completely ousted, because she needs care and attention.

Caring is expressed in sincere participation in someone or something.

It is not a passing interest that changes with the advent of something new. It must be unchanged.

For example, if you have been into gardening for a month and have regularly tended your plantings, they will grow. But if after that your interest subsides and you water them, only when you have nothing else to do, the plants will wither and die. They, like love, need constant care in order to bloom.

And you also need attention. Be fully present in the moment. Don't be distracted by thoughts of where you want or should be. When we truly give our full attention to something, the line between us and the object of that attention becomes blurred.

We experience a sense of unity: we become the picture we paint or the forest we walk through. We feel ourselves as one with a loved one. The philosopher George Leonard wrote that such sensations are places "where God lives." Perhaps love also lives in them. Maybe it's the same thing at all.

You can argue for a long time about what love is, but it is pretty clear what it is not. This is not a quick problem solving hack. Not like on social networks or the number of friends. Not constant distraction from business or communication with a person to check the phone.

To love is to dissolve in caring and attention to someone or something. In joy and sorrow.

It is both simple and difficult at the same time. But it's worth it. Plus, you don't have to make a heroic effort to fuel love. For example, here's what I'm trying to do:

• Take a weekly long walk without your phone.
• Read about what interests me without going to social networks after each chapter.
• Turn off all electronic devices at seven in the evening to be with your family.
• Don't get hung up on the results, but immerse yourself in the process.
• Play sports without looking at your watch.
• Build deep connections with people, even if it sometimes involves sacrificing productivity.

Any area contains the potential for love, and therefore for a happy life. Just take a little care and attention to see it.