11 facts about relationships that couples should remember forever

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Your relationship is influenced by completely unexpected factors that you hardly thought about. It is good that the inquisitive minds of sociologists do not stop digging into the truth.

1. No need to rush

The first moments of love are so bright that people dare to make spontaneous decisions, not realizing the consequences of their behavior. The whirlwind of emotions inspires, the chemistry of happiness seethes in the veins, and it seems that an early engagement or marriage is the best way to keep the holiday within yourself. As practice shows, the opposite is true.

A study from Emory University has shown that the longer modern couples meet before marriage, the more likely they are to stay together. In numbers, couples who dated for three years or more divorced 39% less often than those who checked the relationship for less than a year.

2. Not worth spending money on a wedding

Lavish wedding preparations and lordly wedding celebrations have a long tradition. The entourage of the young, and sometimes the bride and groom themselves, try to throw a holiday no worse than the neighbor's, because they just sign once in their life! But the catch is that big-footed parties could backfire in the future.

As part of the same Emory University study, scientists surveyed thousands of heterosexual couples and found that "the length of a marriage is associated with spending on wedding rings and wedding ceremony." In particular, those who spent impressive sums on rings parted 30% more often.

And there is a simple explanation for this: dried up gold reserves, debts and loans undermine the financial base of the new cell of society. Money becomes the cause of disagreement, economic disputes do not subside, which leads to a split in the family.

3. Cuddle in your sleep

Couples who sleep together are happier than those who sleep separately. Researchers at the University of Hertfordshire studied the situation of sleeping spouses and found that 94% of couples who spent the night in contact said their relationship was happy. At the same time, only 68% of those who did not touch each other in their sleep were satisfied with their relationship.

Hugs are also good for the health of the halves. They will warm bodies in a cooled bed in the cold winter.

4. Don't forget to thank

A simple "thank you" strengthens the bond. Scientists from the University of California at Berkeley are talking about this. The researchers created an environment in which both halves thanked and received gratitude from their partner. At the end of the experiment, all 77 couples felt calmer and more satisfied. They understood each other better, felt the care and responsiveness of a loved one more acutely. And there was a scientific basis for this. The positive "thank you" effect was due to increased production of oxytocin, the hormone of trust and affection.

5. Take care of each other

The health of even the strongest relationships needs to be improved. Experienced people advise more often to confess their love to each other, and scientists - to move from words to deeds. Moreover, you do not need titanic efforts or large investments. It is enough to show small, but extremely significant signs of attention.

Is it difficult for you to prepare a cup of tea for your half? Trivia! But these are the little things that strengthen your union. This is the conclusion reached by sociologists from the Open University of Great Britain. Over the course of two years, they studied the lives of 5,000 people and concluded that unexpected surprises and little favors continue to matter, even after many years of long-term relationship. It is a powerful link in a relationship.

6. Evaluate your union soberly

How many times have you told the world that honesty is the best way to solve a problem? But people on the roll turn a blind eye to reality, replacing the truth with far-fetched excuses. And they do so, of course, in vain. Psychologists advise talking directly about your preferences and desires.

Researchers at the University of Illinois tracked the development of relationships in 232 tandems and noted that successful couples remembered well all stages of their romance, while couples in difficulty lied to themselves, looking back and thinking that everything was fine.

7. You don't need to have a stamp in your passport to be happy

It has long been noted that married people achieve better career success than singles. They have stronger health and social ties, a more stable psyche. Run and sign for a new position and longevity!

But do not rush, because an ordinary civil union is no worse than an official marriage. All the same benefits, but without a documented commitment. Scientists say that the beginning of a life together between spouses and cohabitants is not much different. Moreover, all the differences disappear altogether at the end of the honeymoon.

8. No need to look for a "soul mate"

In each of us there is a romantic who wants to find the very kindred spirit on his life path. Someone struggles with him, realizing that there are no complete coincidences, but someone idealizes their soul mate, believing that it was destined to do so. The latter make a significant mistake.

This is evidenced by the sociological studies of Spike W. S. Lee and Norbert Schwarz. According to scientists, people who consider their relationship as a dictate of fate, thereby rooting in themselves the basis for future disappointment, because reality always contradicts fantasy. Correctly compare your relationship with a long journey full of obstacles and difficulties. In this case, the past years will not leave you with the bitterness of unfulfilled hopes.

9. Long-distance relationships are not a sentence

The farther apart the magnets are, the weaker the connection between them. It is this kind of logic that often undermines people's faith in long-distance relationships, and they leave without testing their feelings for strength. "So far, it was cool, let's write to Facebook."

Wait, wait, take your time to scatter. Experts at Cornell University have found many examples of geographically distant relationships in which men and women felt more satisfied than living side by side.

Psychologists say that in long-distance relationships, people are more likely to turn to the bright moments of their lives, relish pleasant details, and this warms up feelings.

10. You need to want to become a parent

Children are the flowers of life. We are told about this on national television and when we visit our grandmother. It is clear that the state needs new citizens, and the older generation wants to shake things up a little. Blindly follow the lead?

Sociological research does not provide a clear answer. Some of them assure that families with children are happier. Others, not without reason, point to the increased stress levels associated with the completion of the family, through which not everyone is allowed to go. The conclusion is simple: you need to want a child or grow to the proud title of "parent".

11. It's all about kindness

Long-term alliances are built on the principles of mutual respect, love, help and, most importantly, kindness and generosity. This is the opinion of the famous American couple John and Julie Gottman. They support their opinion with forty years of work experience as family psychologists. Based on their rich experience, the Gottmen recommend paying attention to your behavior during quarrels. During the period of domestic passions, it is very easy to offend your partner and arouse contempt in him - the main factor in impending separation. By understanding that your "phi" can be expressed with good notes, you will not harm your union.