5 reasons for unhealthy competition at home and at work

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Why children or subordinates constantly conflict and intrigue each other and how to deal with it.

1. Lack of structure

Houses

If more or less clear rules of behavior are not defined at home - for example, in what situations children are praised, and in what and how they are punished - children feel insecure. They are more likely to feel anxious because they don't know what to expect. This forces them to constantly check the boundaries of what is permissible in relations with others. Quarreling with brothers or sisters is one way of checking and defining boundaries.

When boundaries are set, children stop fighting if the original reason for the competition was lack of structure.

At work

The same can happen in the office, because the hierarchy in the workplace often follows the structure that workers are accustomed to in the family. In the absence of clear rules, employees can check the boundaries of what is permitted: being late, disrupting deadlines, complaining. This problem is especially common in situations where the boss is overly emotional. Then the rules at work are constantly changing depending on the mood of the boss.

It's like a dysfunctional family where you can't rely on your parents. Everyone is in a state of constant tension, and the workers either unite or begin to work in the “every man for himself” mode.

In both cases, a clear structure must be created to solve the problem.

2. Pressure from above

Houses

Intense competition between children is often a reflection of problems between parents. Children either simply reproduce the behavior of their parents quarreling with each other, or more openly express the tension they feel in the relationship between mother and father and project it onto each other.

At work

When employees feel that their superiors are in trouble, they worry about how to behave. The job of the boss is to convey information to subordinates, but to remain calm and not to blame the employees on the problems in relations between the bosses.

In both cases, the key to solving the problem is a clear hierarchy. Both children and subordinates should be made to understand that adults or bosses will cope with their problems on their own.

3. Lack of hierarchy between children or employees

Houses

Competition between children can intensify if the same rules are set for everyone, regardless of age. For example, if they have to go to bed at the same time, despite the fact that one is 6 years old, and the other is 14. Children tend to take a certain place in the family. They must understand that with age they have more rights and responsibilities. If this does not happen, they have nowhere to demonstrate their abilities and their uniqueness, and they begin to try to show them in competition with each other.

At work

A similar situation can be observed in the office. If there is no difference between employees with 2 and 20 years of experience and different skills, subordinates have no incentive to develop further. And in colleagues, they see first of all competitors, and not those to whom, on occasion, they can turn for help.

The situation is aggravated if, in the absence of a clear hierarchy, favoritism also manifests itself: one of the children or employees is constantly undeservedly encouraged. As a result, others begin to envy him and even despise him.

The problem can be solved by creating a clear hierarchy between children or workers in accordance with their age, skills, experience and other objective criteria.

4. Lack of attention

Houses

When children are not given enough attention, they try to attract it in every possible way. Some deliberately misbehave. Open conflicts with siblings can be a form of bad behavior in order to gain parental attention.

At work

The same can happen at work. Subordinates in the pursuit of attention can commit emotional tricks and conflict.

To solve a problem, you need to pay enough attention to the talents and skills of children or employees.

5. Unsolved problems

Houses

If parents do not respond to children's complaints about each other and do not try to resolve conflicts between them themselves, children begin to try to solve them on their own. For example, if one of the children constantly complains that the other breaks his toys, and the parents do nothing, the child may harbor resentment and subsequently bully the other on purpose.

At work

The same thing happens in the office. If problems are not solved, they accumulate, over time, deadlines are broken more and more often, subordinates conflict more, and work efficiency decreases.

In such situations, the task of parents or superiors is to listen to complaints from children or subordinates, not to dismiss them and make every effort to solve the problem.