2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44
Take a break during an argument and refrain from being overly categorical.
This question was submitted by our reader. You can also ask your question to Lifehacker - if it is interesting, we will definitely answer.
The guy and I really love each other, but I really don't like it when we quarrel. How can quarrels be avoided?
Anonymously
Hello! Lifehacker has detailed material on how to stop scandalous over trifles and not bring conflicts to the point of absurdity. Here are some techniques that can help you:
- Voicing your feelings, not your partner's actions. The person tends to be defensive when accused, so try not to use the pronoun "you". For example, instead of “you never listen to me” say “I think my words are unimportant and it upsets me.”
- Transforming criticism into a request. Often our criticism is the desire to get what we lack. Try to express this desire without reproach. For example, instead of "you never wash the dishes" say "please help me with the dishes more often."
- Rejection of the words "always" and "never". Categorization is never good and has little to do with reality. Plus, your partner may start proving otherwise, even if it's one in a million. And in general, such categoricalness is rarely true.
- Looking at yourself in the mirror at the beginning of the skirmish. You may not like what you see, but this is how your partner sees you during an argument.
- Taking a break during an argument. Sometimes it's better to just leave for a while, so that in a fit of anger you don't say anything that hurts your loved one. When self-control is restored again, be sure to return.
And at the link above, you can find out in more detail why loving couples actually swear and what mistakes they make in quarrels.
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