What Happens to People in Long-Term Relationships: 5 Scientifically Proven Facts

1. They come up with their own idioms

No foreigner will understand, without explanation, the hidden essence of the expression "to beat the thumbs up". However, English idioms are no better. In pairs, internal phraseological units also appear, which have no meaning for outsiders.

The language of the "initiates" is a sure sign that people live on the same wavelength. According to a study by the American scientist Robert Hopper, a scientist in the field of speech communication, a secret language serves two functions: it binds bonds, romantic or platonic, and also gives rise to a common personality. Professor Hopper points to a direct link between unique communication habits and intimacy in relationships. Psychologist Carol Bruess of Ohio University echoes him.

Professor Brousse studied the relationship between the use of idiosyncratic expressions and satisfaction with family life in 308 volunteers. Among the participants were both newlyweds and people who have been married for over 50 years. The study confirmed the hypothesis that happy husbands and wives use more idioms.

2. They turn off censorship

Most people talk to strangers in a completely different way than they do with friends and, of course, with a partner. We control our speech and adjust our behavior so as not to make a bad impression and to please the people around us.

Alone with his soul mate, a person retreats from such behavior and switches to natural speech.

We stop caring about what people think of us and stop holding ourselves back. It turns out this way more sincerely and openly.

Psychologist Daniel Kahneman of the University of California, Berkeley gives a familiar analogy. At first, most of us are careful with our colleagues. We do not dare to make bold statements and double-check the facts in our head, so as not to blurt out something superfluous. Over time, this barrier gradually disappears.

3. They become similar in appearance to each other

It remains a mystery why dog lovers are like their pets. But we can say with confidence why close people after many years acquire common facial features.

The reason for the surprising effect is described in a study by psychologist Robert Zajonc of the University of Michigan. The scientist wondered why couples, who initially do not have much in common, gradually become similar to each other?

In search of an answer, Professor Zaejonk's team asked 20 married couples for photos and arranged them in random order in two stacks: the first contained the newlyweds, and the second a quarter of a century later. Then the observers looked for couples among them. Finding newlyweds turned out to be problematic. But those who celebrated the silver wedding showed the same wrinkles and facial contours.

Over the years, people have unconsciously imitated the facial expressions and emotions of their spouses. They used the same muscles so often that they mirror each other.

4. Their speech starts to sound the same

Long-term relationships affect the syntactic structure of speech and its rhythm. This is in part the result of a psychological phenomenon called emotional contagion. Two people start imitating someone else's speech when they spend a lot of time together.

We imitate everything: from accent to the number and length of pauses our partner makes between words and sentences.

Scientists analyzed the text messages of several dozen couples and came to an interesting conclusion: the likelihood of continuing a relationship three months after they met was higher if young people coordinated their sound in terms of vocabulary and language structure.

5. They copy each other's body language

Scientists suggest that shared life experiences and shared knowledge are the underlying reason why couples repeat each other's elusive movements. Memories shape specific body language, gestures, postures, words and phrases. For example, a group of scientists from the University of California noticed the same eye reaction in partners when familiar information sounded in a spontaneous conversation.