How not to lose friends and make new ones

Many would like to have close friends, but are not willing to make the effort to do so. How often do we meet someone interesting and think that we could make friends. But affairs, fatigue and just laziness make us postpone meetings. Weeks and months pass, and we still do not advance beyond a superficial acquaintance.

Of course, you cannot be friends with everyone you meet. This is not necessary. But if you want to make a close friendship, but constantly find reasons not to go to meetings, it's time to change tactics. Vox author Jackie Luo offers universal advice.

1. Take the first step

Tell people you like or respect that you are interested in and would like to communicate with them. If they don't share your interest, that's okay. But don't miss out on opportunities to get to know someone just because you're afraid to sound too intrusive.

2. Don't be afraid to be vulnerable

Talk about your problems and ask people about their difficulties. Do not meet only in bars and coffee shops, invite friends to your home. Give thoughtful gifts. It is important for friendship that you accept each other as you are. This is impossible if you never show your weaknesses.

3. Learn to say no to those you don't want to pay attention to

It sounds harsh, but it will save you and the other person time and effort. Faking friendship with someone without genuine feelings is not at all an act of kindness. So don't promise to meet later. You both have a limited amount of time. Better to spend it on really important people.

4. Reciprocate

If your friend is always the first to suggest plans, next time invite him out of the box yourself. If you need to cancel the appointment, please suggest a different time. And make an effort to contain the new arrangement.

5. Support the people who are important to you

Sometimes friends need your physical presence, sometimes just emotional support. You will always have other things to do and do. But if you regularly make a choice in favor of them, and not friends, soon nothing will be left of friendship. To preserve it, both sides must try.

Close friendships don't just come about when you have a lot in common or are comfortable communicating. And then, when in some situations you give preference to a friend. How many times do you need to cancel gatherings or skip important events in his life for your friendship to fizzle out? Much less than you think.

Therefore, the next time you have to decide whether to make time for a friend or do something else, remember that these choices will affect your relationship.