Impostor Syndrome: What It Is and How to Get Rid of It

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

“You don't belong here. You're not good enough. You just got lucky. Soon they will realize that you are not that smart. Ever heard that voice in your head? Then you are not alone. This is the impostor syndrome. And more than 70% of successful people come across it sooner or later.

Psychologist Gail Matthews found that the vast majority of successful people admitted that they felt imposters at some point in their lives.

To find out if you are one of them, answer the questions:

Have you credited your success to luck, the right moment, or a mistake?
Do you agree with the statement that “if I can, then anyone can”?
Are you suffering from minor flaws in your work?
Do you feel overwhelmed even by constructive criticism, seeing it as direct evidence of your inadequacy?
When you are successful, do you feel like you've cheated everyone again?
Are you worried about being "exposed" and it's only a matter of time?

The most interesting thing about impostor syndrome is that you are already successful. The problem is, you cannot accept it.

People with Impostor Syndrome have trouble transforming their competence into gut feeling. You can see your accomplishments on your resume, but emotionally you are disconnected from them. The story the resume tells about you and the story you yourself tell about yourself don't fit together. Let's talk about why this is happening and what you can do to fix it.

What is Impostor Syndrome

Why, when there are so many know-it-alls around who know absolutely nothing, so many really smart people are not sure of themselves?

The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so confident, and the wise are so full of doubts. Bertrand Russell British philosopher, mathematician, public figure

Psychologists have found the answer: it's all about a cognitive distortion, which is called the Dunning-Kruger effect. The bottom line is that stupid people do not have enough experience to correctly assess how low their qualifications are, so they are convinced of their genius, even if they are not. On the other hand, people with experience realize how often they have made mistakes in the past, and therefore tend to underestimate their abilities, even when they are right.

Many successful people who have faced Impostor Syndrome have described how they felt.

Because of the exaggerated assessment that has been given to my life's work, I am very embarrassed. I am forced to think of myself as an unintentional fraudster. Albert Einstein, Nobel Prize Laureate in Physics

I have already written eleven books, but every time I think: just about - and people will understand that I am not worthy of this. I'm playing catch-up with everyone, and I'm about to get caught. Maya Angelou, American writer and poet

I always expect the police to appear, take away untalented people, and arrest me. Mike Myers, actor, comedian, screenwriter and film producer

But the irony is that it is not just talented people who suffer from impostor syndrome, but those who least of all can be called liars.

Some researchers argue that impostor syndrome is equally common among men and women, others that it is much more common among women. The term "impostor syndrome" itself was coined by two women scientists, Pauline R. Clance and Suzanne A. Imes.

Various enterprise studies show that women often rate their work worse than it actually is, while men do the opposite. When medical students were asked to self-assess themselves, female students gave themselves lower scores than male students, despite the fact that female teachers in this group outperformed male students. After examining 1,000 Harvard students, researchers found that girls scored lower than boys in nearly every subject related to legal practice. The situation is aggravated when a woman assesses herself in the presence of other people or in areas that are considered masculine. Sheryl Sandberg Facebook COO, writer

Researchers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology found that when the number of female students on the course exceeded 15%, the girls' academic performance improved dramatically. Girls who attend segregated schools have higher career aspirations than those who attend regular schools.

Reality can change under the influence of emotions. When you feel exhausted, your cognitive performance gets worse. Feeling socially alienated actually (temporarily) makes you dumber.

And if you are in a situation where stereotypes tell you that you will not be able to cope, you will do the task worse than you can. Are girls worse at math than boys? Of course, if you remind them of this.

Adding gender to the test results in women performing worse on tasks than men.

But this also applies to men. Representatives of the stronger sex, who during the study were told that the test tests "the ability to empathize, better developed in women", showed less impressive results than those men who were told that the test tests "the ability to complexly process information." With the same scenario, there were no significant differences in women's performance.

When you feel like an outsider or are dealing with negative beliefs about your own abilities, you may find yourself under the influence of impostor syndrome. But if you are actually doing well, why can't you accept it as fact and free yourself? There are several reasons for this.

Vicious circle

Impostor Syndrome is directly linked to anxiety and fear of failure. You keep moving forward to maintain visibility … But even when you work hard not to get caught, you only increase your confidence that you are an impostor. “You deceived everyone again. But next time you won't be so lucky."

