12 signs of unhealthy and painful relationships

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

An unhealthy relationship in a couple is sometimes difficult to recognize because the damage is not immediately apparent. However, they are slowly poisoning life. There are several ways to distinguish between healthy and destructive relationships.

Signs of an unhealthy relationship

1. The partner is constantly competing with you

For inexplicable reasons, your companion constantly compares himself to you and wants to show that he is better and cooler in everything. Often such a demonstration takes place in public, and every word you say becomes a hook for a fierce argument. Your partner will use every opportunity to assert himself at your expense and devalue your achievements.

In a healthy relationship, both partners cultivate and develop harmoniously. In unhealthy relationships, you are perceived as a rival who must be defeated in any way to get the palm.

2. You feel as if all the energy has been sucked out of you

Relationships affect our health and well-being. If you sleep less, lose weight or gain weight, and also constantly feel like a squeezed lemon, you may have an energy vampire next to you.

Such people feed on the energy of other people and rejoice every time they take away other people's powers. In such a relationship, you physically lack the resources, strength and desire to do something. You are seized by apathy, and your own failure and depression come to the fore.

3. You are always guilty of all mortal sins

In an unhealthy relationship, the partner does not see the cause of problems and failures in his actions and is always inclined to transfer the blame to others, especially to you. You are guilty of everything, including his mistakes and things beyond your control.

Your only task is to keep the blow and not to infuriate your partner, preventing his frequent outbursts of anger. Sometimes you want to get away from it and stay away from your companion.

4. They constantly want to change and improve you

Remember that a mature and strong relationship is based on accepting your partner for who they are. In unhealthy relationships, you are compared to others, and you are told openly or politely hinted that it would be nice for you to change something in yourself to become better.

Perhaps you should lose weight or gain weight, cut or grow your hair, change your image, or throw away half of your wardrobe. You are always missing something in order for your partner to be completely satisfied with you.

5. The partner only talks about himself

Your companion is unable to empathize and empathize with others. These people have problems with emotional intelligence and empathy. The partner is not able to put himself in the place of another person, and he does not set himself such a task, because he considers himself the center of the Universe. Does he talk about himself all the time? There seems to be an exemplary daffodil next to you.

Narcissists are so carried away and absorbed in themselves that they do not even notice what is happening around them. As a rule, such people talk a lot about themselves and often interrupt others, do not ask any questions and, in principle, do not know how to listen. The needs, desires and feelings of such a person are always more important than yours, since in their picture of the world everything should revolve around their person.

6. All your actions are criticized

Everything you do or say is a priori bad. No matter how hard you try, your companion will always find a reason to find fault and criticize you and your thoughts. The cooked omelet is too salty and the dress is too short.

You will always be wrong. There is no point in making excuses or proving the opposite - there will still be new reasons for dissatisfaction. No amount of evidence and arguments will help - such a person hears only himself.

7. The partner controls all your actions

Your companion is literally obsessed with the desire to subjugate your whole life. He certainly needs to know where and with whom you are, what you are eating and what you are wearing now. Even if you are meeting with pregnant girlfriends, they will definitely call you and offer to pick up early.

Sometimes this control can be mistaken for concern, but in fact, your partner felt like the master of your life. People in healthy and harmonious relationships understand that having a life and hobbies outside of a relationship is normal and even beneficial for a couple.

8. You are jealous of everyone and everything

Sometimes jealousy is a pleasant feeling. We are all a little flattered that we are liked by someone else, and that they are jealous of us (which means they are loved). But the main thing in everything is measure. Some people turn into real tyrants, try to completely subjugate their soul mate and perceive it as property. Sometimes it comes to public humiliation with a showdown.

The partner does not trust you, reads all your messages and makes scandals because of harmless correspondence on Facebook. Jealous people see treason in everything and can easily lead to hysterics with their questions. Clueless, terrorizing jealousy inevitably destroys your self-esteem, you start to fear your partner's anger.

9. The partner is constantly offended

Your life is not devoid of drama, and all your actions hurt your partner to tears: he sulks, leaves, clearly shows how bad you did, and demonstrates how much you hurt his feelings. After this, you feel like a bad person, a cruel monster, and your companion is enjoying a scandal.

Any attempt to talk ends with a new resentment and accusation of misunderstanding and lack of emotional intelligence. It is possible that your partner is deliberately using these tactics by manipulating your feelings of guilt.

10. Your partner hasn't learned to speak your love language

People often misunderstand the needs of their partner. At first, there is nothing to worry about: everything can be made up if you want. It is possible and necessary to learn to speak the same love language. Problems arise if for a long time the partner has not understood what you like and what you really need in love, you, and not him.

Psychologists distinguish five languages of love: words of encouragement, time, gifts, help, touch. We all need different things from each other. It is important to understand what love language your companion speaks. Let's say your love language is time. It is sad if your partner does not understand this and tries to make up for his absence in your life with gifts.

11. You have too different biorhythms

You never managed to find a common language and agree on when it is better to go to bed and what time to get up. Your partner lives while you sleep, and vice versa. As a result, you get upset and worried when your companion played computer games all night, but slept on your only day off.

In a healthy relationship, it is possible to find balance and change habits so that both feel comfortable. In an unhealthy relationship, this becomes the reason for mutual frustration.

12. You have stopped having sex

It's hard to argue with human nature: physical intimacy and a regular sex life are a necessary attribute of a healthy and strong relationship.

If in your relationship there is no intimacy and tactile contact is minimized, this indicates serious problems in the life of the couple.

What to do if you see these signs in your relationship

At the very least, this is a reason to think and sound the alarm. Recognizing a problem is the first step to solving it. If you want your partner to behave differently, have a heart-to-heart talk with him and voice the problem. Communication is essential to resolve conflicts in a relationship.

Remember that changing people not on their initiative is a pointless exercise. If a person himself wants to change and find a way out of the situation together, this relationship still has a chance. Otherwise, it's best to end the painful relationship and give yourself time to recover.