7 ways to protect yourself from negativity

1. Set boundaries and guard them

It is very difficult to deal with people who are stuck in their problems and unable to focus on solving them. They want those around them to give them moral support and share their pessimism 24 hours a day. You don't interrupt their endless complaints because you are afraid to sound rude and callous. However, it is one thing to provide emotional support, and it is another thing to get stuck up to your ears in the swamp of their negativity.

To avoid falling into this swamp, set clear boundaries and keep a distance between yourself and the source of negativity.

Just think, would you sit next to someone who smokes one cigarette after another all day and enjoy the smoke? Unlikely. So get away and get some fresh air. In all senses.

If in the near future you cannot protect yourself from the society of the annoyingly negative interlocutor, try to neutralize him by asking how he is going to solve the problem about which he constantly complains. Often this is enough for the interlocutor to close the topic or turn the conversation into a more constructive direction. At least for a while.

2. Don't let the other person piss you off

The emotional response shows that we cannot assess the situation objectively. Emotions can take over you for just a couple of seconds, or they can completely take control of your behavior. If the person who radiates negativity managed to make you angry or unbalanced, it means that you were unable to maintain a sober view of the situation.

When you are faced with negative behavior that hurts you, do not respond with insult to insult. Maintain your dignity and do not stoop to the level of your interlocutor. Try to mature at the root.

3. Suggest switching to lighter topics

Some people go into the negative only about their sick topics. These topics may seem pretty harmless to you. For example, if someone is dissatisfied with their work, he will mention it for any reason, to the point or not, and constantly complain about it. If you try to insert your positive comment, you will get an even bigger dose of negativity.

Do not try to change the attitude of the interlocutor to the topic that is painful for him. Perhaps his problems with this topic are much deeper than they seem. The best way out would be to suggest changing the topic to a lighter and more positive one. Share funny stories, fond memories - anything that can distract the other person from obsessive thoughts.

4. Focus not on the problem, but on the solution

What you focus your attention on affects your emotional state. If you focus on the problems you're facing, you only increase the negative impact of stressors. If you are looking for a way to improve your current situation, then you will feel satisfaction, which will generate positive emotions and help to overcome anxiety.

The same principle should be used when dealing with negative people. Just stop thinking about how annoying the other person is. Instead, ask yourself how you can influence this person's behavior so that it doesn't bother you. This will help you stop worrying and take control of the situation.

5. Abstract from the opinions of others

People who are successful tend to think internally. This means that, according to the ideas of such people, their well-being depends only on themselves. Psychologists call this personality trait an internal locus of control. Negative people usually shift responsibility for their lives to others and blame others for everything that happens to them or does not happen. They demonstrate an example of an external locus of control.

If your self-worth and satisfaction depends on the opinions of other people, you cannot be happy without someone else's approval. When emotionally strong people feel confident that they are doing something right, they do not allow superficial judgment and caustic comments from others to lead them astray.

You are not as good as people praise you when you win. But not as bad as you are judged to be when you lose. What matters is what you have learned and how you use what you learn.

6. Don't try to fix other people

You can help some people by showing them an example. And for some, you can't. Don't let energy vampires and manipulators disturb your inner balance. You cannot control what cannot be controlled.

If something does not suit you in the behavior of the person you love, and you hope that over time he will change, then it is better to give up these hopes. The likelihood that it will remain the same as it was is too great. If you really want to change something, be honest with your loved one and put all the cards on the table. Let your significant other know how you feel and why you feel this way.

However, in most cases, you shouldn't even try to change the other person. Accept him as he is, or leave his life.

It may sound too harsh, but this is the best option. When you try to change a person, he often resists in response and you get the opposite effect. But if you give up these attempts and just support this person, giving him the freedom to independently determine what he wants to be, gradually he can change himself. And change in an amazing way. Perhaps your very attitude towards this person will change.

7. Take care of yourself

Don't forget yourself simply because others are doing the same. If you are forced to work or live under the same roof with a source of constant negativity, make sure you have enough time to rest and replenish your inner resources.

It is quite difficult to maintain the correct non-emotional perception of the situation at all times. Because of negative people, you may not sleep at night, asking questions, "What am I doing wrong?", "Am I so bad that they talk to me this way?" "I can't believe she did this to me!" etc.

You can worry for weeks, months. Even for years. Unfortunately, sometimes this is the goal of a negative person. He seeks to piss you off and bring you down to his level of negative thinking. Therefore, take care of yourself so that in the future you can safely reflect the attacks of such emotional vampires.

And finally …

As hard as it is to admit it, sometimes you yourself are the source of negativity. At times, your inner critic brings you much more stress than those around you. Try to come to an agreement with yourself and turn off this critic at least until the end of the day. This simple tip will make you feel much better.

Negative thoughts will not help you cope with problems or make you better. Remember this.