7 dating myths that keep you from finding your happiness

2024 Author: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 03:44

Change your approach to romantic dates if you want to not only have a good time, but also build a harmonious relationship.

1. "Chemistry" between partners on the first date is required

The common myth about halves is to blame for everything: they say, you see the one who is intended for you - and you immediately realize everything. If in three seconds it was not possible to understand whether you are ready to spend your whole life with this person or not, then there is no point in meeting further.

In fact, such a development of events is not excluded, but it is absolutely not necessary. There are people with whom we have the same interests, life goals, thoughts about the future. But to be convinced of this, you need to communicate. And at first glance, you can only evaluate the appearance, so that the notorious "spark", in general, does not mean anything.

Of course, if a person is categorically unpleasant, this is significant. But if you are generally sympathetic to him, then because of mythology and stereotypes, you should not deprive yourself of the opportunity to get to know him better.

2. A man should pay for everything

This thesis is taken so seriously, as if it was filled with small print number 11 on the tablets of Moses. In fact, these are social "dances" that are successful if both partners dance. That is, both the man and the woman must be firmly convinced that this is how it works and that it means something.

The very conviction refers to the times when a woman, in essence, had nothing to pay with. If she worked, she received little, because her whole "career" was reduced to the expectation of marriage. She did not have personal money from this, but it seems like the husband was supposed to support the family.

Times have changed. Women work and are able to pay everywhere on their own. The fact that a man pays for two is an element of courtship, no more, like many other gestures and actions. But you hardly heard something like: "He climbed the stairs in front of me, I don't want to see him again." But with the bill for a cup of coffee, such a story is common.

Although if the date is one of the first, this is still an acquaintance, not courtship. In addition, now, thanks to the Internet, an adult can go on first dates several times a week - you won't pay for everyone. And it's not so much about money as about common sense.

However, if you think differently, then why not. Dating is there to find out if outlooks on life coincide. If this is not so, it doesn’t mean that the person is bad, it’s just that you are different.

3. Sex - on the third date

A normal sexual relationship begins when both partners want it and both agree. Man is a very complex creature, influenced not only by biological, but also by social mechanisms. That is why someone is ready for sex already on the first date, while someone, by virtue of convictions, will wait until the wedding.

All options are normal, this is the choice of a person who does not do anyone badly. So all that remains is to look for someone whose aspirations coincide with yours.

4. A date without flowers is not a date

Bouquets are considered a mandatory attribute of courtship, but not always. First, not everyone loves cut flowers and even flowers in general. Secondly, people have all sorts of allergies, and an unfamiliar donor may not be aware of this. Thirdly, a bouquet can bring a lot of inconvenience on a date: how to carry it for a walk, where to put it in a cafe, where to place it, if it's a go-kart center.

So bouquet is not the default option. If you want to do something pleasant in this way, you should first find out if it will really be pleasant.

5. You need to show only your best sides

This is inevitable: when we meet new people, we try to introduce them to the best version of ourselves. But you shouldn't be too zealous. Because if the relationship develops, wearing a mask for the rest of your life or connection will not work. As a result, sooner or later you will appear in front of your partner as a different person, and not the one he loved.

Of course, there is no need to rush and release all your cockroaches on the first date, but you can already "walk" them one at a time. In the end, harmonious relationships are not built by ideal people, but by those who coincide with each other. So it's better to start looking for common ground right away.

6. A woman must be unapproachable, and a man mysterious

Here you can substitute any stereotypical definitions that society has - a carriage for each gender. And most likely, living up to accepted expectations will actually help more people like you. But does it make sense if, in the end, you need one - the only person who will love you, and not the stereotypical tinsel.

Moreover, all sorts of features will become "face control" and even on the approach will cut off those for whom there is no need to waste time.

7. Dating an Internet acquaintance is not real

A significant part of life has moved to the Internet. But people are still suspicious of online dating. Therefore, if you met with friends, at intellectual games, in a bar or on the street, then this is a serious date. And if via the Internet, then nothing good will come of it.

This is, of course, a myth. The Internet is just another channel of communication, where there are nice people and unpleasant ones - everything is like in life. And many find their halves on the Web, for example, the heroes of our material about Internet dating.