Table of contents:
- 1. Set abstract goals
- 2. Strive for unrealistic goals
- 3. Trying to do everything at once
- 4. Strive for perfectionism in everything
- 5. Compare yourself to others
- 6. Rely only on others
- 7. Live to meet other people's expectations
- 8. Trying to please everyone
- 9. Trying to change the other person
- ten.Wait for approval of every step you take
- 11. Neglect introspection
- 12. Keep your experiences to yourself
- 13. Not solving problems
- 14. Constantly feel guilty
- 15. Always say yes
- 16. Get angry for no reason
- 17. Expect courtesy from others
- 18. Worry about the little things
- 19. Knocking on a closed door
- 20. Being a disorganized person
- 21. Don't believe in yourself
- 22. Worry about things that are beyond your control
- 23. Too addicted to watching and reading the news
- 24. Forget about hobbies and hobbies
- 25. Deny yourself pleasure
- 26. Alcohol abuse
- 27. Taking on too much
- 28. Neglect physical activity
- 29. Constantly being late
- 30. Procrastinate
- 31. Forget about rest
- 32. Regret the past
2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44
Are you trying to meet other people's expectations and forget about yourself? Stop it and your life will be easier.
Often we ourselves make life difficult for ourselves and make stress an integral part of it. However, you can change everything: remember what and how not to do, and say goodbye to stress.
1. Set abstract goals
When a goal is formulated vaguely, without specifics and time constraints, it will hardly be possible to achieve it. You seem to be doing something, but there is no result, only stress. “I want a lot of money” is an example of an unsuccessful goal setting. If you break down a global goal into several small ones and prioritize, the chances of success will immediately increase:
“My goal is to earn 100 thousand rubles a month. To achieve it, I have to get promoted. To get a promotion, I need to improve my English to the Upper Intermediate level. I can do it in six months."
And now you have a very specific, measurable, achievable and priority goal - to raise your English level by one level in six months.
2. Strive for unrealistic goals
The goals must first of all be realistic and achievable. Well, you will not master a foreign language perfectly in a week. Remember this.
By pushing yourself into a rigid framework, you fail and worry. Be indulgent with yourself and set challenging but doable tasks.
3. Trying to do everything at once
"What matters to me now?" - answer this question and organize your time so that there is always enough time for priority tasks.
Separate the urgent from the important when it comes to workflow. Do not forget: chasing two hares at once, you risk not catching one.
4. Strive for perfectionism in everything
The eternal pursuit of excellence and exaggerated demands on yourself will not add to your happiness. If you can do well, do it. You can do even better - go ahead! But scrupulous improvement of the little things can lead to a nervous breakdown. Know how to stop and feel the moment "I did a great job and I am fully satisfied with the result."
5. Compare yourself to others
You and other people have different goals, different starting capital, capabilities, and personal qualities. Comparisons often turn into self-pity: "I'm such a loser, not like my colleague." And much less often they carry in themselves at least some kind of positive: "He could, and I can" or "I already opened my own business at the age of 30, and he still sits on my parents' neck."
The only one with whom you have to compare yourself is you in the past. This annoying and annoying phrase is not devoid of meaning. Focus on your successes and failures. Find the mistakes that led to the failure and work on them.
You don't have to be better than your mother's friend's son, you have to be better than you were yesterday.
6. Rely only on others
If you expect others to do everything for you or help you in any situation, this threatens an unpleasant outcome. It's good when there are people nearby who are ready to drop everything and break off on the first call. But sometimes circumstances are against us.
Be prepared to cope with the difficulties yourself, so that it does not come as a surprise to you and does not add unnecessary stress.
7. Live to meet other people's expectations
Trying to fulfill the dreams of your loved ones, you are deprived of the opportunity to fulfill yours. But you want to live your life, right?
8. Trying to please everyone
Impossible to please everyone. There will certainly be a person (and more than one) who has a different view of the world. And there is nothing wrong with that. Better be glad that among the seven billion completely different people you have found at least one close to you in spirit.
9. Trying to change the other person
Let others live the way they want. Don't try to adjust the person to your expectations. You probably won't succeed anyway, you will get upset, and stress will not keep you waiting.
ten. Wait for approval of every step you take
Doing only what others approve is to deprive yourself of the opportunity for self-expression and self-realization.
