How to become confident and enjoy life

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

A consistent method for gaining self-confidence, based on real actions.

Have you ever felt like a failure? Most of us are familiar with this state.

It can feel like everyone is creating multi-billion dollar projects, becoming stars on YouTube, or enjoying success on Instagram. Deep down, we understand that nothing like that happens to 99% of people. But when we see all these lucky ones in front of us, we stop thinking about reality.

Whatever you want - money, fame, travel, or none of the above - it all comes down to your confidence. Will it be enough to send everything to hell and make your cherished dream come true? Are you confident enough to say, "Fuck all this crap, I don't need this," and feel good about yourself?

Self-confidence is important for anyone who wants to get what they want. Whatever you want, a lack of self-confidence will prevent you from achieving it.

As research shows M. H. Kernis. Measuring Self-Esteem in Context: The Importance of Stability of Self-Esteem in Psychological Functioning / Journal of Personality, self-doubt leads to depression, loneliness, low academic performance and dissatisfaction with life.

I have studied this phenomenon for years, and the most subject theory I have found is about confidence through competence.

In 1952, the journal Educational Leadership published an article by B. M. Moore. Self-Confidence for Competence / Educational Leadership “Self-Confidence for Competence,” by Bernice Milburn Moore. In this work, the author discusses the role of self-confidence in a teacher's career, but knowing the essence of this article will be useful in any area.

The definitions of overconfidence you may find are more or less the same. Moore interprets this concept as a belief in oneself, a willingness to face any situation. But more importantly, the author adds the following.

Self-confidence without competence makes no more sense than competence without self-confidence.

Bernice Milburn Moore

In other words, going to business school can give you competence. But only by using it to run a real company, you will gain self-confidence. These characteristics are only useful when they complement each other.

This principle works both ways. Self-confidence is worthless without competence - you can't make a business plan out of empty words. You must boldly express your opinion, but at the same time it is important to have knowledge that can support words.

Gain self-confidence

So, you become more confident as the results of your actions improve. This is a pattern confirmed by experience.

How can this rule be applied? The process below is very simple, but it takes a lot of work to follow.

1. Improve your competencies.
2. Use them in practice.
3. Analyze the results.
4. Become more confident.
5. Do it all over again.

But what if I don't see results? Plus, I don't have time to practice

If you're looking for an excuse for yourself, that's your right. This is your life. But this confidence-building technique is based on real, tangible action, not self-hypnosis. Confidence doesn't come by itself as if by magic.

You can say every day that you are confident in yourself, happy with this life or something else, but without actions that bring results, you will never truly believe in yourself.

This is the weakest point in many cultivation theories. Yes, positive thinking, self-hypnosis, goal-setting are all great, but nothing is worth without real action.

How can you gain self-confidence without doing anything? It's impossible.

Nothing boosts self-confidence and self-esteem like achieving success.

Thomas Carlyle British writer and philosopher

What competencies should I improve?

The answer to this question depends on what you are striving for. But there are skills that will be useful to everyone.

• Emotional intelligence … According to research, people are social by nature. Without a good relationship, a person can die. If you want to maintain a strong bond with other people, you need high emotional intelligence - an understanding of other people's emotions and how to better respond to them. This can be learned.
• Self-awareness … You can develop this quality by constantly analyzing yourself. Write down important thoughts, try to understand the motives of your actions. Identify what you could do better and are already good at. Study yourself.
• Decision making skills … The modern school system was formed in the era of the industrial revolution. We are taught to be spokes in a wheel. We are not told how to solve problems in difficult situations. Instead, we do what we are told. But the world has changed since then. Today, the winner is the person who makes the right decisions.

Make no mistake that it’s enough to want, and life will be better. When you start working on your goals and see the results - a stronger body, more energy, more money, or something else - you will believe in yourself.

Now get down to business, progress, monitor results, repeat the process and become confident.