How to end a relationship that is no longer joyful

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

A happy ending is an obligatory attribute of children's fairy tales, but in life everything is much more prosaic. We often find ourselves hostage to our love stories. And they just have to learn to end a difficult and difficult relationship on time with minimal losses for both partners.

In one of the episodes of the cult series about relationships, Sex and the City, Carrie Bradshaw is unexpectedly dumped by one of her many men. No explanation, just a yellow apology sticker. Even if you have not watched this series and hear about Carrie for the first time, this story has an important message: leaving without explanation is bad (Brodsky or Akhmatova's poems on the sticker still do not count).

Yes, sometimes it is simply necessary to end a relationship, and for both parties. This will not only help the one who made the decision to leave, but also give the second person a chance to get rid of one-sided attachment in time and meet their true love.

Recognizing a problem is the first step to solving it

Do not think that you are unique and were the first to face a similar problem. From time to time, many of us find ourselves hostage to our own relationships. The bonds begin to crush, like a heavy stone, do not allow you to breathe deeply. Sometimes you really want to free yourself from this oppression in order to stop breaking wings for yourself and your partner and finally start living alone.

And yes, there is nothing wrong with the fact that the startup of your love did not fly. Find the strength to admit it so you can move on. In love, as in business, there are failures.

Of course, there are some signals that the Rubicon has been crossed and it is time to end the love story. Analyze your relationship, sort out yourself and your desires. And make a decision.

The longer we turn to memories and think in the past (that is, we think about what is no longer and will not be), the further we ourselves push aside the real prospects of a happy future. In addition, if everything was really smooth and perfect in your relationship, you would hardly be reading this article now, would you?

Don't pull: better now than later

The ideal moment for a breakup will not come, you do not need to amuse yourself with hopes. There is no good time for anything in life. If things are really bad, the rule is: "The sooner the better."

Give your partner the opportunity to meet a person who truly loves him.

But let's be honest: don't pull the rubber. At stake is the chance of not becoming the "goat who has been a sailor for years, but never got married." So don't fail.

How not to do

Real life story. I have a very smart and very beautiful friend who has been dating an equally smart and handsome guy for several years. The guys could easily star in any American movie about couples in love, where all the characters and, of course, their relationship is perfect.

Once this guy was going to his friend for a bachelor party. It was not a surprise, and no one was against a weekend with friends.

The young man kissed his girlfriend before leaving and promised to be very bored, and already from the taxi to the airport he wrote that she would look in the closet for "something." Nothing boded trouble, and the girl happily assumed that she had been given a sweet surprise.

It really was not without a surprise. A restrained letter was waiting in the closet, in which the guy calmly announced that he had stopped loving and it was all over. He told the now ex-girlfriend to take out all the things before his return. Well, yes, he already asked a friend to feed the cat.

This is a very violent breakup scenario. You can't do that.

How best to tell about the decision to break up

It would seem that in a world where gadgets and social networks rule the ball, there are many good creative ways to end a relationship. Send an SMS with a sad smile or a sticker with a deep meaning to Telegram, change your Facebook status "In a relationship" to "Single", write an email with the subject "I'm leaving", in the end! New realities and modern technologies really offer a wide range of contexts for human communication. But it’s not that simple.

Researchers of modern communications believe that people choose different types of communication (telephone, email, Skype, and so on) depending on what emotions they want to convey at a particular moment.

Maybe there is some way to use technology to break up painlessly?

Can you limit yourself to SMS?

No. No messenger can replace a live heart-to-heart conversation. Do not forget that behind emoticons and stickers in messages there are real people with lively emotions and the process of parting with you can be much more difficult for them than for you.

Respect the person you loved. Treat your partner with compassion, if only out of a sense of gratitude for everything you went through together.

Remember: the more serious a person took these relationships and the more invested in them, the more difficult and painful it will be for him to be over, the more difficult it will be for him to recover.

Have the courage to look your partner in the eye and voice what's going on between you. Thank you for everything that happened.

Maybe not all is lost? After all, sometimes over the years of a relationship, feelings become a little dulled and we sometimes forget how much we love someone.

Basically, there are two options for the development of events:

1. You discuss problems and start doing something together to rekindle an extinguished fire.
2. You act decisively and break up.

Never humiliate anyone

Never go overboard or go into insults. If you say goodbye to your girlfriend or boyfriend a bunch of nasty things, you will give her or him a bunch of complexes. At the same time, your life will not get better from it. (By the way, if you do this, most likely you have the complexes.)

You better blame yourself. Like, honey, you are very good and generally beautiful, I'm just a difficult guy with my cockroaches and I will always be like that. Or say something about a handsome prince and your difficult relationship with your own inner world.

Of course, you and I remember that both partners are always to blame for a problematic relationship. But if you decide to leave when it is not expected at all, it is better to say that it is in you. So it will be easier for the partner to recover from the breakup, but do you remember that we are responsible for those we have tamed?

Leaving, go away

If you decide to leave, then do it irrevocably, once and for all. Don't give too much hope if you're just bored.

There is no need to write to your already ex-girlfriend from nowhere, if suddenly it seems to you that beautiful snow has gone outside the window. You don't need to send a photo of yourself in a swimsuit to an abandoned guy, because you suddenly remembered how we went to the sea together.

Leave him or her alone and give a chance to live your life.

Constantly appearing in the life of a former partner, but at the same time not wanting to be with him, is extremely selfish and not very beautiful on your part. Love can be addiction too. Have you ever seen alcoholics advised to drink red wine once a week, and drug addicts to take small doses of coke?

Contactless payments are gaining popularity today. So, friends, not only payments should be contactless. The first time after your breakup should be like this. Research confirms that people who don't come into contact with their former lovers recover more quickly from a breakup. Are you a good person and don't want to hurt you?

Everything will be fine?

Necessarily. All the characters in the play.

Just please don't try to befriend the person you are leaving. At first, for sure. Remember, psychologists are convinced that intergender friendship without a love story is much better than the relationship you can build with a former partner.

Feel free to look for new friends and girlfriends to share news with them and send each other selfies, and leave your understanding, but already former soul mate alone.