7 signs of an inadequate dating app

Count how many dead conversations you have on Tinder. And then estimate the number of unsuccessful dates that ended up ignoring the interlocutor or adding to the black list. They are almost wasted time and emotional resources. But it could have been different. Most of the unsuitable partners can be weeded out even before the start of the dialogue and the first meeting. Let's analyze the most common markers that you and your interlocutor are not on the way.

1. Requirements for a partner

In the questionnaire, a person writes not about himself, but about the desired partner. What height, weight, hobbies he should have. Yes, sometimes they just list it that way. But often the requirements are disguised as more innocuous formulations: "My height is 192, consider this", "We will go to the gym together", "If you have not watched Rick and Morty, you will."

We are all looking for the perfect person. Someone who will meet our requirements. This is totally normal. But, as the popular wisdom says, if you demand - correspond. If a person begins to directly declare what he expects from a partner, and does not say what he can give himself, an alarm bell rings.

Most likely, your desires will be ignored, and subsequently emotional pressure may begin. You will be required to fully comply with the stated ideal. Step left, step right - hello, criticism and humiliation. And this is the abuse of How to Recognize the Signs of Mental and Emotional Abuse.

2. "I" -formulation

For such people, there is nothing but themselves. Their profiles contain continuous lists of achievements (sometimes artificially exaggerated) and elevating themselves to the rank of an ideal partner. "The owner of a startup, bought an apartment without a mortgage at 23, I will become the best father to your children - my dogs will confirm", "While everyone is working in offices with hated bosses, I sit in Bali and work successfully for myself." Photos of material goods, such as cars, are a bonus.

Congratulations, this is a Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Such people are also demanding, only this trait is revealed at the stage of communication. They need admiration and receive it in all possible ways. The most common is the already mentioned protrusion of one's merits and humiliation of others, including a partner.

3. Self-flagellation

A person deliberately criticizes and humiliates himself in the questionnaire in order to appear poor and unhappy. How it looks: "I am the most ordinary and unprepossessing", "Ordinary office plankton", "I wanted my business, a yacht and a house on Lake Como by 25, and as a result, in the evenings I drink beer on a bench in Maryino." Probably, such in profiles have few photos and it is difficult to determine from them what the user looks like.

There are two scenarios. First, a person may be 10 Signs of Covert Narcissism as a hidden narcissist. This type of people also has an urgent need for recognition and admiration, but they achieve it in the opposite way. They do not talk about their achievements, but, on the contrary, underestimate them. Agree, when a person doubts himself, you want to support or praise him. This is what the hidden daffodils feed on. Second scenario: such a person can awaken the Always Trying to ‘Save’ People? You Might Have a Savior Complex. And he, in turn, leads to codependent relationships.

4. Loud promises

The questionnaires often promise a lot. "No one will love you as much as I do", "Only with you will I change", "With me your world will become more interesting and fun." And we are, because it reminds the scripts of our favorite rom-coms, where the life of the protagonist is radically changed thanks to the partner. But in reality everything is different.

Such seemingly harmless promises hide emotional manipulators How to Recognize the Signs of Emotional Manipulation and What to Do. They will quietly force you to do what they need. Make you feel guilty and question your sanity. To humiliate, hiding behind excuses like "I'm just kidding." In general, violate personal boundaries as much as possible and suppress your personality.

5. Vulgar lexicon

When a person uses a dating app to find a sexual partner, they usually talk about it right away. And if in its wording there are diminutive-affectionate or, conversely, obscene names of genitals - it is worth thinking for a second.

Yes, such a vocabulary might be appropriate. For example, when both are important! - the interlocutor is fond of dirty talks. On this basis, you, in fact, can converge. But for someone, "ass" from the doorway is a violation of personal boundaries. In addition, such expressions often speak of a person's lack of sexual education, as well as infantilism and selfishness.

6. Jokes about 420

Remember the 4: 19/4: 20 meme? He was born in America: it is at this time that students' classes end and they go to smoke weed. The designation has taken root all over the world. And now users of dating applications describe their preferences in this way, indicating simply 420 or 420 friendly. They can also add an emoji of a leaf.

Now 420 means not only weed, but the whole spectrum of prohibited substances. Needless to say, drug addicts have psychological problems? We think you already know that.

7. Lack of photos

Memes, random pictures or “Looking for Mistress / Master” announcements - and not a single photo. Or they are, but without a face: a shot from the back, a silhouette in the setting sun, a hand on the steering wheel of a car.

No matter how popular the phrase "Appearance is not the main thing," in life, the opposite is often the case. Initially, we choose a partner based on the picture, especially in dating. But this is not the biggest problem of "faceless" people.

The lack of a photo says a lot. For example, about low self-esteem. Some people already in correspondence when requesting a photo answer: "I'm ugly, let's better meet." It may also refer to the latent narcissism we talked about above. In addition, some people are embarrassed to use dating. They are worried about the opinions of others and possible censure - another marker of the narcissist Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

There are a lot of weird people in apps, but there are also normal ones. Tinder alone has 57 million users around the world, and among them there is surely the very person with whom you will find happiness. After all, such stories are real.