No, no, and again no: why is it not necessary to always agree with everyone

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

The inability to refuse makes life very difficult.

Often we agree just to make a good impression or not to offend people with a rejection.

Empathy, of course, is good, but in the long run, the habit of constantly agreeing with everyone has bad consequences.

If you have already regretted saying "yes" once, here are 16 tips that will help you not to step on this rake again.

1. You don't have to say yes to people who need your time

Time is known to be money. But there is one detail that makes minutes and hours much more valuable than all the gold in the world. If time is running out, then forever. Money can be earned again, but the time spent will never return. Understand correctly, this is not about being an insensitive piece of log and ignoring other people's requests. When someone has an eye on your time, disagree as long as it goes against your personal priorities. If, nevertheless, the problems of this person deserve attention, set aside a certain day for meeting or talking with him, but not to the detriment of your business.

2. You don't have to say yes to people who need your money

Popular wisdom says that you need to lend as much as you do not mind losing. If you are not ready to accept that friends are in no hurry to return what they have borrowed, this is a sign: it's time to tie up with charity. Debts not paid off in time will easily destroy your relationship with once close people and spoil a lot of blood. Honestly, it is better to immediately refuse and endure all the insults than to rake problems later.

3. You don't have to say yes to the people who exploit you

If someone remembers your existence only in cases where help is needed, you are just a problem-solving tool for that person, nothing more. Are the relations becoming asymmetrical, and you are the only donor party? It's time to think hard. Of course, it is necessary to help people, but this does not apply to citizens parasitizing on someone else's generosity.

4. You don't have to say yes to please friends

Refusing friends is not easy. These people are for you, by definition, roads, so you feel that you must act accordingly. The truth is that a real friend will take your refusal absolutely normal, because friendship for him is much more valuable than any disagreement. Those who are hostile to any of your disagreements should not be called friends.

5. You don't have to say yes if society requires it

Public opinion can be a very difficult obstacle to overcome. People tend to think that you should just go with the flow and do what is expected of you. It takes a fair amount of courage and confidence to say no, but it is often vital.

Every time you disagree with something, even under pressure from the majority, you demonstrate the right to your own opinion. If someone doesn't like it, they still have to reckon with it.

6. You don't have to say yes to fit in with others

Here is the same story as in the previous case. People usually choose a demeanor that allows them not to stand out from the crowd. This is what they expect from you. Oddly enough, sooner or later everyone comes to the conclusion that conformism is not only useless, but also makes you regret what you have done.

7. You don't have to say yes to rules and dogmas

The environment forms certain requirements for the behavior of members of a social group. Some of these rules are necessary for the normal functioning of society, but there are many dogmas that you do not have to follow at all. Always remember who you are, and don't let mossy doctrines change that.

8. You don't have to say yes to traditions and religious beliefs

If you were born among people whose lives are dominated by religion and traditional values, you will also be expected to worship all of this. But, if deep down in your soul you are not sure of the truth of the values, this is a sign that you do not need to follow them. Of course, if you declare with your family that you have your own idea of religion, your loved ones will probably not approve of this. It's okay, over time the intensity of passions will subside, and you can be proud that you have remained true to your beliefs.

9. You don't have to say yes to your parents

Listening to your heart and disrespecting your parents are not the same thing.

Yes, mom and dad love you very much and sincerely wish you well, but sometimes only you can know what you really want.

If your parents insist, for example, that you choose a certain profession, remember: this is your life, not theirs. Do the right thing.

10. You don't have to say yes to your boss

Be careful with this, if you do not want to be left without work. But, on the other hand, when there are real alternatives, and the current boss does nothing but ruin your life, maybe it's time to say goodbye to him and move on?

11. You don't have to say yes to what puts your priorities in second place

If you don't respect your values, then no one will. You and only you are responsible for what happens in your life, and this is the very moment when you fully accept this responsibility. So make your goals the highest priority!

12. You don't have to say yes to whatever is trying to get your attention

The modern world constantly bombards us with a variety of irritants, so the ability to filter out the unnecessary becomes vital. Remember, no matter what you pay attention to, you have the same right to ignore it.

13. You don't have to say yes to sales and specials

It's hard not to lose your head during the discount season, marketers know this very well.

There are a lot of psychological tricks that will make you gladly put your hard-earned money on the altar of sales.

At first, you feel a surge of happiness, but as your wallet gets thinner and the dust layer on such necessary purchases grows, you wonder: maybe you should have said “no” after all?

14. You don't have to say yes to mailing lists

Anyone who subscribes to various kinds of mailings knows how tempting their offers can sometimes be. Sometimes such wonderful things are given almost for nothing, how can you not buy. Bingo, a new need has been imposed on you and what is needed to satisfy it. But if you hadn't opened your email, would you really need this product or service?

15. You don't have to say yes to chronophages

Television, internet and social media - these technological wonders have revolutionized our world. But, if you do not control them, they themselves will begin to control you. It's very easy to forget and waste a lot of time staring aimlessly at the screen. Our brains tend to choose the simplest solutions, and time eaters are just waiting for this. As we found out in the first paragraph, time is our most precious resource, so you need to protect it with all your might.

16. You don't have to say yes to notifications

Just turn off the notifications that come from your apps. Social networks, all sorts of reminders - all this distracts attention and interferes with concentration. Almost every application sends notifications; this is one of the ways to involve users in active interaction. Their creators benefit from this, but this approach only hurts us. Skip unnecessary alerts and never say yes to distractions.