What to tell your daughter before she grows up

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Jenna McCarthy is a TED speaker, author and mom of two daughters. She is madly in love with her girls, but notes that their upbringing has never been easy for her. Today, children are too often influenced by the media, peers, fashion … According to Jenna, the duty of any parent is to help their child enter the adult world prepared. That is why she decided to share the tips that, in her opinion, every mother should give to her daughter.

1. Learn the word "no"

Of course, I don't like it when you say that word to me, but in the adult world, you have to make an endless number of difficult choices. Boys, beer, inappropriate Instagram photos - potential problems will come your way everywhere.

Do you already know that quiet inner voice that often tells you that you are doing wrong? Listen to him. Respect him. And most importantly, use it to say no. It won't be easy today, tomorrow, and for a long time to come, but eventually you will realize that you did the right thing.

2. Pay more attention to inner rather than outer beauty

Being proud of your appearance and striving to become even more beautiful is great. But if you only care about external beauty, then in the future it will do you a disservice.

You are damn beautiful, it's true, but never forget that this is a gift from nature, and not your merit. Only a kind and caring person who is able to empathize with others can be called truly beautiful. If you are beautiful in appearance, but callous in your soul, know that you can never call yourself a beauty.

3. Things Can't Make You Happy

It’s the very moment when you’re so eager to get a bandana, a skateboard, a cool bag, or whatever, that you passionately believe that these things will make you happy. But at some point, things go wrong. You can accidentally lose these things. They can break or wear out. They can go out of style.

Remember: happiness comes from the understanding that you have everything you need, and not from the fact that you are the owner of a bunch of trinkets.

4. Some girls are mean girls

Be very careful when choosing your girlfriends. Girls can be mean, petty, jealous, and cruel. Some of them may lie to you, pretend to be your girlfriends, and then stab you in the back, and you will feel wild pain and frustration every time it happens. Get ready for this.

5. Girlfriends will make your life better

Yes, girls can be terrible, so if you're lucky enough to find a real friend you can trust, hold on to her and try to be a good friend in return. Guys will come and go, and a real friend will always support you in any difficult situation.

6. Never judge others, but know that others will always judge you

It turns out strange: I teach you not to judge people for their appearance, for the clothes they wear, but, unfortunately, I am sure that other people will not treat you with the same understanding as you do them. Keep this in mind when you want to wear clothes that are too revealing by conventional standards, pierce your tongue, or dye your hair blue. It may not seem like a big deal to you right now, but trust me, when you get a job or meet your boyfriend's parents, it can be important.

7. The importance of the female breast is too exaggerated

So far you do not care, but in adolescence you will surely begin to visit such questions: “Do I have big enough breasts? Is it too big? " Or sometimes even like this: "Do I have one breast larger than the other?" (Yes, it happens, and this is not a reason for complexes.)

Regardless of how you feel about your breasts, whether it seems to you too small, too big or you are completely satisfied with everything, remember that it is not for nothing that breasts are called an intimate part of the body. Do not flaunt your charms.

8. Talk to your grandmother more often

I have no doubt that you love your grandmother, but how often do you just talk to her heart to heart? She is a woman who has seen a lot, and it would be foolish to neglect her life experience. Ask your grandmother about her life, ask her to tell you about the first boy she liked, or about when and how she realized what she wanted to do in life.

Sad but true: human life is too short. Therefore, it is worth knowing for sure that we spent as much time with loved ones as we wanted.

9. High school is not real life yet

At this time, it seems to you that there is so much at stake. There is a tough boy that you want to be friends with, so good that you think you will never meet this again. But trust me, once you go to university and then get a job, you will see that you have so much more in your life ahead of you.

At 16-17, you’ll think that all those cool boys and girls in your class will become successful people. By no means, this is not always the case. If it seems to you that something is not working out for you, and you want to give up, remember that your life is just beginning.

10. Love yourself

Not every person in your life will love you, and this is normal, there is no tragedy in this. We women are too often obsessed with this desire - to please everyone who surrounds us, but at the same time we forget that this is simply impossible.

First of all, you must love and respect yourself. As long as you look in the mirror and see in it a girl who is satisfied with the decisions you make, even if someone does not like them, know that you are doing everything right.

11. It's okay to wait

While others are actively pursuing their goals, you may not even be sure that you have these goals. Because of this, you can feel discomfort, self-doubt. Do not worry, wait a little, and over time you will understand what you really have a heart for. Few regret that he decided to wait, but many regret that he was in a hurry.

12. Sex should be fun

Do not rush to enter adulthood, but if you are sure that you are completely ready, remember that sex should be a joy. However, if you do not feel that your partner cares about making you feel comfortable, both emotionally and physically, then read paragraph 11 again.

13. Not every problem is the end of the world

If you assign 10 points on a scale of 10 to every problem you face in life, then eventually people will stop sympathizing with you (including myself).

So before you start thinking that there are insoluble and terrible problems in your life right now, think about whether it will be important in five minutes, five days and five years. Most likely no. This means that you have no reason for universal experiences.

14. Don't compare yourself to others

You may not want to hear this, but there will always be someone prettier, richer, more popular, thinner and more talented than you. But do not think that because of this, others will have a better and happier life than you.

Life is not a competition, but a journey. You are here to be the best version of yourself, not to be better than others.

15. It's just hair

You can straighten or curl them, dissolve them when you want, and collect them when you want. You can get a short haircut, or you can grow them. You can even paint them if you want (but please not pink). You can even spend the lion's share of your time terrifying split ends.

And what is the bottom line? It's just hair. Life is too short to spend so much time chasing the perfect hairstyle. Put on your cap, go outside and smile at the world.

16. Being smart is cool

Someday you will definitely want to pretend to be silly. Listen carefully: you should never do this. Never belittle yourself, even if it seems to you that this way you will seem cooler or will be able to impress a guy.

There will certainly come a moment in your life when your peers (and you along with them) will think that being smart is the lot of nerds. But this period will be short-lived, believe me, and very soon these same people will drool with envy, watching your success.

17. Do not lose your "I" in a relationship with a young man

The goal of any relationship is to find a person who can love you for who you are, and you, in turn, must accept and love him for who he really is. If you don't like windsurfing or watching horror movies, then you shouldn't do it just because your boyfriend likes it. If you love a genre of music that a young man does not like, then you should not change your tastes, even if you want to please him.

There are many guys in the world who are able to love you for who you are and admire your every deed. Wait for such a person.

18. Speak

I do not mean that you need to complain or brag, but if you have your opinion on any issue or you see that something is wrong, then it is your responsibility to tell about it. You can annoy some people with your statements, and impress others. Remember that in any case everything is as it should be. Learn to defend your point of view under any circumstances.

19. You have power over guys

One day you will realize this: it is because of you that he very often blushes, stumbles in mid-sentence and just worries. It's a wonderful feeling, really, to realize how powerful your feminine charm is? But remember that great power comes with it and great responsibility. Try to be gentle and caring, do not allow yourself to be cruel. After all, guys can be just as vulnerable as girls.

20. Sometimes you will hate me, but I will always love you

I hope you never tell me about it to my face, but I know that there will be situations when you think you can't stand me. Many daughters believe that their mothers do not understand anything, they will condemn them for this and that, or they are simply embarrassed to discuss many issues with their mothers.

I want you to know that I am always and under any circumstances there and ready to help you. Pick you up from a party at night, help with advice in a difficult situation, or just cry with you.