You need to be able to make informed decisions, relying on your goals and needs, even if loved ones think this is not the right step. Listening to advice is good, but you shouldn't constantly look back at others.
11. Neglect introspection
Focus on your emotions: what worries you, what brings pleasure, what is completely indifferent. Don't be afraid to dig deep, it will help you better understand yourself and deal with problems.
12. Keep your experiences to yourself
The negative emotions that build up in you provoke stress. And sooner or later they will break out. Tell people right away what worries you or doesn't suit you. If necessary, consult a psychologist, this is normal. Don't be shy about your emotions.
13. Not solving problems
Solving 10 problems at a time is much more difficult than fixing one at a time. Do not accumulate them: you saw a hole - patch it up and move on.
14. Constantly feel guilty
If you are late, forgot to keep a promise, or offended someone, you will probably be ashamed.
But it happens that the feeling of guilt is imposed: "You did not help me / refused my request / did not live up to expectations." For a person, this is a way of manipulation, but for you, it is a source of stress.
15. Always say yes
Refusing delicately is an art. But you need to master it. Otherwise, you will turn into a humble and weak-willed robot. And stress is indispensable here.
16. Get angry for no reason
If you are very easily pissed off, stress cannot be avoided. Find a way to deal with your irritability that works for you and fix the situation. Someone, for example, is helped by yoga or meditation.
17. Expect courtesy from others
And then be disappointed when expectations were not met. If you are a decent and calm person, this does not mean that you are surrounded by the same people. Unfortunately, the principle “do to others as you would like to be treated to you” often does not work.
18. Worry about the little things
Some tend to attach great importance to irrelevant things. This is an additional source of stress that can be eliminated by learning to separate the important from the secondary.
19. Knocking on a closed door
If you want the stress to stay with you, keep doing things that don't work and don't try to change anything. Or reconsider your actions and try to look at things from a new angle. Perhaps you can find a better solution.
20. Being a disorganized person
This also applies to the daily routine and the mess on the table. Living in endless chaos is not easy, so just train yourself to be orderly.
21. Don't believe in yourself
Self-doubt and complexes are the causes of many troubles. And stress as well.
22. Worry about things that are beyond your control
Very often, the cause of stress is in the worries about what we cannot change and what we cannot influence. For example, we don't know how to control the weather. If the forecast for two weeks of your vacation is disappointing, you do not need to worry about it. You can't change that anyway.
Try to find positive moments in everything and benefit for yourself, instead of getting annoyed and wasting energy on negative emotions.
Bad weather may not let you spend 14 days on the beach, but you will have more reasons to go on interesting excursions and learn something new.
23. Too addicted to watching and reading the news
You will not be able to filter negative information, which, unfortunately, is a lot in the news. Global problems will be added to your personal problems, and this is unlikely to help get rid of stress.
24. Forget about hobbies and hobbies
Hobbies help you take your mind off stress. You are engaged in a business that you truly love, enjoy and relax. Find at least a little time to devote it to your hobby.
25. Deny yourself pleasure
Allow yourself some small pleasures from time to time: spend all Sunday reading a book, take a bubble bath, buy a new dress, go to a riding lesson.
26. Alcohol abuse
Some people try to deal with stress with alcohol, although the effect of it will eventually be the opposite. The Link Between Stress and Alcohol. Instead of drinking, try yoga, meditation, or learning to control your breathing.
27. Taking on too much
Try not to overestimate your capabilities. Everyone has a limit, learn to feel yours.
28. Neglect physical activity
Exercise helps you cope with stress. Exercise and stress: Get moving to manage stress. A toned body will be a pleasant bonus.
29. Constantly being late
Not only are you letting people down, but you're rewarding yourself with an extra dose of stress. Your conscience is tormenting you, and, most likely, some planned cases will have to be postponed until tomorrow.
Try to plan your gatherings carefully and book a little more time so that you can be sure to be in time by the appointed time.
30. Procrastinate
Sometimes it is useful to put things aside and exhale in order to return to tasks with renewed vigor. But the constant postponement of life until tomorrow will not lead to anything good.
31. Forget about rest
You need to relax. Otherwise, you will experience burnout. When you're done with any urgent business, close your laptop and take a break. Try to finish your work on weekdays so that you can spend your weekend relaxing.
32. Regret the past
Do not regret what happened. You won't change anything. But conclusions can be drawn so as not to repeat your mistakes in the future.
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