How to motivate your child to study

Choosing motivation - internal and external

We rarely think about intrinsic motivation. These are our sincere desires, and to explain our condition, one word is enough - “I want”. Children enjoy listening to the music of their favorite band, making something with their own hands, or reading adventure novels because they enjoy doing it.

Extrinsic motivation can be different - from pocket money to grades at school. It boils down to the phrase: "Do this, and you will get this."

Psychologist Alfie Cohn in the book "" warns not only parents, but also teachers against various rewards. Some parents promise to take their child to the zoo for good studies, others buy gadgets or even pay money. The problem is that it doesn’t work: the student is doing just as badly, and in addition, he is also offended that he did not receive what he was promised!

Teachers are trying to motivate in seemingly more noble ways: they introduce various titles (best student of the month), give indulgences to good students. Most often it happens like this: the same child becomes the best student of the month, and a narrow circle of schoolchildren, whose composition never changes, receives relief. Others just feel like failures.

Why extrinsic motivation doesn't work

When we say, "Do this and you will get this," the child at first takes the promise with enthusiasm. Along with this, the instinct of self-preservation works for him.

The child begins to look not for a creative way of solving the problem, but for the most reliable and shortest one.

He asks himself: “Why take the risk and take the test yourself? It is better to write off from an excellent student, so it is more reliable. It turns out that there is a substitution of goals: not study for the sake of knowledge, but study for the sake of receiving an award.

Extrinsic motivation can work great, but only with intrinsic motivation. By itself, she does not move forward, but forces him to "serve the number", to get what you want as soon as possible, cursing what you are doing for this.

What influences interest in learning

Cohn identifies three factors that affect motivation:

Small children are ready to learn and do not demand anything for it. They have a highly developed intrinsic motivation: they learn simply because they are interested in it.
Those children who have retained intrinsic motivation learn effectively. And the rest are considered incapable, but this is not so. Some schoolchildren receive solid deuces, but at the same time they prove themselves in other areas. For example, they know by heart dozens of songs of their favorite artist (but in algebra they cannot remember the multiplication table). Or they avidly read science fiction (while they don't touch classical literature). They are just interested. This is the essence of intrinsic motivation.
Rewards destroy intrinsic motivation. Psychologists Carol Ames and Carol Dweck have found that if parents or teachers place an emphasis on some kind of reward, then children's interest invariably decreases.

Where to begin

Getting back to motivation to study is a long process, and success largely depends on the parents. Adults first of all need to think about the three "S": content, cooperation and freedom of choice.

Content. When a child does not comply with our request, we look for ways to influence his behavior. Start with something else: think about how reasonable your request is. Probably, nothing terrible will happen if in physics the child receives not only fours and fives. And children ignore the request “not to make noise” not because they are disobedient, but because of the psychological characteristics of their age.
Cooperation. Unfortunately, many parents are not familiar with this word in the context of communication with a child. But the older your children are, the more often you should involve them in cooperation. Discuss, explain, make plans together. Try to talk to your child like an adult. Do not take hostility to the desire of a 15-year-old boy to become an astronaut. Calmly explain why you think this is unrealistic. Perhaps, in your words, the son will find an internal motivation for growth.
Freedom of choice. The child should feel like a part of the process, then he will be more responsible in solving problems. When he misbehaves, ask him why. You may argue that you already know what the matter is, but try it anyway. Perhaps the answer will surprise you!

Looking for intrinsic motivation

It is not easy to correct the inner state of a child, but still work in this direction can bear fruit.

Learn to accept your child. For example, you may not like your daughter's new image, but you have to accept it. In other words, it's not about indulgence, it's about understanding.
Have a heart-to-heart talk. If you and your child are close enough, just talk to get started. Ask what he is interested in and what problems arise in his studies. Find a way out of the situation together.
Help your child decide on the work of life. Often there is no intrinsic motivation, because the child does not understand why he even needs these formulas, endless rules and theorems. It is important to decide what the child wants to do after school. Long conversations with parents, counseling on career guidance, and books for teenagers will help to understand this.
Build the educational process on the hobbies of the child. In studying, you need to try to combine the child's sincere interests (intrinsic motivation) with school subjects. This process is individual and requires a lot of attention from the parents. For example, you can learn English using your favorite movies (there are even whole programs dedicated to cult films). And a teenager who loves computer games will certainly be carried away by programming and the sciences associated with it.

Pulling this intrinsic motivation out of the child is the task of the tasks. But for sensitive, thinking, sincerely interested parents, this will not be a problem.

Based on the book "Punishment by Reward".