What kind of adults do the only children in a family become?

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

No, not spoiled or self-centered at all. We break popular myths and present facts verified by scientists.

There is a well-established myth in society that a person who was the only child in a family grows up to be more selfish and spoiled. The home environment really influences the formation of character, but genes also play a role in this. Therefore, it does not at all mean that everyone who grew up without brothers and sisters will necessarily become an egoist. It's time to debunk this misconception, and at the same time find out what researchers actually know about those who were the only child of their parents.

1. They are not as weird as people think

The myth of "weirdness" emerged in 1895 when psychologist EW Bohannon surveyed over 1,000 children and announced that single children were more likely to be "ill-mannered and stupid." Moreover, only 46 participants in the survey had no brothers and sisters.

For some reason, this stereotype has not been completely eliminated, although a lot of new research has been carried out since then. For example, in 2013, scientists analyzed the relationships of 13 thousand children with peers and did not find that those who grew up in a family with one child had fewer friends or problems with social adaptation.

Let's be realistic: all of us have strange personality traits and habits. The absence of brothers and sisters in itself will not make a person eccentric.

2. They are not necessarily spoiled

Research confirms that only children are spoiled no more than their peers. The habit of overly pampering is a parental problem that does not resolve itself when there are two or three children. So there is a chance to raise a darling in families with any number of sons and daughters.

3. They are not closed

They have, on average, as many friends as other children. You just have to look for them outside the home. And perhaps the only children are even more considerate friends. They don't take close relationships with peers for granted, so they put more effort into making and maintaining friendships. Anyway, relationships with siblings do not always work out well, so their presence is not necessarily an advantage.

4. They are demanding of themselves

Even if they are not pressured by their parents, they often make high demands on themselves and are very zealous. According to psychologist Karl Pickhardt, they can be very self-critical when something doesn't work out as well as they want.

Such exactingness pays off in the future. Those who grew up as the only child in a family often have an intellectual advantage over children from large families.

5. They like to do things their own way

When you are not used to the fact that brothers and sisters can burst into a room at any moment, it is more difficult for you to perceive other people's rules and encroachments on personal space even in adult life.

But the tendency to share is not affected by the number of children in the family. It develops in everyone at the age of 6-9 and is associated with the ability to empathize and social acceptance.

6. They find it easier to find a common language with their elders

If children in large families play or watch TV with brothers and sisters during home holidays, the only children interact with adult relatives and friends of their parents. This can give them an extra point while studying and at work. Probably, it is easier for them to find a common language with their elders there too.

7. They try to avoid conflict

Karl Pickhardt notes that the only children are reluctant to go to conflicts. It makes sense. If they have had no experience of quarreling and competing with siblings, they may not be so used to confrontation.

However, conflicts can strengthen relationships if they fight right. So it's a useful skill that only children might lack in adulthood.

8. They think more about the aging of their parents

When you have brothers and sisters, you realize that together you will share the care of your parents and the grief after their death. An only child will have to face it alone. Therefore, many of them think about such questions more than their peers.

9. They have a closer relationship with their parents

As children, they receive more attention from their parents and spend more time with them, so the bond can be stronger. This turns out to be both a plus and a minus if the parents continue to show too much care when the child is already grown up.