8 negative phrases to stop telling yourself

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

The more you convince yourself that you will not succeed, the more likely it will happen.

1. "I'm an idiot"

Are you redoing an important project for the third time? Can't figure out what is written in the tutorial? Decided to start programming in Python, but your head was dizzy with new information? At such moments, it's easy to doubt your intellectual abilities and reward yourself with some offensive epithets.

But instead of scolding yourself, try using more careful phrases. For example, “I have strengths and weaknesses. Programming is really hard. We'll have to devote more time and effort to this."

Otherwise, over time, you will really convince yourself that you are not brilliant - and thus cut off your path to interesting projects and new knowledge.

2. “I'm a loser! I can't do anything"

We usually say this when we are tired and the world appears in very dark colors. At such moments, one last little thing is enough to give up and exclaim: "Well, why am I always unlucky!"

However, this is a very general and categorical phrase, and there is usually no significant facts behind it.

Try replacing such expressions with a more neutral version: “Yes, there are ups and downs in my life. But I am doing exactly as much as I can, and as well as I can at the moment."

3. "I myself am to blame for everything"

Sometimes we try to shove responsibility on others, and sometimes we go to the other extreme and begin to blame ourselves for all our, and at the same time others, troubles. This is not constructive and can ruin mood and motivation for a long time. Try saying, “What happened is my role. But I am only responsible for my actions and decisions, and not for the whole situation as a whole."

4. "They probably think that I …"

Oh, this is our eternal delusion - to consider ourselves the center of the universe and think that everyone around is very concerned about how we look, what we say and do. All this, of course, comes from self-doubt: we, in fact, ascribe our own thoughts to others.

That is, it is not your classmates at the alumni meeting who think that you are a loser, but you yourself think that you are.

And even if some strangers are really not happy with you, it still does not mean anything. So replace the worrisome "They think that I …" with this wording: "They can think whatever they want, that's their right. But their opinion is only their opinion, it says nothing about me."

5. "I'm a bummer and a procrastinator."

It happened to everyone: I was going to work, went to the Internet to look for important information, link after link - and now three hours have passed, and you read about Kim Kardashian's plastic surgery or watch a documentary about a fish-drop.

After that, a feeling of guilt will fall on anyone: how is it, I should have done something useful, and instead … I am lazy, dull and passive, I will never achieve anything. Only from such self-flagellation nobody will get better.

It is the feeling of guilt that is one of the reasons for prolonged procrastination. We waste time, then we blame ourselves for this and believe that the day is already ruined and it is pointless to get down to business. Therefore, it is better to replace non-constructive statements with something like “Today is just such a day, I needed to rest. And tomorrow I will catch up."

6. "I will never succeed!"

Everyone, of course, dreams of a bright, bright and comfortable future. But believing in this is not always easy - especially when failures are pouring in from all sides. Decaying thoughts immediately begin to creep into my head: "I will never achieve anything, I will not succeed in anything, and I will die in poverty."

The likelihood that this will happen will be much higher if you continue to scold yourself.

Scientists interviewed Effects of Self-Talk Training on Competitive Anxiety, Self-Efficacy, Volitional Skills, and Performance: An Intervention Study with Junior Sub-Elite Athletes 117 athletes, each of whom was given instructions on how to engage in internal dialogue. Some of the participants gave themselves instructions that were not emotionally colored in any way, the athletes from the second group tried to motivate themselves. The third group praised themselves, the fourth scolded and intimidated. The indicators did not differ too much from each other, but the athletes from the first three groups still showed higher athletic performance and were more confident than those who criticized themselves.

If you really want to despair and doubt yourself, you can do it in a more benign form: “Yes, I understand that failure can await me. But this is not a reason not to try. In any case, I will draw a valuable experience from this story."

7. “I missed this opportunity! But I could have tried a little!"

Impressive earnings, interesting offers and useful contacts sometimes float away from us. Sometimes we ourselves are to blame for this, and sometimes the circumstances are so. But before diving into regret, remember that failure happens to absolutely everyone.

For example, not so long ago the hashtag # I was taken was popular on social networks. Under it, a variety of people, even successful and famous, told how they failed when entering a university, hiring a job or during important negotiations.

Therefore, before sighing about what you have missed and tormenting yourself, try to express this thought in a different way: “I didn't succeed here. Therefore, I will burn out a little, and then I will analyze my mistakes and work on them. " You can also remember what happened in your life due to the "failure". For example, if you were hired for your dream job, you would not get a job in a small company and meet your half.

8. “They always succeed. Not like mine …"

I wonder if there is at least one person in the world who has not been compared with others since childhood?

Petya has already eaten the porridge, but you haven't. Masha got an A, and you got a C. All your classmates are already married, and you will stay alone.

Of course, we get used to the fact that there are some Masha and Petit around all the time, who are a priori better than us. And we persistently compare ourselves with them, hoping that we are not inferior to them in anything. And, of course, we often lose the comparison, because someone's grass will definitely turn out to be greener.

Instead of being jealous of others and berating yourself cruelly, look at the situation from a different angle: “He tried well, and this is what he came to. I have a lot to learn from him. The world has enough success, money and love for each of us.