Unsurprisingly, scientists have found a link between impostor syndrome and fear of failure. One way or another, we spend our entire adult life trying to avoid mistakes. In the world of the impostor, there is simply no such thing as constructive criticism: there is only condemnation. And the lack of approval is, in a sense, further proof that you are a cheater. And the score slightly lower than good is regarded as an official accusation of this.

And you keep working harder, but you don't feel better. As Jim Carrey said of his impostor syndrome and the hard work that followed, "If I continue to think I'm worthless, I'll be the king of show business."

You feel not only exhausted but also lonely. You cannot tell anyone about your "secret". You cannot ask for help because you will look insolvent.

At the end of the day, it’s exhausting. Working hard, being afraid of being exposed, and not being able to ask for help is stressful. As a result, you are doing yourself irreparable harm. But there are other ways to deal with Impostor Syndrome. Let's dwell on them.

1. Focus on learning

Psychologist Carol Dweck recommends focusing on learning rather than results.

People with impostor syndrome often think they are not smart enough. And we are sure that they cannot become smarter. This is because they focus on specific goals, such as "How can I get the highest score?" instead of "How can I get better?"

Focusing on self-improvement means admitting that you are not perfect, but you know that you can become better. And with such an installation, you really can. After all, even if you are mistaken, you understand that you have learned something new.

But focusing exclusively on the results of activities means calming down only after death. This is incredible stress that pushes you into unhealthy and possibly unethical behavior.

2. Strive for "good enough"

There are bugs in Microsoft software. The developers are well aware of them. And that's okay. Microsoft starts every project, probably knowing that a new product will come out with bugs. After all, if they wanted to make it perfect, then it would never have been completed. Never at all. Therefore, they focused on the criterion "good enough".

Just stop expecting yourself to be in a constant state of being perfect. Instead, aim for an adequate level of comfort. The reality is that even the brightest and most talented of us spend most of our time doing ordinary tasks where we don't need to do something supernatural.

Swarthmore College professor Barry Schwartz says "good enough" is the secret to happiness.

Instead of trying to maintain the illusion that you are perfect, admit that you are not. Don't try to be overconfident; learn to empathize with yourself. Forgive yourself if you ruin something. Research confirms that self-compassion has the same benefits as self-confidence, but no downsides.

3. Remove the mask

Basically, getting rid of impostor syndrome is simple: take off your mask. Don't be an impostor.

If we knew all of each other's secrets, what a comfort it would be. John Churton Collins English critic

Pressure, pain, discomfort - it's all due to stealth. As we've already established, 70% of successful people have felt this at some point in their lives. A significant number of people are experiencing this right now. Therefore, do not be afraid to be in the majority.

And don't be afraid to talk to others. No, you do not have to send all your friends and colleagues the “I AM A DIET” email. Self-flagellation is also not required. You just need to share with someone how you feel. You suffer in silence because you are silent.

Talking to others is an effective strategy. We cannot know what is going on in another person's head, although it is quite possible that he is just as perplexed. Therefore, make an effort to learn how to communicate with others. When you see that the people you admire (or fear) also occasionally worry about their accomplishments, you will be able to take a fresh look at your own worries.

Talk to someone you suspect has experienced Impostor Syndrome and knows how to deal with it. When you share your feelings, two important things will happen:

You will find that you are no longer an impostor. You are not pretending. You have removed your mask.
You will see that the other person has experienced the same. You are not alone. And there is no need to hide it.

Now let's go back and decide to take the very first and most important step to get rid of the impostor syndrome.

Outcomes

How to get rid of Impostor Syndrome:

Focus on the learning process. You can get better if you try. Focus on this.
Be guided by the "good enough" principle. Don't try to be perfect. Even if you made a mistake, do not dwell on it.
Remove the mask. Share your thoughts with someone who knows the feeling. You are not alone.

It may seem to you that you are walking naked down the street and opening too much of your heart, and your mind, and all that is hidden inside you, to show yourself. If you feel this, then you are doing everything right. Neil Gaiman is a famous English science fiction writer, author of graphic novels and comics

So what should be the first step?

Plan your own exposure. Right now. Write to someone you can talk to about this and make an appointment. Each of us wears masks. This is part of life. But from now on, if you want to wear one of them, do it not because you are an impostor, but because you are a superhero.