Why you shouldn't leave your comfort zone and what to do with it then

You may have seen motivating pictures where “Comfort Zone” is written next to a small circle, and outside of it there is an area where “miracles happen”. Actually, such illustrations best express the popular idea: in order to develop and achieve good results, and not live your own dull, gray life, you must definitely overcome yourself and do something difficult and unpleasant.

This idea has been replicated so much that it seems to be an axiom. But the truth is, you don't have to go out and not be a loser who hasn't achieved anything.

What is a comfort zone and why it is recommended to leave it

Usually, it means a fictional space in which a person is calm, comfortable and relaxed. A sort of "rotten swamp" in which everything has been familiar for a long time and nothing interesting happens.

A comfort zone can be work in the same organization for many years, weekends at home and vacation at a beach resort from year to year, an established group of friends, a familiar hobby, a standard set of dishes for lunch and dinner. It also happens the other way around - when the endless change of impressions, people and events is comfortable.

The bottom line is that a person gets used to any conditions, they become predictable and understandable for him. Moreover, theoretically, unloved work, poverty, and destructive relationships can be a comfort zone. But not because a person is good in all this, but because it is more familiar and easier for him to stay in the current situation than to change something.

The idea that miracles are born outside the usual circle - in conditions of discomfort, suffering and overcoming all sorts of obstacles - did not arise from the motivational books of Brian Tracy and Tony Robbins, although they actively support this theory. Much earlier, back in 1908, scientists Robert Yerkes and John Dodson made mice go through mazes under different lighting conditions, and some of the rodents were electrocuted at the same time. The animals that got the discharge did the job better and faster. From this, the researchers concluded that moderate stress can be beneficial and motivating, not only for mice, but also for humans.

This means that in order to achieve good results, you need to constantly shake yourself up. Quitting your job, taking a trip, relocating, embarking on a difficult project, forging new relationships - in a word, challenge your fears.

Why stepping out of your comfort zone isn't really necessary

Remember Abraham Maslow's pyramid? One of the main thoughts of this theory is that the desire to develop and think about self-actualization appears when all other needs that are at the lower levels of the pyramid are satisfied. That is, when a person is full, healthy and feels safe in every sense.

Security doesn't really fit in with stressful conditions. Say, someone finally dared to leave the comfort zone and quit a disgusting job - and found himself in a situation where he had no time for finding himself and not for development, but urgently needs to get a new job before the financial cushion runs out. And someone else decided to radically deal with his social anxiety - and spoke at the "Open Microphone", but all the time he was thinking only about how to get out of there as soon as possible and find himself in silence and loneliness.

Child psychologist Julia Gippenreiter confirms this contradiction in her “Communicate with a child. How? . She refers to the work of another psychologist - Lev Vygotsky - and says that children learn new things faster and more efficiently when the situation around them is calm, and the task becomes more complicated gradually and is in the zone of proximal development.

It is believed that staying in your comfort zone is the healthiest and most effective choice. And instead of going out somewhere, you need to expand this zone so that as many activities as possible become comfortable.

How to expand your comfort zone

1. Understand how much you need it

It is quite possible that everything is fine with you, your life is more than satisfactory for you, you do not strive for fundamental changes, and "shortcomings" absolutely do not prevent you from getting what you want.

For example, shyness and isolation turn into a problem only for those who want to work with people. And for a reclusive freelancer, these are just character traits. Creativity and the ability to think outside the box are needed for an editor, marketer, manager, or artist. Whereas for accountants and lawyers, first of all, something completely different is important, and they may not particularly worry about the fact that they are not too creative in their work.

This does not mean that there is no need to develop at all. Rather, it is worth expanding your comfort zone in a different direction.

2. Outline your comfort zone

Try to understand exactly where it ends with you, which actions are easy and stress-free, and which ones make you nervous.

Let's say a shy person is afraid to talk about himself and his achievements and this interferes with his career. In this case, it would be good to determine where this fear begins. For example, at a meeting with friends, he calmly talks about success and about himself in general, but to brag on social networks and even more so to make a competent self-presentation at an interview is already very, very difficult for him.

If you understand the limits of your capabilities, it will be easier to smoothly expand your comfort zone, not to go too far and not drive yourself into stress.

3. Take your time

Psychologist Andy Molinsky believes that the division into a “comfort zone” and “a place where miracles happen” is not entirely correct. It is more correct to speak of three zones:

Comfort - everything is predictable, understandable and calm.
Stretching is difficult, but you can live.
Panic attacks are very hard and scary.

For the same person who finds it difficult to declare himself, the first step towards expanding his comfort zone can be a simple task: write a post on a social network or speak at a working five-minute meeting. But it will most likely be difficult for him to go to a professional conference with a report right away.

It is necessary to strive not to go immediately beyond the "stretch" zone, but to move gradually and do exactly as much as possible without fear, tachycardia, sweaty palms and sleepless nights.